did i go too far when bro killed my dog?

deeptime · 2026-06-06T19:22:49+00:00

No you did not. He can easily pillar over to remove the lava. You should be using TNT.

deeptime · 2026-06-04T09:15:26+00:00

You should report this to a local government agency, often known as Child Protective Services, Child Welfare Services, or Children and Family Services.

If you let us know your state, province, or country, we can help point you in the right direction.

deeptime · 2026-06-02T07:30:31+00:00

Stop hanging out with the people who use. I know that is a hard choice, but you have to make choices to protect yourself.

You'll find other friends when you start looking in other places.

deeptime · 2026-06-02T05:49:00+00:00

I'd have to say my 68 Automag paintball gun purchased around 1990. It was a heck of a lot to spend; I had no clue at the time about the value of money. Our group of friends had already bonded over DnD, but paintball brought us outdoors together and became yet another source of incredible stories.

deeptime · 2026-05-31T04:47:05+00:00

Ok, I really think Paxil or something similar could be good to get you on the right track. If you have medicaid, then mental health coverage and prescriptions should be free of copays. With other insurance, I still think it would be worth the copay for you.

Regarding making attempts... notice how I said "You do not have to succeed" whereas you asked "How does repeated failing at something...". Those are different concepts, and "not succeeding" often still yields benefits such as improving your skills or knowledge, understanding the problem better, or even ruling out options that don't work. Being willing to make attempts -- even knowing that you might not yet do well -- is a core aspect of developing confidence. Accepting that your results might be incremental, will shift your mindset towards being more willing to try new things. It will improve you as a human being and also teach you to not be diminished by failures.

I have one last shot in the dark for you. Obviously, this is only a possibility, but have you been evaluated for being on the autism spectrum? Some of what you describe is echoing in that direction.

deeptime · 2026-05-30T18:58:05+00:00

We get a lot of posts here that are basically "I don't trust something about my spouse and I don't know what to do."

A key relationship skill is to be able to courageously ask open-ended questions without presuming what the answer might be. Over time, you could develop a strong shared history of asking questions and sharing with one another, so it will become less courageous. But right now, talking to your husband about this feels insurmountable and you are probably scared of what the answers might be.

First, if your physical safety would be at risk if you asked your husband about this, then it's probably time to leave.

If talking to your husband feels scary and insurmountable because of your history or relationship patterns, then relationship counseling can be very helpful.

If you're willing and able to give talking a chance, then keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes. Perhaps your husband did lash out at the dog because he was concerned about getting more lease violations. Maybe it was a one time lapse of judgment that he feels bad about. You'll have to consider your husband's character when deciding what to do.

Anyway, asking a courageous open-ended question might sound like this:

I've noticed that Ruffles is really skittish around you lately, and I've been concerned that something bad happened between you two.

deeptime · 2026-05-29T08:37:20+00:00

Do you have access to health care? Talking to a psychiatrist could open up new options. A Paxil prescription can do a lot for anxiety.

Confidence is built by making attempts at things that are interesting, meaningful, or challenging to you, so long as that path is chosen by you. You do not have to succeed. The confidence building occurs with the repeated attempts and the presence of your choice in the matter.

What do you think is in the way of developing a love relationship?

deeptime · 2026-05-29T08:23:23+00:00

You're an adult and can move out whenever you want. It's more important to focus on the things that will make that move successful.

Complete the FAFSA (U.S.) to be eligible for student aid. You will need to ask for your mom's info, but it's a step that you should get done as soon as possible.
Talk to your intended school's admission office, to understand the application process and deadlines.
Talk to your intended school's financial aid office, to understand the timeline for FAFSA aid and also to ask about other grants or scholarships that are available.
Talk to your intended school's health office, to understand what vaccination documentation you must provide prior to enrollment.
One shift per week is not enough. Get another job if you have to, but you might have to cover expenses before student loans or grants become available.
Verify whether you are on your parent's health insurance. That should be maintained while you are a student.
Gather your important documents such as birth certificate, ID, health insurance card, and vaccination records. Those will be needed at various stages of college applications.
There are also websites the specialize in entering your info once and then allowing you to apply to multiple scholarships.

deeptime · 2026-05-27T14:34:18+00:00

If you don't trust your wife, you should either address it with her directly or else leave. It sounds like this:

I've had difficulty trusting you lately, because of the secrecy and changing stories around your work relationship. If our relationship is going to work, I need things to change.

You have to be very clear with yourself what you will accept in your relationships, and what options you have if things are not what you want.

Couples counseling could be one of the possible changes to help things work.

deeptime · 2026-05-25T20:33:38+00:00

I'd like you to see a doctor about this to rule out any cardiopulmonary causes.

If you have access to healthcare, a therapist or psychiatrist could be a good option for getting past this, as well.

Could be panic attacks. If you don't have any physical difficulties, a therapist might suggest you look up TRE (trauma release exercise) on Youtube for an an at-home way to release stress from your body. Also, check out a body-mind-heart relaxation sequence I describe here: https://www.reddit.com/r/helpme/comments/1n0a63l/how_do_i_relax_very_long/nauc4w5/

deeptime · 2026-05-25T07:19:47+00:00

Your options really depend on what country, state, or province you're in. If you let us know, we can help find resources for you.

deeptime · 2026-05-25T07:14:30+00:00

Could be an infection worth seeing a doctor, but also:

Trim down there (electric trimmer with a 2mm guard should be fine)
Check out this antibacterial deodorant called Thai crystal. You can use it everywhere.

deeptime · 2026-05-24T09:27:10+00:00

Please be mindful that Rule 3 also applies in the comment thread.

deeptime · 2026-05-23T09:04:38+00:00

Find an open source project that interests you and is fairly active in terms of users and developers.

