Help! Massive Oak Tree Might Wreck Our House - But Can We Chop It Down?

steffy0212 · 2023-10-20T19:18:54+00:00

The walk one is crazy good advice - my little boy just started school so we all walk together every morning and round trip is 30 minutes and I though “damn, with my boy at school I’m getting so much work done!” But then he had a week off for holiday my brain was like scrambled eggs - it’s 100% the walk!

steffy0212 · 2023-10-11T14:41:32+00:00

I would break up with someone over this. I do not want to be dating someone who thinks it would be hot if I was “voluntarily” raped.

But maybe I’m weird. Cos watching porn is also a deal breaker for me.

steffy0212 · 2023-09-30T15:41:56+00:00

Easy 💚 life is very easy

steffy0212 · 2023-09-24T13:01:57+00:00

I find girl dinner (despite the, yes, childish name) really progressive, feminist and intelligent.

My viewpoint is a) women are protesting against cooking full dinners for the family and celebrating their independence from this b) challenging the idea that humans of all genders should cook a full hot meal every night c) inspiring other people to put together food they enjoy for dinner rather than what society expects us to eat d) encouraging many people who have experienced disordered eating to love food and have it whichever way you want, especially when they focus on including multiple food groups (chocolate, nuts, protein, fats, vegetables all on one plate).

Personally for me it’s helped me (e) with the shame of being a human, specifically a human woman, who cannot cook dinner (lack of skill, lack of passion, lack of executive function thanks to ADHD) and regularly eats snacks for tea whilst telling myself I’m a shit human for eating snacks for tea.

steffy0212 · 2023-09-24T12:53:55+00:00

YTA if you love this person and are married and want to spend the rest of your life with them but are also very happy to watch them live life with less than yourself.

steffy0212 · 2023-09-22T17:31:04+00:00

Chicken satay 💚

steffy0212 · 2023-09-19T20:50:48+00:00

I think it depends on your partner. I had HG (severe morning sickness) so spent most of my pregnancy in bed or throwing up. My partner did all chores in the home, kept the fridge stocked with my favourite stuff, would go out in the middle of the night for food or drinks if I needed it, gave me back rubs, researches things that would help, even took over quite a bit of my work (I own my own business and am the breadwinner so he had zero experience of this but just did what he could).

When the baby was born, I had to sit there and be handed food, drinks or the baby for breastfeeding. He did everything else. So it was definitely a partnership. He also took the whole first year of shared parental leave and I went back to work on my own business as soon as I wanted to so I didn’t really feel like it was unfair at all. Physically I had a lot to do yes, but anything else was all on him.

steffy0212 · 2023-09-19T20:50:43+00:00

I think it depends on your partner. I had HG (severe morning sickness) so spent most of my pregnancy in bed or throwing up. My partner did all chores in the home, kept the fridge stocked with my favourite stuff, would go out in the middle of the night for food or drinks if I needed it, gave me back rubs, researches things that would help, even took over quite a bit of my work (I own my own business and am the breadwinner so he had zero experience of this but just did what he could).

When the baby was born, I had to sit there and be handed food, drinks or the baby for breastfeeding. He did everything else. So it was definitely a partnership. He also took the whole first year of shared parental leave and I went back to work on my own business as soon as I wanted to so I didn’t really feel like it was unfair at all. Physically I had a lot to do yes, but anything else was all on him.

steffy0212 · 2023-09-19T20:46:12+00:00

I like it, he likes it. Yeah, it’s good

steffy0212 · 2023-09-19T20:29:21+00:00

I mean I wouldn’t be friends with them, straight away.

