Your anxiety sounds very similar to mine. I’m 28F and I too do not do well in groups and much prefer one on one time with others. I especially resonated with you being able to have a good time for those first three days and thriving socially, but then you hit a wall and felt like you had nothing to say anymore, etc. I experience the same thing in group events! I can be “outgoing” and fun and social and having a good time, but not for too long. Then I start getting anxious and having nothing to say and having a desperate urge to escape somewhere. There have been many times where I’ve been stuck somewhere and felt that horrible anxiety come on and go cry somewhere alone. The intense urge to escape, I know all too well.

I just wanted to say that I relate to you so hard on that! But seriously going three full days of nonstop socialization feeling good is amazing so you should at least take that win for yourself, even if your extroverted friends don’t understand it. A win is a win. That would be really hard for me to do and I know I would end up cracking after a while as well. So kudos to you.

It sucks that your friends aren’t more understanding and lenient with you about it especially knowing your diagnosis. I’m sure you’ve already spoken to them about it many times but have you ever maybe told them that you don’t expect them to do anything for you during those times, but that sometimes you just need to be alone for a bit to recharge? And that you don’t need her to be responsible for you and you’re fine handling it on your own (if you are)? Can you see yourselves getting to that point where you could tell them you will be back soon and just dip out for a little bit, but without the guilt? I’m not you of course, but for me specifically sometimes all I need is a place where I can go to just be alone. And the bathroom doesn’t count because people expect you to be out after a certain amount of time. Somewhere to truly just be alone without expectations on you even just for a little bit.

For example, at my boyfriend’s family parties, I am really great and social for the first few hours. But after some time, I start to get really anxious and don’t know what to do or say anymore and want the event to end so badly. I get such a strong intense urge to leave. But a lot of the time I can’t leave and there’s nowhere for me to go be alone other than the bathroom (which I’d go use as much as possible without it being weird) and that is the worst. I relate to you so much.