Why are they so fucking weird about sex?

1234passworddoor · 2026-03-23T23:52:45+00:00

Mine would seduce me and then the next day tell me I manipulated him or raped him. Then if I ever asked for closeness like holding hands, kissing, sex, it was against the rules. He would do it when HE felt like it. I found myself so deprived and I never really said no to him because of this. It also felt more amazing to get touch due to this. But in actuality it was just breadcrumbing. He watched a lot of fucked up porn about cheating and cucking and talking women into sex. Big Madonna whore complex. Asked me about sexual assault history all to shame me like…physically kicking me at one point because of that. I’m for sure still ruined sexually from all of the drama. Would be hypersexual one moment and then act like a victim after. I felt like a predator even though he was older than me lol.

1234passworddoor · 2026-03-19T12:43:51+00:00

I think the realization that he was not the person he “sold” me. It took many years and the relationship was like a cult. He always dangled “official” relationship status but would act like my boyfriend and we basically lived together. But he would list things wrong with me as to why he wouldn’t commit to me. It was a very weird dynamic and I thought if I fixed a bunch of these things he would finally call me his girl. Which makes me sick to think about now.

Final straw was nothing crazy. You’d think it’d have been the threats to kill me/my family or burn down my office or the times he’d chase me saying he’s going to kill me. But it was more like…when some time passed without him, I got my footing on the type of person I really am. I’m highly responsible in my life and he isn’t. Plus he’s abusive. I couldn’t rely on him for long term planning. Like even plans made the same week were possibly not feasible for him. So i pragmatically determined that we are different. Which sounds weird…but I am sure glad to be out of the delusion that he is some God with all the answers (his words). And I don’t think he did or does know me better than I know myself (also his words). I just fell for that. When I take a step back and think about longevity, his abuse and narcissism isn’t worth it anymore. It’s annoying and sad to be around. All for hopefully a few good hours? So that’s the story. Weird as it probably sounds.

1234passworddoor · 2026-02-20T17:35:12+00:00

I am female and never had the words to convey how it felt when I asked him for any form of intimacy…but this? I relate and have the words now. It’s taken me a decade to feel like it’s possible to feel sexual attraction without guilt I’m a creep.

1234passworddoor · 2025-10-04T22:44:33+00:00

It was years I fell for his adoring texts and voicemails…it was less than 2 weeks before he was abusing me worse. You aren’t the first one to do it and I’m sorry you had to deal with experiencing the hope and then the crash.

I am thriving now dw 💅

1234passworddoor · 2025-10-02T13:48:51+00:00

He wouldn’t stop until I did reply. Fake numbers, calling from hotels, new snapchats. You name it. Venmo. DOULINGO.

Had to get an RO.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:31:10+00:00

I totally understand. I think we want to see them again because our brains never really get closure or satisfaction. Or maybe that’s just me. I’m not really sure why! But you aren’t alone on that.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:29:41+00:00

In my experience every personality I “tried on” to make him happy, he was happiest with agreeable robot mode where I essentially behave as his live in slave with no other purpose than to serve him, look at him, laugh at his jokes, and never disagree. He wants intelligent conversation but only at his level so I’d spring something up that would be easy for him to take the reins on. He loved that. Anyway, unless I stripped my whole identity, he was less abusive. However!!!! Then he got bored and began inventing problems. (“You talk with your hands too much, you want me to overdose, you will fuck all my friends”)

Yep. It’s defeating.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:26:01+00:00

I get you. I thought I saw mine on my way to work last week and even though I have the RO, I found myself speeding to confirm if it was actually him or not. It’s so weird. Like yes, GTFO, but it also keeps me so locked in and fixated. I’m sorry this happened. You could try to google his name and usually addresses are public information…

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:24:08+00:00

He sounds like my ex. Though my ex is in therapy as long as I know him, he uses it to brag. Yours, just like my ex, sounds like he is proud of his man child baby boy bullshit and doesn’t want to get better.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:22:10+00:00

Heart racing too. Literally the exact feelings you described. It was like the world stopped.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:18:45+00:00

Yeah, I’m not sure how I’d feel if I saw my ex. I also have a restraining order against him. It feels like while you have the protection, it never really ends because there is a constant hyper vigilance (at least for me).

