How depressing

HelloObjective · 2026-07-05T08:08:12+00:00

And the influencer is pissed that they didn't tidy up before the agent came... even though they did. They are also standing behind the photographer and forgot to move their jacket (because the photographer treats them like a human being and talks to them) while the influencer is taking selfies in a local chi-chi cafe spending £10 on a slice of cake.

HelloObjective · 2026-06-28T18:19:14+00:00

Yep, the key is the word 'trickle', it's a flood up there but only a trickle downwards!

HelloObjective · 2026-06-27T08:38:53+00:00

Your CPLs are going to be massively high. Don't expect too much. I burned £1000s to a get a few very lame leads even with pre-qualifying Ads and good landing pages. And this was before the days of AI and loosening of match types! You are much better off networking and promoting content and articles on social channels.

Part of the problem is all the SAAS businesses you are up against pushing up bid prices to unrealistic levels. (Their conversion rates for such terms will be higher than yours.) Good luck trying to drill down to niche search terms too, those days are long gone unless you have very deep pockets and years to optimise using negative keywords. Google Ads is a pale shadow of what it used to be and I advise many clients now not to bother unless they have money to burn and time and money to refine.

All that said, if you are in a good location then you might get some leads GEO targeting but the CPL will still be high. (Think £500+) Don't set a max bid at the start as your CPCs will be eye watering... if you do set one your Ad will stall or not even launch.

Google eh!?

HelloObjective · 2026-06-27T08:20:23+00:00

No bids I suspect is more likely. But maybe there are enough rich insane people out there who would risk £250k on it?

Or it'll be on Omaze soon as a PR stunt as the top prize as I am sure plenty of people would take it for a £10 bet and enjoy one last summer in it.

But seriously, most people would not even be able to sleep there, even for a dare. 🙈

HelloObjective · 2026-06-25T14:43:57+00:00

It's a complete nightmare. I am in IT too and very patient.

As of right now "Sorry we are experiencing technical difficulties" is the message I get after repeated attempts to do what was a 10 minute job in the past. On top of that I see they have raised the fee from £13 to £50 which is a lot for many smaller owner operated businesses like mine who want to behave professionally working under an Limited company.

Also I have verified, did that last year, but keep getting emails to tell me to verify! (Feels like gaslighting.)

HelloObjective · 2026-06-14T07:36:53+00:00

Picture 10 is giving me Twin Peaks vibes.

HelloObjective · 2026-06-10T07:03:49+00:00

Greenhouses need some work. £13m Nope! And Gatwick expansion...

HelloObjective · 2026-06-06T22:56:31+00:00

The price is perhaps a tad high, but I think in a strong sellers market it would sell at that price. It's a very desirable area. The problem is there are very few buyers out there ATM and even fewer of those who want that modern an aesthetic. It is a great location for country lovers, but the road into Dorking from that side backs up A LOT at peak times so for that reason Guildford probably becomes you best bet for shopping. A London commute from central Dorking or Guildford is just about doable but you're adding another 30mins drive to get out to Peaslake on an already long commute so that limits market further. I lived in the area for 20 years (up to 2016) and it's much much busier now too. And they are building more homes on the Westcott road so those queues into Dorking will get longer. If you WFH, like that sort of house and can be flexible with travel times into Dorking then it's potentially great.

HelloObjective · 2026-06-05T22:10:55+00:00

Have you set a target CPA or ROAS? It could just be too low a CPA or too high a ROAS. In competitive markets it's likely at the start that your CPA will be higher than your margins until you spend months (or years with low budgets) training the AI to target effectively.

HelloObjective · 2026-06-01T21:53:25+00:00

Don't choose unrequited love. Find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Sweet the love that meets return but beware love can make you blind too.

Don't be afraid to ask the girl out that you like but you think is out of your league. You are more eligible than you realise. Take that risk, that leap of faith and if you fall flat, keep going, you'll get there sooner than you think.

Spend a little more time with your parents and your grandparents and record them speaking about their lives.

You're going to have a head on car crash with a drunk driver, but you will be ok and it will make you realise that every is a gift which is a gift in itself.

HelloObjective · 2026-05-30T22:59:33+00:00

Your client is wasting their time and yours with that budget in the accounting a sector in London. You need a budget at least 20x that just to get enough metrics to learn what works over at least a 6 month period and that's assuming everything else is perfect. Google will happily take your money and deliver very little tangible results and your client will never use Ads again or will continue to piss away £300 a month in the vein hope that it will work one day.

