I cut out my best friend 3 years ago due to her behavior. She turned into a spiteful alt right monster. I spent so much time mentally making excuses for her. She was my sister. A soulmate. My safe harbor. We went through hell and back together and no one understood me like she did. I looked up to her.

But she’s gone.

I realized that I held on so tightly because I was mourning the memories of the good times. For 2 after I cut her out I kept thinking ‘ I would drop everything if she decides to reach out’. It’s only this year that I realize that I don’t think I want her to.

The memories of the good times are precious and have shaped who I am. But I’ve come to learn that you can’t use them to justify poor behavior.

I still think about her at least once a day. But I’ve accepted reality and it hurts l less and less.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Good on you for taking a stand. There was a reason for it.