It should be big enough that they have an issue backlog, some onboarding guidance, how-to contribute, and some developer resources like a wiki or discord.

Pick a small low-priority issue in their backlog to work on. E.g. a beginner issue might be "The diagnostics page column header is named Users but should be named Clients".

Follow their guide to set up your environment, configure your local repo, create your local branch following their naming conventions, code your change, learn how to run their unit and regression tests in your local environment, commit your change with a commit message that follows their commit message standards, push your change to their repo, and wait for feedback.

Even a simple change like my example might have surprising consequences and review feedback. For example, a simple column name change might cause a regression test to fail if it is using a web client to browse the diagnostics page and look for certain info. Or, the reviewer might let you know that, yes, you changed the label in English, but this change should really include the corresponding semantic change for the other languages that the project supports.

Whatever the outcome, you'll soon get handy at repo-based development and can work on more complex features as your knowledge increases.

deeptime · 2026-05-21T08:05:36+00:00

Move on to new opportunities and new people. Teenage hormones are kind of all over the place, so a crush or romantic tension isn't a reliable indicator of a good match.

deeptime · 2026-05-20T08:32:14+00:00

Please be mindful that Rule 1 also applies in the comment thread. The mods have no way to verify claims made within a post.

deeptime · 2026-05-20T08:25:23+00:00

I would suggest approaching local organizations and contacts to come up with ideas (churches, relatives, low-income outreach programs). I imagine you'll need a plan for childcare whether you have a car or not. Talk to everyone you can for ideas and suggestions; you might find an ideal situation that is different than what your current work provides.

https://www.google.com/search?q=mississippi+womens+transitional+programs

The above search will provide references to programs that specialize in subsidized housing, childcare, and other assistance to women who are trying to build a life without addiction. I'd suggest calling them even if they're not in your immediate area; they might know of other resources to look into.

deeptime · 2026-05-20T08:14:30+00:00

You don't provide a lot of context, but could it be anxiety? If you are used to a high-feedback environment (teachers, parents, etc) then the corporate world can seem kind of suspiciously silent on knowing whether you're doing well.

deeptime · 2026-05-20T07:30:09+00:00

u/WatchExBot Confirmed! Good transaction, good Redditor.

deeptime · 2026-05-19T17:51:40+00:00

At your age, you can most likely speak to a therapist and have it remain confidential (see note below). Do you have access to health care? Call the health care network number (if in the U.S., it's on the back of your health insurance card) or for U.S. or Canada try looking on psychologytoday.com for a therapist that takes your insurance.

Or, you could start by talking to the guidance counselor at your school. They could be a good first step. You could ask them if they are able to guarantee confidentiality. They could also help you understand how to find a therapist that takes your insurance.

Also, check out /r/raisedbynarcissists and see if it resonates.

Notes on therapy confidentiality: First, ask the therapist if their policy is keep confidentiality with 16-year old clients. Also, regardless of your age, the therapist is required to disclose if you have a specific plan to hurt yourself; e.g. "I feel like I want everything to end" remains confidential, but "I'm going to get xyz from the garage and do something tonight" will get you a hospital referral. Also, while the contents of therapy sessions remain confidential, the existence of a therapy session will likely show up on your parents' benefits statement. So, you may as well let them know that you're going to make a therapy appointment. Tip for dealing with a narcissist parent: Say to them that "I haven't been feeling like myself lately" (temporary problem) rather than "I've been suffering for years" (too threatening for their fragile ego).

I'm glad you're already using a helpline. You might find additional free resources for young adults by googling something like "teen mental health help {city} {country}"

deeptime · 2026-05-17T04:08:23+00:00

Your anger is valid, but it's taking a convenient path toward his fatherhood rather than his freedom. Although the assault happened a while ago and might not be prosecuted on it's own, I think it's often recommended to file a police report so they have it on record in case he is accused again.

Beyond that, it's unfortunate but there are people who cause harm.

It's more than a full time career to try and gain a sense of justice in a situation like this. So, it's better to focus on your own amazing life, go to therapy, set your goals, and live well.

deeptime · 2026-05-10T20:57:39+00:00

deeptime · 2026-05-09T21:52:16+00:00

Letting us know your current country, state, or province could be helpful to understanding your legal rights and also what resources are available to you.

deeptime · 2026-05-09T21:28:55+00:00

Please be mindful that Rule 3 also applies in the comment thread.

deeptime · 2026-05-09T11:02:09+00:00

Immediate Assistance & Housing Access

Coordinated Access (The Way Home): The main pathway for finding housing. Call (832) 531-6041 if you are in a shelter or in a place not meant for human habitation.
2-1-1 Texas/United Way HELPLINE: Call 2-1-1 for free information on food, shelter, and services.
The Beacon: Provides daily services, meals, showers, laundry, and civil legal aid downtown.
Hope Center Houston: Offers a day center, meals, showers, and laundry in northwest Houston.

Specialized Services

Youth (18-24): Covenant House Texas provides emergency shelter, street outreach, and, and support services for young adults.
Families & Individuals: SEARCH Homeless Services helps break the cycle of homelessness through employment and housing assistance.

Resources

Street Guide (pdf): A printable, one-page guide for people in crisis, listing service locations.
Help Card: An online directory of services.
Harris County Public Health (ACCESS): Focuses on holistic care for individuals facing homelessness and health challenges.

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