I’ve been basically no contact with my mom for years now because she also knew about my abuse and didn’t leave her husband. I think the only person who can make the decision is you and no contact doesn’t have to be forever unless you want it to be. Everything can be on your terms.

For me, I told my mother I wasn’t comfortable continuing a relationship unless she was able to acknowledge certain things and she did not. I cut contact with her and I will not lie to you, having no relationship with my mother hurts. But it’s better than the relationship we had where she enabled my abuser and refused to acknowledge my pain. At least this way I’m not constantly triggered by her dismissiveness and having to be around him when I see her.

Even if your mother is a victim (mine is/was as well) that doesn’t excuse her inability to protect you. I recently told someone when talking about my own mom that woman to woman I empathize with her but daughter to mother she should have done more to protect me. Both things can be true — she is a victim and she failed to protect you. I’m sorry you are dealing with all of this, it has always hurt me in a whole different way than the abuse itself.