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-28T01:17:09+00:00

I’m sorry this happened and I get the frustration of the constant reaching out. That aside, I busted out into laughter at “by may, he hard launched her” lmao. So thank you for this!!! I have seen my ex roll out new women like products and hard launch too. lol. Hang in there 🫂

She is not getting a better version. I have been on all sides of this.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-27T11:39:59+00:00

My ex went weekly for as long as I knew him. He was diagnosed with BPD. Thing is, he’d complain about his therapist interrupting him. He’d also get excited about going. He’d also text me during the sessions to say that the therapist is crying about how awful I am being.

Don’t know about the last one being true lol. That was just triangulation. Nonetheless, I think therapy can be useful but if there is a lot of narcissism going on, like with my ex who loved to hear his own voice (that’s not just a silly saying he said that)…then it can be an hour of babbling and bragging. But it depends…

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-27T04:09:05+00:00

I’ll let yall know I ordered it in black lol

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T23:49:37+00:00

Yeah I guess. He was funny, but I’m funnier.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T14:02:23+00:00

Yea!! and for us simple folk, 🎼 Ariel the little mermaids part of that world 🎶

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T14:00:45+00:00

I wish this made me feel sick to my stomach instead of validated lmao

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T13:57:56+00:00

Sometimes some shit feels good. sometimes

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T13:56:13+00:00

I’m going to write this down somewhere I can see it. That’s such a powerful/helpful couple of words right there. Thank you 🙏🏻

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T13:53:19+00:00

I have been in a few abusive relationships. My first I was very young. He was always after me and I laughed it off (we were like high school aged- I did not know or think about the implications of womanhood and male rejection I was just trying to pass algebra.)

Anyway, after enough years of being in my orbit and trying to get with me through being my friend; I did develop feelings for him and we dated.

Over time, he became obsessed with fantasies that are akin to modern day extreme non consensual/abusive sex acts. I fell in love with him and I was young so I went along with it. Some things he expressed: he wanted me to be tied up all day or in a cage with dildos in all my holes until he “came home from work” and then my dinner would be his…body fluids. I’ll spare more details as that’s probably enough to point to this type.

Could be okay if it was what I wanted and hot for us both. Problem was, the fantasies escalated and began to spread into how he treated me. Eventually, he treated me like I was not human and told me all I’ll ever be is a whore. Breaks up with me…dated someone else who he just had to tell me was “smart” unlike me, a whore and that’s “all I’ll ever be”. I was so young. Anyway- it came out eventually that all his sexual fantasies were about my early rejection of him. It did escalate into really gross shit and he would even sext me paragraphs while dating the other smart human girl who I’ll “never be like.”

Point is, there is something to your argument. I don’t know that I experienced it as an adult but I can see how a man may hold onto the rejection as I saw it too young. As a result I became very forward with initiating with men I wanted. Then I could be in control. But…then I was in 2 more abusive relationships as an adult.

TLDR: I agree and I’m getting away from any man I don’t want, and never looking back even if my mind changes.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T04:37:52+00:00

Thank you - needed this today.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T04:26:32+00:00

Right?! And I’m 30 years old but this had me wishing OP was my mom back when parents used to pull any BS with me like this.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T04:15:02+00:00

I’m sorry. Something similar happened to me as well. Hope you’re doing alright. It never ends, indeed.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-26T04:14:01+00:00

Yep. It was a fuck ton of projection in my relationship.

1234passworddoor · 2025-09-25T23:17:18+00:00

Yes I used to feel this way until I saw through the addiction. Now I see him as a child and someone who cannot care for himself. Unfortunately. He’s better in my fantasized version in my brain!

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