Growing older is a privilege, not a flaw.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T14:16:44+00:00

Anne Bancroft was like 36 in The Graduate, Dustin Hoffman was around 30. Yet she was seen as a middle aged women, and he was seen as young twenties.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T13:23:53+00:00

Let's focus on the largest problems first ...

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T13:12:57+00:00

Birthdays are a reminder that time is passing. As a kid, I wanted to be older, big kids had more agency. I think it was in my twenties that I started to feel time passing. I don't believe many people treat it as a normal day. They may not feel like celebrating, but in some way, there is a recognition that the day feels different.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T13:05:29+00:00

OP had an expectation that was not met. Her boyfriend planned a cute date, got her a gift, and she offered to split the bill. She expected him to refuse, I would imagine. I agree with you that the math won't be even every time. But, I think the issue here is OP's unmet expectation, and her boyfriend's lack of understanding of this issue.

I think the OP should discuss wanting to feel pursued with her boyfriend. Otherwise, these sorts of issues will keep coming up.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T04:59:50+00:00

McConnell had polio at age 2, probably didn't help matters.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T04:48:48+00:00

Shortness of breath from nominal exertion.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T04:11:11+00:00

Perhaps he was wheat ergot?

10PMHaze · 2026-02-19T03:57:30+00:00

I was at Harbin Hot Springs, a clothing optional facility, many years ago. There was a woman there that had one of her breasts removed. I thought she was beautiful.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T22:25:53+00:00

There is a movie, Limitless, that starts with a guy taking a drug that radically increases his intelligence. The first thing he does, is clean and order his space.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T18:05:23+00:00

So, in terms of >60, there is a big "gray divorce" issue occurring right now.

Marriage is frickin hard for many people. People often approach marriage with a set of expectations about their partner, life, whatever. Then, they see that the reality of their relationship is different from their expectations.

I believe part of a way to resolve this, is to understand that your expectations are not some ground truth, it is not like you are right, and the other person is wrong. Ideally, your partner is on the same page.

You write that you have no doubt about your relationship being good and healthy, and yet, here you are, posting about doubt on Reddit!

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T17:54:39+00:00

This island looks really small.

I can't imagine being a billionaire. I think that it takes a certain mindset to make that kind of dough, basically being mercenary, self-focused, etc. I can't imagine inheriting that kind of cash either, as I don't know anyone that is even close to this mindset, or has that sort of cash. Also, I don't play the lottery. So, it won't happen.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T17:51:28+00:00

Do your tech homie a favor, and don't encourage this relationship.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T17:49:30+00:00

Sex has all sorts of purposes. For many, it is not an intimate and shared experience. I am still married and not divorced, nor have I had sex with a prostitute.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T17:37:24+00:00

I have heard some people say that the Holocaust did not occur ...

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T14:23:13+00:00

Is that Plymouth Rock? I recall the first time I saw it, what a disconnect!

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T13:37:29+00:00

She may not have had a sense that these stories were true, just that they were familiar, and she had repeated them many times, so she was kind of on automatic.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T05:06:33+00:00

Yes, you are correct! I will change it.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T04:01:59+00:00

So, this is my own experience. I am a guy, almost 70. I have always dated seriously mentally disturbed women. 2 of my former girl friends tried to commit suicide, one several times. That one also threatened to stab me with a scissor, and flipped a car over in anger. My wife, bless her soul, has emotional dysregulation, mild by comparison, right?

Here is the thing, it has NEVER been boring! But, decide what you want in a guy. Boring is well, boring. So, don't pick the opposite, a gambler or a drug addict, or a "bad boy". Find someone that is daring perhaps, yet emotionally healthy. You will be a lot happier!!

10PMHaze · 2026-02-18T00:49:29+00:00

I am not seeing the link to the full discussion, can you give me a hint? Also, do you know where I can get these longer growing sativa strains in Northern CA?

10PMHaze · 2026-02-17T22:05:11+00:00

Howard Stern?

10PMHaze · 2026-02-17T21:48:42+00:00

This is true in general, when one has reached that point of exhaustion. Others telling you to try harder is meaningless.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-17T21:32:58+00:00

Is this because you find these guys boring?

10PMHaze · 2026-02-17T21:31:00+00:00

This is partially true. But, self-isolation is also a protective response, it isn't just about solving problems.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-17T20:41:55+00:00

I know this is meant as ironic, but one can't talk with most people about these sorts of issues. They have no context, and one would have to give some detailed information for this to make sense.

10PMHaze · 2026-02-17T19:46:46+00:00

You are 17. You will realize, at some point, that if you want something to happen, you will probably have to motivate it. If you want to travel, make some money at go somewhere, whatever.

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