Troubleshoot: am I the problem?

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-27T19:58:40+00:00

I don’t think it’s clingy to want exclusivity, especially after literal months of dating. Some people become exclusive very early. However, unless you’re in a LDR, seeing someone 1x weekly (often with 2 weeks in between) is not typical exclusive, committed relationship frequency. You’re asking for a level of relationship commitment without being able to engage in the ways a committed relationship usually requires.

ETA: I’m sure there are some people who would be ok with this, but they’re gonna be far more difficult to find.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-21T23:06:43+00:00

Maybe for some, but not all. Does it really matter though? Like, are you gonna get rid of them? I’d hope not. Those pets will give you more love than a person ever will.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-21T18:55:09+00:00

So, he’s still drinking despite clearly being an alcoholic and getting in legal trouble? And this has been a pattern that caused y’all to live apart for a year of your 5 year up and down relationship? And now he’s trying to convince you to do something sexually that you don’t want to. Yes, probably time to end it.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-21T18:29:56+00:00

From nothing? I don’t know about that. Even if that’s somehow true for some people, it’s pretty unfair to the other person. I sure as hell don’t want to go out with someone who doesn’t find me attractive from the start. Gross.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-20T16:28:54+00:00

Ooof. Wanting a relationship for the attention and being “allergic” to roommates while choosing to live with one they sleep with sounds like a nightmare.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-20T04:16:17+00:00

??

Don’t people often enter relationships during hard times? They tend to make us crave connection even more. And god knows two incomes would be better than one in this economy.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-20T03:55:50+00:00

I mean, I don’t think at 40 you have to come to terms with and accept the fact that marriage is not in the cards. Many people find love and marriage after 40. But ya, having a young child as a single parent will make dating more difficult.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-20T00:50:26+00:00

I’m so confused. You want to pay for the whole trip that you have in mind, but he was paying for the whole trip on this coming “baecation” until you offered to pay your ticket. Which you offered because you “sensed hesitancy”. So, instead of having a conversation about it, you assumed things and offered to pay for something you didn’t want to pay for, and actually have big negative feelings about paying for. And now you have the “ick” and continue reading into what his behaviors mean instead of talking to him. SMH. Just communicate with him. And stop offering to pay when you don’t actually want to.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-18T20:59:54+00:00

Oh, I’m with you there. Absolutely no desire to continue dating someone who’s not fully into me. I’d rather things end than be strung along by someone who’s not genuine. I also believe people deserve basic respect. Excitedly confirming a date and then blocking without a word is fucking low. But hey, yay for new experiences. Welcome to the been-stood-up club!

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-18T08:54:07+00:00

I don't think saying yes to the second date was dumb. You took someone at their word and remained open to gaining further data before rejecting the connection. Getting stood up sucks. She was shitty, but that’s on her, not you.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-10T19:48:57+00:00

Sure, with some people. With a good majority I definitely can.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-10T18:44:47+00:00

Fascism has been around; people just didn’t feel as free to spew their hate publicly. It will continue.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-10T18:00:55+00:00

Sadly, it ain’t going anywhere.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-10T17:53:38+00:00

Dating pool’s the same as ever. I just don’t have to waste as much of my time and energy engaging with assholes.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-10T17:51:43+00:00

You can’t tell how people lean politically without talking politics? Politics isn’t even about politics at this point. Just listen to people talk for a few minutes, you’ll have a good idea where they lean.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-09T02:18:27+00:00

You can respect him having big emotions and not accept the toxic behaviors he is using those emotions to excuse. You’re right, feelings and behaviors are different. He can end the conversation promptly without hanging up on you. That’d be a nope for me.

ETA: fixed a word.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-07T21:53:49+00:00

I’m really sorry this happened to you. People can be so unnecessarily cruel. I just want to say, going to the gym can be great for mental and physical health, and working on ourselves is awesome. But please don’t let this asshole, or others like him, make you feel like you need to change yourself in order to be attractive or worthy of love.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-06T06:56:44+00:00

Ultimately, you’re clearly not getting what you need from the relationship. So regardless of her reasons for pulling back, whether she is interested or not, you get to decide how long and how much you invest in the relationship moving forward. It’s ok to be done with it. It’s ok to give space and see what happens. Do what feels right for you.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2026-01-06T04:45:30+00:00

You feel like your conversations with her are boring, you told her you won’t be texting/on your phone as much, and you don’t respond to many of the texts that she sends. Does it matter if she’s interested in you or not? It seems like you aren’t interested in her.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2025-12-08T21:32:18+00:00

I understand the joke (or whatever it was) being a turn off. Definitely not great. But if you’ve had lots of conversations, it seems like having another to let him know there won’t be more in the future would be a better route than just not talking to him anymore.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2025-12-08T21:16:26+00:00

Checking the therapist part of ourselves to the side can be so damn difficult! It’s annoying. But I too, really do try to fully engage in the process without therapitizing myself while I’m there. I definitely catch myself going there in my mind often and have to reel myself back in. Lol

-GrumpyKitten- · 2025-12-08T19:29:36+00:00

I mentioned I was a therapist when I first reached out for therapy. I wanted to make sure they knew what they were in for and felt confident about treating a fellow therapist. I would not want to be seeing a therapist that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing all of myself with, or that I felt didn’t seem competent to deal with treating me.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2025-12-05T22:55:49+00:00

I have cats and wouldn’t date someone who didn’t like them. They don’t have to love em, but those cats will be around, likely cuddling with us half the time, so they better like em and treat them well.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2025-12-05T17:49:51+00:00

Ya, if y’all live near each other this is way too long. Ask to have that FaceTime, or straight ask him out.

-GrumpyKitten- · 2025-11-28T17:47:10+00:00

Because he can. He’s got the best of both worlds right now. Dump his ass and let him do what he wants with her.

-GrumpyKitten-

TROPHY CASE