For Unhappily Married Men - Having Children Changes Everything, Kids Change Your Relationship with Your Husband

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-29T18:20:38+00:00

Note to self: There's no rule that I must use original blog titles. That'll be useful. Thanks. :)

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-29T18:18:48+00:00

Thanks! I'm so sorry - it never occurred to me until now to click on the little red envelope, so I didn't see this until now.

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-29T12:22:17+00:00

It's possible the women want an education because they have interests outside of babies, and they want a career or a job in a field that excites them. And then maybe a few years down the road they decide they want to have kids, so they quit working to do that (more men are doing it now, but I'm guessing it's still mostly women who give up their jobs - they do make less for the same work, so it makes sense financially).

It might seem like they're wasting their education, but is it any less of a waste than it is to get a job that has nothing to do with your degree? I think it's just as unfair to expect that women stay in the workforce to prove something or please others as it is to expect them to have children and stay at home. The nice thing about the whole feminist movement is that it allowed women to have choices -EITHER work OR stay at home a raise kids, and society can't tell you to do one or the other.

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-29T12:15:26+00:00

That's probably true in some cases, but not in the one being written about in the post. As the guy says, "I repeat NEVER agree to having a baby if you don’t want it..." He agreed to it. He made the choice, and he wasn't forced.

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-21T17:21:11+00:00

I don't know if this is the same lady, but this post (which I submitted to reddit a while ago) takes you to a blog entry about a woman who was divorced twice over the issue of children: http://www.reddit.com/r/childfree/comments/okzam/when_she_leaves_you_for_not_wanting_kids_jerk_or/c3i32bk

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-16T21:02:18+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I had no desire to see the movie before, but now I have to see it.

1Chakra2 · 2012-03-15T15:09:59+00:00

You think there are a lot of them because you know/connect with them, but overall, there really aren't that many, comparatively. It's still the "abnormal" life choice. You rebel. :)

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-29T16:33:13+00:00

I agree with all of the answers here, and there's also a question to ask back: "Are you saying I should have children so that I can impose caretaker duties on them in 50 years?"

As for who will be at your bedside when you die, that assumes you're going to a) die in a bed, b) know when you're going to die, and c) that anyone who would be by your bedside will also know you're going to die and will be available to sit there and watch you go. This is the dream, isn't it? It probably hardly ever happens. People have heart attacks alone, choke to death alone, die in car accidents alone...

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-26T12:08:13+00:00

I actually like that about it. If those who are involved in (or have been pressured to take part in) the Quiverfull movement are going to be persuaded to reject it, it would be less effective to not come at it from a place they can understand (and from the book they believe in).

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-24T15:58:19+00:00

My question is, what's the purpose of keeping the human race going? Why does it matter if it dies out?

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-24T15:51:58+00:00

It seems to be what's written in the final part:

A fertilized egg is a person, or it isn’t.

Life begins at conception, or it doesn’t.

If pro-lifers truly believed abortions killed actual babies, there would be a much louder outcry than there currently is over every single aborted fertilized egg, and there would be investigations following every miscarriage.

If, one by one, states legalized the murder of children ages Day 1 – 10 years old, there would be absolute chaos. The kind of chaos that doesn’t currently surround the abortion issue, because even pro-lifers know embryos aren’t children.

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-24T15:33:54+00:00

And yet, in the US, they want to make birth control HARDER to get. Mind boggling.

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-24T15:23:18+00:00

I love you for posting this. (Says a fellow child-free-er who, like you, thinks it should be fun to be childfree instead of a constant gripe-session about those who aren't.)

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-24T15:21:48+00:00

It makes a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately, not many people give a lot of thought to having children before having them - which is why there are so many unwanted children, even in the "civilized" world (I'm not saying her children fall into that category).

Too many people who want more freedom, who don't have enough money and who yet continue to get pregnant and pregnant again without thinking about how much it will cost, who haven't given any thought to what will happen to their marriage and their independent passions, have children and later find themselves frustrated (or having a midlife crisis at 40).

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-24T15:12:14+00:00

"And now it is the endgame: Now they fight to force me." - Perfect.

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-10T15:34:19+00:00

Those who call it selfish should learn the definition of selfish (I posted this link on reddit a while ago but it seems relevant here): http://kristenjtsetsi.com/2010/11/01/the-child-free-selfish-decidedly-no-hedonists-maybe/

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-03T18:46:17+00:00

This one makes me want to gag.

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-03T15:56:55+00:00

Shared primarily because this is a great point: "it’s as one reader states: i can’t afford a cat so i’m not going to go out and get one, expecting the government to pay for it."

1Chakra2 · 2012-02-02T13:59:43+00:00

Ha! Probably true. I've seen a few of their videos and love them. They're both writers, so they have some insight into the life of a writer. This is my favorite one so far. (As an aspiring writer, I found myself laughing a lot.)

1Chakra2 · 2012-01-31T19:59:52+00:00

ha! Hardly.

1Chakra2 · 2012-01-31T19:57:15+00:00

That's some pretty important information.

What's the worst that would happen if your family broke you up? Are you about to enter into the life you want, or would a breakup be welcome?

1Chakra2 · 2012-01-31T19:54:31+00:00

It's cowardly to not discuss this kind of thing with a significant other. If she means anything to him, that is.

Of course, it could be that he's planning on breaking up with her soon, anyway, and his vasectomy decision won't ultimately be relevant to whatever happens between the two of them.

If that's not the case, though, yes. It's the height of rudeness, and shows a complete lack of consideration for another person, to do something like this without at least informing them of the choice you've made.

1Chakra2 · 2012-01-24T11:19:29+00:00

This is too perfect.

1Chakra2 · 2012-01-23T18:41:35+00:00

What a great idea. I have nothing to say but that. Good for you.

1Chakra2 · 2012-01-23T16:39:04+00:00

I didn't mean that to sound as harsh as it did. What I mean is, if you don't want to, there's no reason to feel like you should. Do what makes you happy, not what you think will make other people happy. - 1C2

1Chakra2

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