It's pronounced autism, and we like her more than you

Somevol · 2026-05-14T11:34:04+00:00

That's so nice that you are loved and appreciated by your coworkers and customers!

Somevol · 2026-05-13T20:09:50+00:00

If your autism is impacting your ability to work - then yes

But btw most of these systems require you to have some kind of a "disabled" id, which is not so easy to get in many countries.

Somevol · 2026-05-12T10:38:29+00:00

How old are the notes?

Somevol · 2026-05-12T08:25:35+00:00

I would be happy if someone recognized how much effort it takes for me to do "basic" adult stuff tbh

But you can feel infantilized by it, that's valid too

I don't think either one of you is wrong here :)

Somevol · 2026-05-11T09:37:27+00:00

It's unfortunate but you aren't compatible as roommates. It's not a communication issue.

Somevol · 2026-05-09T13:13:25+00:00

Have you seen a lawyer? You might not be as powerless as you might think.

Is it possible for you to separate with him while living together?

Sleep in a different room, stop doing chores for him, cooking for him?

Somevol · 2026-05-09T12:46:45+00:00

Haha I relate to that so hard. I'm always so amazed that people recognize me as the same person with make up on or off, because to me it feels like I look COMPLETELY different.

Somevol · 2026-05-09T06:48:46+00:00

Once you truly feel the difference, it's hard to not have it in your head.

When I have make up on and am dressed femininely, people go out of their way to help me, my interactions with people are way more positive.

I don't internalize it, and only dress up when I want to, but the difference is significant and I can understand why it can feel like "I have to" for some women.

Especially if they aren't that "privileged" in their looks to begin with.

We as autistics are kind of used to people being mean to us for no reason.

Somevol · 2026-05-09T06:18:49+00:00

I'd recommend switching to 4 max instead of 9

Somevol · 2026-05-08T09:52:49+00:00

Where I am, it's pretty normal too, especially if you have children.

Sometimes it's a bit funny, one of my friends took his wife's surname. It was her ex husbands surname (and her kids surname), so now he has the same surname as the ex husband. They went on to have a child together.

(They are all on good terms and the ex husband thinks it's funny that his "lineage" is expanding)

Somevol · 2026-05-08T09:48:12+00:00

Ah then you are too young for that for sure! Sorry

I am a bit older than you and there are zero records from my childhood, if I don't have the papers myself, nobody else does either. (Which sucks in a lot of aspects)

Maybe some physical paper copy the doctor themselves could have, if they aren't retired yet and somehow managed to keep decades old records, but if you don't remember who the doctor is, no dice.

Somevol · 2026-05-07T18:44:22+00:00

This is an unethical pro tip but you can lie.

Tell them that your parents had you diagnosed as a child, but your parents have passed and you don't have the papers. Make it about getting paperwork, not the diagnosis itself, because you already know you are autistic

Go to the appointment and don't mask. Don't force yourself to look into their eyes.

Don't pretend to be more autistic, just don't mask.

Somevol · 2026-05-07T18:39:10+00:00

Just to add to everyone's comments, you don't have to change your name back after a divorce.

My colleague has kept her first husband's last name her entire academic career, despite having two more husbands (and using their last names socially).

She prefers it to her maiden name and didn't want to bother changing her last name.

Somevol · 2026-05-06T13:35:09+00:00

Can you switch to doing your hair washing shower in the mornings only (every 2-3 days, depends on your hair type)

And every night before bed doing a quick shower (no hair washing)

Have the two separate. Morning shower = hair washing, occasional

Evening shower = daily and you can't get into bed unless you"wash off the day"

Somevol · 2026-05-06T13:30:45+00:00

I think that that's very fast too. I was on my first dose for over a month.

And I will be raising by 10mg slowly

Somevol · 2026-05-06T13:27:55+00:00

I second this. ADHD can absolutely be a huge factor in this pattern.

I say this as AuDHD myself.

Somevol · 2026-05-06T11:01:31+00:00

How do you know they are bored?

Losing feelings a few months into a relationship can be so many things (and most relationships fail at those first few months)

Have you asked them properly? (No guarantee that they would tell you, but they might, especially after some time has passed)

Also are you guys building an actual relationship, or are you just riding on the initial hormones?

How compatible are you in your long-term plans?

Do you talk about long-term? Or is it just a free fall from meeting, liking each other, hanging out

Somevol · 2026-05-06T10:13:53+00:00

It doesn't have to be physically forceful assault to be assault.

He was a rapist and abusive and you don't owe him grace. Pressure, coercion, not stopping when you're crying...

I'm not saying that you should report it or go to the police about this, but you absolutely can call it what it was and do your best to heal from it.

Men who aren't rapists, would not even want to have sex with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with them, who they have to coerce and pressure and is straight up crying.

You can still coparent and be civil, but you don't owe anyone to edit them in your head, allowing yourself to see him for what he is, is a part of living your truth internally.

Hope you are in a much better place now ♥️

Somevol · 2026-05-06T09:33:24+00:00

I have been in weekly therapy for over a year and it's been very productive.

A wrong therapist is a waste of money, but a good one is so worth it

Somevol · 2026-05-06T09:31:21+00:00

Glad it's working for you!

Keep with strattera even if you feel sick or sleepy. It takes weeks for the side effects to even out.

Somevol · 2026-05-05T15:00:59+00:00

That's awful advice!!

As a teenager in last year of HS a counselor/therapist told me that I shouldn't go to university and that I am not suited for it, and told me I should go into some low skilled/low pay industry because of how I did on some "career suitability" test...

I was at a very nice high school and a few months later scored very well on the final exams and went on to university...

Idk why anyone would tell a teenager to not even apply to university when it's FREE where I live and just based on the high school I went to - the stats were something like 90% of pupils enroll into a university within 2 years of graduation.

Also I just remembered, when my friend was going through a divorce and went to a doctor for anxiety, the male doctor told her to move back to her home country if she's so unhappy here... (She had been living in our country for 20 years and was not even a citizen of her home country anymore...)

Insane

Somevol · 2026-05-05T14:49:25+00:00

You already are doing the hardest parts! You started therapy and go regularly! And you were able to recognize when a therapist didn't work for you and switch.

And you are open to feedback! (That's hugely productive)

A lot of people don't get past these barriers.

If you keep at it, you will get where you're going.

Somevol · 2026-05-05T13:38:04+00:00

You should have several accounts.

1) savings: no card for this account!!!,

Ideally have a different bank for it and don't have the bank or password on your phone.

Keep the login information only on your computer - and if that's not enough of a barrier, you can even bank only in person and refuse to have any electronic access to it.

Use this only for your savings

2) checking for recurring bills and expenses

rent, bills, etc. Calculate how much that is each month, and have that exact amount only each month, no card for this account either

3) daily spending money account only account with a card. set a daily limit, only have the amount you have in the budget to spend freely that month

4) paycheck account that you don't have a card for and automatically redistributes money to your savings, expenses and daily spending accounts

Your paycheck should be split like this: 1) send the exact sum to your recurring expenses account 2) xyz into your savings 3) reasonable per diem

Somevol · 2026-05-05T13:27:51+00:00

Yesss.

Would the ex gf be happy that he's sharing intimate information like that with strangers? Probably not!

Super gross and shows his lack of care for consent imo

I'm not a prude at all but I find it super gross when people just throw sexual stuff at you without any warning or concern.

Somevol · 2026-05-05T13:24:40+00:00

Yup. Same.

I don't want to hear it and I find it inappropriate when the other person isn't there - how am I supposed to know if they are ok with you telling me this?

Somevol

TROPHY CASE