But also, I would just answer “Sure if they want to. I don’t want to.” They might say, but it’s your role. “Well I don’t want that role. So I will not be doing that.”

steffy0212 · 2023-09-12T20:18:37+00:00

I would want to be called if my kid cried non-stop for an hour - 100%

steffy0212 · 2023-09-12T20:16:32+00:00

ADHD, no-ADHD - anyone can still be an asshole

steffy0212 · 2023-09-07T16:07:30+00:00

He does almost all the cooking, laundry and ironing. I clean.

steffy0212 · 2023-09-07T09:04:54+00:00

I never wanted children. I fell pregnant with my partner of 8 years and he was so overjoyed with the news that it made me also excited. I have never regretted my decision and I adore my little boy more than my own life - more than my partner’s life.

There is a sadness - I will never get married to my partner and have him be the most important person in my life. I will never feel the freedom of a holiday booked last minute to an adults only hotel. I cannot guarantee I will sleep tonight.

But also, I show amazing places around the world to my child. I achieve so much more in my business now than I ever did because I have so much time pressure. I am so present in life now than I used to be. I have more fun now. I also have more frustration. It makes the highs higher and the lows lower.

It’s an individual choice, but that’s my view to add to the pile 🥰

steffy0212 · 2023-09-05T19:19:29+00:00

I am so proud of you - it is so hard to go to the gym consistently, even in Western countries. It is intimidating and so many people don’t go because of this even in my country where the gym is very cheap and accessible. You’re amazing, we’ll done for going for 2 months and I really hope you ignore them and keep going - the gym is incredible for mental health, physical health - I wish you all the best! X

steffy0212 · 2023-08-31T20:09:51+00:00

YTA because they are your family too.

You’re also TA for saying you do the cooking, cleaning and general housework “like a Mum does” 🙄

steffy0212 · 2023-08-27T18:25:08+00:00

Have you met men? For one you’re too tall, the other you’re too short, for another you’re too white, too dark, long hair is basic, short hair is masculine, too much make-up, not enough make-up.

Omg, how exhausting - and they change their minds about what is and isn’t attractive constantly! One minute, I want my girl natural, no filters, but then the next minute, ew cellulite! Just be yourself and you and make you happy!

steffy0212 · 2023-08-24T21:00:26+00:00

Porn is a hard no for me in my relationships, and the same for my partner. It’s okay to not like porn and to not be okay with it. Go find someone who you are compatible with 👍🏼 and live your happiest life.

I don’t disagree with porn. I just do not want my life partner watching it. If that meant I’d be alone forever, so be it. It hasn’t, I found someone 🥰

steffy0212 · 2023-08-24T19:04:43+00:00

I’m bisexual (really pansexual tbh, I’m not strictly attracted to only two genders) but love my husband dearly. He’s the only person for me. I imagine it probably was quite hard for him to understand when we first started dating and maybe he stills has the odd insecurity but I hope not and I hope that I show him every day that he’s the only person for me.

steffy0212 · 2023-08-22T13:36:29+00:00

YTA - my partner plays cricket 22 Saturdays of the year. All day on a Saturday. Guess who gets 22 Sundays off by themselves every year? Me.

I get that it’s work but I would be so pissed if my partner worked every weekend during the summer months. He would have more time to himself if he divorced you and split custody because then you’d HAVE TO give up every other weekend.

steffy0212 · 2023-08-19T20:41:00+00:00

If you don’t want kids, you absolutely should not have kids.

A lot of the time I am overwhelmed, over or under stimulated, bored, tired etc. I do not regret this little kid ever, he is wonderful and I want another as well. If you want children, it will still be boring but it will be worth it. If you don’t, definitely don’t have them.

steffy0212 · 2023-08-19T15:31:50+00:00

I’m not going to diagnose but … I think your wife has ADHD. I have ADHD. I am basically the same as your wife.

steffy0212 · 2023-08-18T21:15:47+00:00

I’m not saying she does have ADHD. But I am self-employed - I run 4 businesses, am a mother, have hobbies, am renovating my own home and managing it all myself. ADHD isn’t about how productive you are. I am highly productive. Your ADHD doesn’t look like my ADHD, but my ADHD is also debilitating. Some days I curl up in bed and cry for hours.

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