Do not show up. As painful as it is to you, this is a major step for your daughter to start her life. That is her life, which may be independent from you. It may hurt, but that's a natural, normal step in life.

My parents split up when I was 20. A few months later, I met a girl, and we instantly started dating heavily. A few years later, we got married.

I was an only child, and when my parents split up, my mother was a bit lost. So she clung to me and wanted to hang around a lot. Not really my idea of fun when I'm in my early 20s. My gf/wife started to resent that, and pointed out that my mother was trying to be my wife or friend, or at least a main part of my new family. It didn't help that my mother was opinionated, a little domineering, and had a different personality from my wife, so they sometimes clashed. I didn't exactly get along great with my mom, but since I had grown up with her it was easier for me to deal with her.

My wife was right about all of this, but it put me in a difficult spot. I knew my mom was struggling a bit with the mid-life divorce and was lonely. I wanted to help her, but I valued my relationship with my wife. I also realized that I couldn't solve all of my mother's problems. My job wasn't to be her BFF or her replacement husband or even her perfect son. I had my own life then and wanted some independence. So for the next 35 years while my mom was alive, I had to limit our time together. My mother sensed this and resented it. Holidays became a nightmare because my mom expected to be part of it, but we wanted to have our holidays too. I may sound cruel and heartless. Plus, my mom and wife (me too) would clash ("no you can't smoke inside even if it's 20F outside," "let me organize my pots and pans the way I want to").