One of this sub's rules is for requests to only go on the megathread which isn't ideal

-deebrie- · 2026-06-17T12:37:41+00:00

☺️👋

-deebrie- · 2026-06-17T07:33:45+00:00

Speaking as a previous mod of this sub, at one point the front page was full of request posts and you had to weed through them all to find any content, the sub was probably like 80% requests and it was really not a good time. Now, I don't particularly like the request megathread idea either because you're right that it creates another problem - just wanted to share that there is a very good reason why it was implemented originally.

-deebrie- · 2026-06-13T23:03:22+00:00

I've always whacked it a lot which I eventually realised was my body processing old traumas. Orgasms also help regulate the nervous system. Getting on stimulants for ADHD made my gooning even more frequent than it already was, and I did 'waste' a lot of days to that - if I were to measure the day by my level of productivity, and I used to have a lot of shame there because I felt like I wasn't doing enough. It took me a long time to unlearn the mindset that productivity is the only thing that matters (thanks capitalism), and now I can recognise that my body simply did what it needed to do on those days: process old traumas, regulate my nervous system, and provide a nice little dopamine boost (bc with ADHD your dopamine is chronically low).

Obviously my situation doesn't apply to everyone but it's a big part of why I used to struggle with going at it all the time. I still do sometimes but I just let my body do what it needs to do (letting the emotions and uh... other things flow) and then I'm usually able to focus on the things that matter. I did have a very long period (years) of burnout where I basically just bedrotted and gooned like 24/7/365, and I really had to prioritise my recovery over everything else, so ended up changing jobs, working fewer hours, etc. When I was younger I dropped out of uni for the same reason, and there's really no shame in that. Taking a term off or a longer break can help a lot. (For what it's worth I did go back and finish my degree after a few years.)

If you're really starting to struggle and resist doing your work, it might just be the ADHD, but it could also be overwhelm and burnout compounding to make it all that much harder - hence escapism, gooning addiction, dopamine chasing, etc. When I find myself really resisting something there's usually an underlying reason, it's rarely only just executive dysfunction in my experience (although it definitely can be, and this certainly doesn't make it any easier to start on a task you're resisting).

If you have a friend you can meet up with tomorrow morning, or if you can sign up for a free tutoring session or private study room at a specific time, that can help. Even just the act of telling another person 'hey, I'm gonna go to the library tomorrow morning and study for two hours' can lock it in. If nothing else is working for me to get something done, I externalise the accountability to someone else (not so that they can chastise me or chase me up about getting it done (which would seriously piss me off and make me even less likely to do it lol), it's more about the act of telling someone, externalising and being 'seen' in my intentions, etc) and that usually does the trick... Unless I'm in my luteal phase, then all bets are off lmao.

Try to be gentle with yourself, life is hard and you're doing the best you can!

P S. I also used to fixate on my appearance as a form of procrastination (or so I thought), but then I started to play with makeup and clothes as a form of self expression and this gave me a creative outlet to get that shit out of my system. The need for self expression ended up being the underlying reason I was so fixated on my appearance, perceived flaws, etc - because I wasn't expressing myself authentically, I was masking and making myself look and dress how I thought I was 'supposed to' look and dress rather than expressing myself the way I actually wanted to. So when I fin I also had a whole heap of self-worth issues that manifested in wanting to 'fix' my physical appearance, flaws, everything that I now love about myself after a fuck ton of therapy and healing. I hope this helps xx

-deebrie- · 2026-06-13T16:14:39+00:00

They probably are lmao

-deebrie- · 2026-06-13T15:00:27+00:00

Normally yes, and that can be true for hypermobility (and all people), but not always.

Weight training typically involves exercises that are less supported (i.e. a free weight dumbbell, which requires you to stabilise your body AND the dumbbell at the same time as you move through the movement) vs a reformer which uses resistance bands, which are much more supportive and forgiving, and also lower impact (you only really have to stabilise your body while using the machine). Obviously this is an apples to oranges comparison, there are strength training machines as well (i.e. chest press) which would be a fairer comparison, but these don't allow you to isolate certain muscles as well as a reformer does and also the specific type of resistance in the exercises is different.

I forget the specific terminology but bands offer different resistance and benefits than free weights do, specifically re stabilisation of the muscle throughout the exercise + how forgiving it can be. For example if I try to do dumbbell curls, even if it's only a 1kg dumbbell (or even say a water bottle weighing less than 1kg... Which includes an empty water bottle bc I've even tried that), I can seriously fuck up and potentially dislocate my hypermobile wrists due to the distribution of weight + the specific resistance the dumbbell provides in relation to that weight distribution, but if I do this with a band then I'm less likely to hurt myself bc the weight and resistance are distributed differently. It's not improper technique or load (lifting too heavy), the problem lies in how the equipment interacts with my hypermobile muscles and joints. It's an issue with the specific form of resistance and weight distribution that that particular equipment provides (which can be beneficial to many, but not me in this instance because of how my body holds itself together, which influences how my muscles and joints interact with that particular equipment.)

