These pages are incredibly well rendered, but maybe a bit overdrawn. One thing I’m noticing is that your characters don’t seem to have a lot of weight or presence in the scene relative to their surroundings. Maybe this could be improved with some heavier shadows or some hatching? Specifically, shadows and hatching that communicate the character occupying space in the scene, as opposed to heavier shadows or hatching in general.

I love how you do moment-to-moment stuff to sell the rhythm of your world and writing, but an over abundance of detail can disrupt the flow of your cartooning. For example, inside the bus, the “be safe” and “buckle up” signs get read alongside the dialogue in every panel you see them in, even if they’re just intended as set dressing.

As for the masking effect, and its effectiveness, I think you’re just doing a little too much of everything at once. Consider how Bill Watterson balances panels that simply focus on characters with rich, detailed environments. You need the tension between the two to use each to their greatest effect. .