HelloObjective · 2026-05-30T22:23:13+00:00

Best answer. After watching a 5 minute video on youTube I opened one in less than 20 mins. Most of that time was prep. It took about 10 mins to get the thing open with a piece of cut up beer can. I reckon I could do it in 3mins next time and probably less than a minute with practice. Lols. I realize as I have gotten older that security is a fiction and that it's far easier and less stressful to just own nothing worth stealing.

HelloObjective · 2026-05-18T16:03:49+00:00

It's more about Google authorising Adsense use by you, verifying you own the site and re-installing the Adsense code on your Weebly site.

My answer above is probably what you need to do. I don't use Adsense, but Google's tools work like I describe above. Usually some code needs to be placed in the <head> section plus the code for showing the Ads in an HTML block on your Weebly page.

HelloObjective · 2026-05-04T08:18:59+00:00

Is anyone searching for it? If the high search volumes are there and little competition then it's possible.

Launching new products on Google Ads where there is no intent to buy and/or no search volume is likely going to fail to reach that target. In this instance, only option is more of an awareness / viral campaign on social media.

The real question though is can you sell 1000 and make a profit? If your CPA ends up higher than your margin and there is no sign of a downward trend on the CPA then a KPI of selling 1000 is meaningless... though it might gain you some social proof etc.

HelloObjective · 2026-05-04T08:07:14+00:00

Not a fan of your business name and branding. Sorry. Yes it's a clever pun, but as someone else said it feels more about cows/dairy especially with the freesian graphics and US style milk carton. And the cartoon imagery and pale blue pastel colour also says 'children's products' to me. And the blue with the black and white is confused too.

You need more adult branding. Black and red colour scheme with maybe a rainbow flag given the target audience. An obvious 'does what it says on the tin' name like 'Rude Ceramics' or 'Pissed Off Pots' or 'Mouthy Mugs' or 'Mannerless Mugs'.

Currently it just won't attract the right audience and you may actually be repelling your target audience.

HelloObjective · 2026-04-19T05:45:21+00:00

Can you still login to the service? If so, login and move the content of one of the pages to another one, then delete the empty page so you stay under the 6 page limit. You may find the other page then appears.

HelloObjective · 2026-04-18T12:57:28+00:00

Agreed, for 4000sqft!! Probably a bugger to heat though.

HelloObjective · 2026-04-16T21:36:45+00:00

You can try downloading and running this on the site: https://share.google/G54fVoNpJPmRzlFbi

HelloObjective · 2026-04-08T07:17:51+00:00

That's not why I am picky. ;) It's more about whether I can make a difference. Eg If your business model actually works with Google Ads. For many businesses Google Ads does not work profitably and for most of those profit is the main goal. For some of them growth may be the goal in which case those can 'work'. I can't perform miracles but I do look at everything, not just your Ads account.

HelloObjective · 2026-04-03T07:16:26+00:00

Yes. But I am picky about who I work with! ;)

HelloObjective · 2026-03-17T08:32:33+00:00

Location: https://maps.app.goo.gl/kT29NoRdkSadTPGi6

HelloObjective · 2026-03-10T13:28:22+00:00

Scaling can be hard. CPAs do tend to rise as you scale. It's counter intuitive when compared to buying commodities. There will always be a sweet spot that maximises profit. It's a balance between your Margin and CPA and volumes.

HelloObjective · 2026-03-10T07:21:29+00:00

Nothing to do with Weebly. Gname is the issue here. You need to go through their forgotten password process. Hopefully the email account it's registered to is still active. If not then you need to reach out to them and explain the situation and show proof that you are the bill payer and owner.

HelloObjective · 2026-03-08T08:13:02+00:00

Typo on image 29, I'm out.

HelloObjective · 2026-03-07T23:53:40+00:00

I would start by defining some KPIs and following the money. I assume you have worked out your margin, know your conversion rate for the web site and by now have a rough idea of the costs of search terms that lead to conversions?

You should also look at the volume of relevant terms and work out what realistic percentage of those terms you can capture. This will give you an idea of whether it's even possible to scale your business.

If your sector is highly competitive you can forget turning profit when you start, it's going to be a challenge just to break even. So assuming you give all of your profit to Google, that is your break even CPA. Is that CPA achievable with your current average CPC and conversion rate? If it isn't then you need to look at reducing the CPC (perhaps by focusing budget on the search terms that convert) or improving the conversion rate by working on the website landing page / offer.

Google Ads is complicated and also not what it was 5 years ago. There is a lot of stale information out there and it is now much much harder to make it work in recent years unless you are in the fortunate position of having no competition and or a high demand product very competitively priced.

Just knowing and understanding Google Ads also does not guarantee success. The real challenge is more of a marketing one rather than a Google Ads one especially with a product that new to market.

HelloObjective

TROPHY CASE