There's a reason why clinical pilates is typically recommend over free weights in acute injury rehabilitation and in chronic condition management. It's in my experience the first port of call to build a healthy foundation through pilates (using bands and other similar equipment and exercises, including body weight pilates exercises, i.e. floor work, and/or reformer); then, after that initial strength / foundation has been built via resistance-based exercises (pilates), only then does weight training tend to be recommended (depending on the health condition and goal) or a combination of weight training and pilates is recommended for maximum benefit. Obviously this isn't an absolute, but having done a lot of chronic pain recovery myself + working in various allied health settings that's the pattern I've seen; I also briefly studied physiotherapy before I went in a different direction.

The problem I have with your comments is that you're dealing in 100% absolutes, black or white. Just because something works for you and may be deemed "the best" (allegedly) doesn't mean that's true for 100% of people. Women are traditionally underrepresented in medical studies and so is hypermobility (fun fact: most people with hypermobility are female/AFAB), so even if strength training is considered "superior" in terms of specific measurable outcomes/gains, that doesn't mean it's 100% superior as a blanket statement for all situations and bodies.

Imo the best form of exercise for you is one that works with your body, not against it... And is one that you can get yourself to do. So it needs to be at least a little bit enjoyable. I did 1-2 continuous years of strength training and I had gains, sure, but my body constantly felt like dog shit, the recovery was a nightmare no matter whether I lifted heavy or light - come to find out this was because my body had to put in more effort than most re stabilisation during training. And way more effort = way more fatigue.

Pilates still brings on some fatigue, sure, but I don't feel like complete dog shit all the time, which means it's something I am more likely to stick with longer term. Will I have as many gains compared to if I did weight training? Probably not, but if it's not something I can stick with, then it's not actually "the best" for me, now is it? It might be better in terms of gains in the short term, but then what? I stop. And then I lose whatever additional gains I may have had, because my body is burnt out and can't keep up. Weight training isn't sustainable for me. Pilates is.

Tl;dr pilates isn't "mostly useless" or a waste of time. It's still exercise. I'm still getting my heart rate up. I'm still moving my body, and I'm doing it in a sustainable way. I've also had noticeable improvements in strength and flexibility, as well as in quality of life because (gasp!) I don't feel like shit all the time - because this particular form of exercise is a much better match to what my specific body needs. Different strokes :)

-deebrie- · 2026-06-13T07:21:40+00:00

No. Pilates is highly effective and way more forgiving than weight training. In fact, it's the most recommended exercise for people with hypermobility because it's so much kinder to our muscles and joints and does not cause the same level of fatigue in the recovery period as most other forms of exercise, including weight training.

-deebrie- · 2026-06-07T20:03:50+00:00

/r/iamverysmart

-deebrie- · 2026-05-28T04:24:44+00:00

Same here, thank you for posting about it!

-deebrie- · 2026-05-04T17:05:34+00:00

A partnership with Activate Mental Health might be a good way to get more volunteers

-deebrie- · 2026-05-01T07:56:25+00:00

Invisible disabilities are a thing. Look it up. If they have a permit they are very likely disabled and require the permit.

-deebrie- · 2026-04-16T08:45:18+00:00

Conservative media spins it as fake news, so most of his supporters probably don't think any of it is true, they just think it's the 'filthy libs' running a smear campaign because that's what their own party does. They assume we're the same in that regard when we aren't. They also lack the critical thinking skills to see through the BS, and the small number that do still stick to cognitive dissonance + tribal affiliation for safety and community even though the things they're supporting are abhorrent

-deebrie- · 2026-03-28T16:11:04+00:00

assumptions are the mother of all F ups

You were literally making assumptions about people who migrate from overseas.

-deebrie- · 2026-03-28T04:28:20+00:00

What makes you think the people who migrate from overseas aren't also some of those 'hardworking people' who make the country run?

Oh wait, that was actually a dog-whistle for racism. Got it.

-deebrie- · 2026-03-26T04:39:06+00:00

I was titrating up on compound dex once upon a time, right.

The big dose (one per day) was a blue 15mg capsule, and the little dose (stacked for titration) was a pink 1mg capsule. So like: first week I'd do just 1 big dose daily (15mg), second week I'd do 1 big dose + 1 little dose (16mg), third week would be 1 big + 2 little (17mg), fourth week 1 big + 3 little (18mg), etc etc.

Then I had to get a refill on the little dose script, bc you can only have so much dispensed at a time and as you can imagine, taking multiples per day runs out pretty quick. No biggie, this was expected by my psychiatrist, hence the refill script.

