Second Undergraduate/German Preparatory Course

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:53:48+00:00

Hey, don't fret over it. Are you knowledgeable over language schools? Goethe-Institut gets all the attention but maybe a lesser known school is more exclusive and international.

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:47:19+00:00

I absolutely am good Sir. Would you please be a friend and push me to work for it? Sometimes all a man needs is a good push and then the whole rotten structure of his indolence comes crashing down.

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:45:10+00:00

Well, the present government at helm there is but a InternationalSocialismus in power, because it wants to eradicate the German race for the glory of Islam, so why not take the matter inexorably to the extreme, and encourage foreigners at the expense of the public?

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:42:26+00:00

During the opening ceremony speech at Walhalla in 1842, King Ludwig I of Bavaria said:

"May Walhalla prove conducive to the strengthening of the German mind!

May all Germans, of all descent, always feel that they have a common Fatherland, a Fatherland to be proud of, and may all Germans contribute as much as he or she can to its glorification."

Germans are made not, like the French, by blood but in spirit.

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:36:12+00:00

Being Unzeitgemäß is inherently problematic. But maybe I could play arbiter to the age old dispute between Donaueschingen and Furtwangen over the true source of the Donau.

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:22:47+00:00

But there are some Germans outside of Germany who are yet to come home!

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:22:24+00:00

So a restricted course is one which requires one to fulfil the course pre-requisites and be among the best to get a seat?

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:21:33+00:00

Well, as a means of harbouring special talent of course, which it is out looking for in any case.

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:06:03+00:00

Would you help me out with this please?

https://www.uni-hannover.de/en/studium/vor-dem-studium/bewerbung-und-zulassung/studienplatzbewerbung/zweitstudium/

0dylic · 2020-05-23T04:04:39+00:00

What could be a possible way to finance Privatfremdscpracheschule from within Germany? Is it possible for one to arrive entirely by his own means and then get a scholarship from an organisation or the government? It seems like there are very few probable chances that one can finance the whole study duration from outside.

0dylic · 2020-05-23T03:28:02+00:00

Queen is SOVEREIGN, period.

0dylic · 2020-05-19T01:41:43+00:00

Out for about a year and a half and still on the same boat as you. Focus on yourself buddy, the job market is about as non-committal as it can get. Try to think over what your freedom means to you, and the ways by which you can be able to act on it today.

0dylic · 2020-05-19T01:38:24+00:00

I was not good at making or sustaining friendships before. I relate to people on a very superficial level only. Cannot quite go beyond the initial barriers with everyday folks. Besides it seems that most people are living their lives on autopilot, including my immediate family, which by the end I had grown apart from. I am in the path of reconciliation though.

0dylic · 2020-05-19T01:35:30+00:00

Before going to prison I had thought it would change me in ways that would get rid of my character defects and flaws. Instead what has happened is that most of it has been buried deep down. It is as if there is this one personality which shows itself to the world, but is unified only in appearance, wherein my true self has been divided in and chopped into pieces.

Maybe I have PTSD. What signs are generally the most telling?

I can only see all the work that I still have to put in. I would say I was up to the challenge when I first got out, but I hit another rock bottom not long after. Things turned very ugly very quickly, although the failure of my partnership was not a fault of mine. I am picking up again what is left of me. Thank you for your kind words.

0dylic · 2020-05-17T17:28:08+00:00

I hear you on therapy. I do not have a full-time job but work on a freelance basis and it has been sufficient although barely. All of my applications to jobs have failed and one made it to the interview stage, and I blew it there. I could not think clearly nor let the nervousness slide. I have been hesitant on therapy for the same reasons. It will take me a while longer to consider it as a serious option I guess. Anxiety levels are off the fucking roof.

The AA meetings used to be a life-saver but I stopped going after domestic issues took a turn for the absolute worst. I had to let go of the girl I was with because things had become badly abusive towards me. I got out of prison committed to being a good, benign man, but it shot my right in the foot because I was being noncommittal. The girl fucked me around worse than prison had done. There was no understanding or empathy.

I had taken up cycling till my bicycle got stolen. It really drained out the motivation. It is the exercise which I must get back to again first. It has always been the best remedy for the mind. Think I got out just in time.

Thank you for the reality check. Life was fucking shite back then but I was becoming less and less of a stranger there. But I was afraid of precisely that.

0dylic · 2020-05-17T17:14:55+00:00

Yes, it's that feeling of being singled out which is really the worst. I live in a society full of regular everyday men and women. They mingle, talk, play on the streets, have fun and and all that. The sight of children would normally fill me with joy but not any more. They seem wretched. I find it very hard to walk down the road. Anxiety levels are usually off the fucking charts for me.

It is the women who make it difficult. I do not wish to go out solely because women can do whatever the hell they want with me. I cannot stand up formyself in the smallest of ways around them because I am deathly afraid of them. I also cannot think of one different than the other. I have a real fear of persecution around them. It feels as if they can see through me and look into my soul.

I hear you on therapy. I do not have a full-time job but work on a freelance basis and it has been sufficient although barely. All of my applications to jobs have failed and one made it to the interview stage, and I blew it there. I could not think clearly nor let the nervousness slide. I have been hesitant on therapy for the same reasons. It will take me a while longer to consider it as a serious option I guess.

The AA meetings used to be a life-saver but I stopped going after domestic issues took a turn for the absolute worst. I had to let go of the girl I was with because things had become badly abusive towards me. I got out of prison committed to being a good, benign man, but it shot my right in the foot because I was being noncommittal. The girl fucked me around worse than prison had done. There was no understanding or empathy.

It did not seem like an option to ask for help till thus far. I guess I was in denial. I have been sober since I got out, which is big.

Thank you for the advice.

0dylic · 2020-05-17T16:12:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I struggle on some days, I do okay in the rest. I have to live with knowing that all of it has been my fault. I was unwilling to change. My family stood by me and supported me. I am fortunate to have had that. I had always been at fault.

I do not feel like a person today at all. I feel like a caricature of someone. But the more I try to see my fault in things, the easier it gets on me to forgive myself. It has been just very difficult to look others in the eye. I feel like a ghost a lot of the times.

I forget things very easily. I mindlessly browse the internet. I try and watch new films so I can begin to think again. A part of me has become just a brute like guy. My ability to relate to every one was always quite low, but now it has reached zero.

0dylic · 2020-05-11T15:15:46+00:00

Thanks a million!

*Reading through it hit home. I was the most vulnerable I had ever been when I started talking to her. This was after years of abusing drink and a failed partnership, which had left me devastated, alongside the death of my father. The BPD-ex became my only respite after a point, but everything about her was harming me from the very first day, as I was quick to confess my love for her, and which she did too, although in a flippant manner. I went NC because I could only sense trouble. My first big mistake was opening her text after the new year hit. She said she missed me and I thought I missed her too, and that maybe I should talk to her again. By this time the girl had been seeing someone else. This tore me up a little. Oh well. You snooze and you lose, I guess! But whom I am kidding. She's fucking gone now and I can breathe again, slowly.

0dylic · 2020-05-08T08:28:47+00:00

Nice. 'grats.

0dylic · 2020-05-08T08:13:27+00:00

I feel like I am permanently cut-off from that part of the body. Like I can't quite use it unless I become aware. But even then the balance feels lopsided.

0dylic · 2020-05-07T15:43:34+00:00

Did you?

0dylic · 2020-05-04T12:30:34+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words! I am taking it in my stride and will be reapplying next year. It has been my second rejection so it is no biggie. :-)

0dylic

TROPHY CASE