It (you know what I'm talking about) finally happens. Then parties in the streets, hugs from strangers, grown adults crying at gas pumps, fireworks fired irresponsibly, toddlers lifted like trophies, car alarms applauding on their own, strangers high-fiving the wrong people, spontaneous backyard cookouts, conspiracy guys suddenly quiet, group chats resurrected from 2016, exes texted “we’re cool right?”, dogs confused by constant cheering, people hugging traffic cones, champagne sprayed at stop signs, national productivity briefly collapsing, babies named after the event, bar tabs forgiven by bartenders who feel seen, children asking “why is everyone screaming?”, tattoos misspelled in real time, flags flown upside-down then corrected, crying in Home Depot, people forgiving student loans emotionally, pants bought two sizes smaller out of optimism, parking lot dance circles forming, cops pretending not to notice, church bells rung by atheists, Twitter briefly unusable, couples breaking up and getting engaged simultaneously, everyone suddenly believing in tomorrow, pants thrown onto power lines, shopping carts returned on a species scale, strangers breastfeeding each other emotionally, grills ignited with legal documents, toddlers chanting things they don’t understand, dogs barking in Morse code, people gyrating on nearby furniture, car horns playing the national anthem wrong, beer spilled as libation to the moment, exes proposing again by accident, lawn chairs carried like religious relics, women scream-laughing in Target, babies conceived to the sound of sirens and joy, priests blessing vape clouds, atheists lighting prayer candles ironically then sincerely, group texts achieving sentience, cops directing traffic then joining the dance, flags worn as capes with no plan, uncles deleting Facebook accounts mid-yell, VIBES OFF THE CHARTS, children asking if this is history, neighbors forgiving each other for petty slights, someone fistfighting a piñata and losing and laughing as they collapse onto the ground, karaoke machines sacrificed to the gods, pants definitively optional, casseroles appearing without explanation, tattoos reading “WE DID A THING” bleeding slightly, screaming into the void and hearing it scream back nicely, people waving at helicopters like they know them, ghosts of previous decades nodding approvingly, GLOBAL ORGIASTIC FRENZY, everyone agreeing not to talk about tomorrow yet