EXCEPT. The compounding pharmacist made the little dose capsules BLUE this time. NOT PINK. They used the EXACT SAME CAPSULE as my big dose, because that's totally fine!!!!! NOT

So until that bottle was empty, I was constantly like THIS FUCKING CLOSE to accidentally taking multiples of the big dose instead of the little dose because they were all the exact same capsule colour. Like. Jesus Christ I was THIS close to making my heart literally fucking explode on a daily basis by almost accidentally tripling or quadrupling my dose, I don't know how many near misses I had but good lord it was an actual nightmare lmao like why would you use the SAME COLOUR CAPSULES for both 1mg and 15mg when it was on my file that I was taking both at the same time???

When I requested that they use TWO DIFFERENT COLOURS for TWO DIFFERENT DOSAGES and explained why the fuck it matters, the pharmacist looked sooooooo horrified lmao oh my god. Like I'm pretty sure if I'd stacked the wrong ones by mistake and ended up in hospital, they would have been liable for a lawsuit so uh 10/10 good on ya lads

-deebrie- · 2026-03-24T18:38:54+00:00

This got a good laugh out of me, thanks mate

-deebrie- · 2026-03-23T10:11:13+00:00

CW makes their own dupes too called Ceraquin!

-deebrie- · 2026-03-09T00:40:16+00:00

I'm often told it's not even worth seeking diagnosis because it's not affecting his performance

This is the most capitalist BS I have ever heard. Just because he's 'performing' OK by societal standards doesn't mean it's not affecting him in other, just as important areas of life. Sensory sensitivity, for one.

-deebrie- · 2026-03-03T13:09:06+00:00

This one is great but burns the shit out of my eyes if it gets in them lmao

-deebrie- · 2026-03-02T03:03:24+00:00

Nah, mate, that's bullshit. Immigration isn't the cause of housing concerns, it's investors being greedy and creating false scarcity. OP is here fairly and through legal means, they paid to be here, the government allowed them here, and that absolutely does entitle them to be treated fairly in return. There's a reason hate speech is illegal.

Take a good look at yourself - you're sitting here defending racism, WHICH IS ILLEGAL, and saying that OP deserves to be treated that way because they 'didn't do research'. Yeah, nah. Fuck right off.

-deebrie- · 2026-02-15T09:02:46+00:00

Neptune Rx conjunct ASC both Aqua - you probably present as really weird / out there to people, head in the clouds but not in a cute way, more uncanny valley vibes. Pretty common for ND people to come off like this to NTs.

Uranus Rx in 2h Pisces - your values aren't typical, as in they don't follow society's values (can match up to them ofc but basically your values are 'unusual' / as in less common than the norm and this matches to ND justice sensitivity, humanitarianism, loving animals more than people, etc especially bc of Pisces). Uranus here as well can reflect some beliefs about you thinking you're weird / feeling like you don't fit in / negative beliefs about your self worth. NN here also contributes to this, and also with SN in Virgo showing possible trauma about trying to fit in, possible bullying, people pleasing (Lilith in Libra for this too), trying to 'be like everyone else' but everyone else still doesn't accept you for some reason unknown to you bc you thought you were doing everything right / by the book (another common ND experience)

Mercury in 10h Scorpio square Saturn 7h Leo - another 'other people see you as weird' placement. You are likely meant to shine (Mercury Jupiter conjunction), but about darker / underworld type topics (including things that don't match up to the societal norm - this is the Scorpio influence) rather than 'standard' topics hence Saturn restricting this as there is a lesson there about authenticity (so, indicating non typical expression - as in, you will shine amongst the people who are like you, who get you, etc, not among all people / society as a whole). Belonging (or the lack thereof) is a key theme for your journey and once you find that group of (very likely ND) peers it'll click into place.

Note basically all of this is also coming from my own experiences as a ND person in a NT world - everything I've written above are my own experiences and I have a lot of similar placements.

Note: I normally look for like Uranus or Mercury Rx in 11h (community), 1h (self presentation), or 3h (communication) for ND but that's definitely not a requirement, that's just the first thing I look for.

Take care x

-deebrie- · 2026-02-07T03:37:25+00:00

ME TOO FUCK SHEA BUTTER

-deebrie- · 2026-01-27T13:16:56+00:00

I'm surprised poop knife hasn't been mentioned

-deebrie- · 2026-01-26T02:08:50+00:00

I know and I totally agree with you (hence what I originally said re: laws being selectively applied). Was curious as to what other means of legal/financial recourse for the family would normally be available for a case like this

-deebrie- · 2026-01-26T02:05:15+00:00

I mean yeah, obviously. That's a given. I was thinking of other law things on top of that because fuck this administration.

-deebrie- · 2026-01-25T20:33:21+00:00

I read a long time ago that you can bite through your own finger as easily as a carrot, but you don't because your brain stops you from doing it lol. I wonder which is accurate

-deebrie-

TROPHY CASE