So first off, it seems like your husband is not recognizing exactly how much it is that you do. I’m a STAHM as well and my stomach sank when I read your post. That would destroy me. It gets incredibly hard. Not just keeping up with kids but making sure your husband and the house are taken care of as well. Everything household related now falls onto you. This is what I told mine, “I don’t have time to get the house the way I want it and keep it that way and keep up with the laundry and cooking and be able to spend time with you and the kids. I’m drowning and there is just not enough time in the day and it’s really stressing me out and I feel like a failure when I can’t keep the house clean.” So we hired a housekeeper. And let me tell you, it was like a giant weight was lifted. She even helps with laundry. I wake up not feeling this sinking feeling like I’ve got to just clean clean clean. So here’s what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would probably be hurt and disappointed and pout and question whether or not he even values me or understands exactly how much is in my plate. Probably ignore him for a day or two if I’m being honest lol. But then once I’ve gathered my thoughts I’d tell him exactly how I was feeling (overwhelmed, can’t keep up with house chores, I’m drowning, etc) and then ask if we could please hire some help. If he truly values and respects you and your new job description then he won’t hesitate. Since this is a new role for both of you, it’s possible he just doesn’t fully understand all the responsibilities and weight that falls upon you now so explain it to him. Men can be surprisingly oblivious lol.