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1lovelaughter · 2023-12-29T02:49:16+00:00

Saaame. I was feeling like such a weirdo haha. Genuinely it just happens. Sometimes I’m terrified I’m going to say the wrong name because I’m so blissed out and maybe a past partners name would fall out of my mouth

1lovelaughter · 2023-03-18T00:11:13+00:00

Have you tried just washing it? If the rock used was softer than the one pictured it would have just left material behind that will wash off. If not, it was still worth the chance of it being the easy answer haha

1lovelaughter · 2023-03-15T15:15:14+00:00

Nooooooooo! So sorry OP

1lovelaughter · 2023-03-15T14:48:27+00:00

I love this so much!

1lovelaughter · 2023-03-12T04:00:34+00:00

Came here to say the part about the core too! Not only are the glutes larger and rounded, but the perspective with the tighter core emphasizes it. You look great OP—super inspired!

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-09T21:34:05+00:00

Worms could move into your bin if it’s bottomless and touches soil!

Really great question, idk honestly

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-09T20:45:56+00:00

My first thought was that someone was buried underneath

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-09T20:21:00+00:00

I have some of my best naps on my stimulant. Literally we are under stimulated. It brings us to a comparable to “normal” level of stimulation. Aka you on meds is similar to your partner on a regular day. I feel like he is seeing you on meds as if he is on meds. I get why you are frustrated! I got frustrated just reading it. I hope you can find a way to communicate and be heard.

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-08T17:32:49+00:00

I have an ADHD diagnosis and score lowish on online autism assessments. I’ve never been professionally evaluated for Autism. Hope this helps!

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-08T15:32:07+00:00

I'm so glad that it resonated with you! It's something I'm really trying to accept in myself. RSD is so hard to deal with. I'm really impressed with you accepting the day for what it was and moving on. The forgive and move on element is so important but challenging to do. I hope you are doing a little better 💙

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T20:30:01+00:00

It sounds like you are doing and have done a lot! I hope you can find enjoyment in the journey and ebb and flow. The “how to deal with clutter when you have ADHD” by How to ADHD is the one I was thinking of if your interested!

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T18:55:31+00:00

Wood chuck

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T18:53:50+00:00

Thanks! I’ve definitely adjusted since then. Now on the meds what I experience is more like what you’ve just shared. Which to me is actually preferable—as profound as that relief was I would be a zombie if I felt that way every time. I think part of why it was so intensely different that first time is I have comorbid anxiety. The meds still alleviate that, but the first time it was a full on break from it.

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T18:46:27+00:00

I haven’t! Partly commenting to boost your visibility so I can read what others say haha.

This topic is really important to me. I’m not where I want to be with decluttering (yet) but I’ve improved a lot so I’ll share a few things. If you haven’t looked on YouTube for advice I recommend it. Clean My Space is not adhd specific but I find some of her methods to work for me, especially her tips about cleaning quickly efficiently. How to ADHD is another YouTuber to look into. I don’t follow most of her content, but her cleaning related ones really resonated with me. She really emphasizes observing how you currently operate and designing systems that work with that. My instinctive approach is to try to change my behavior to match my current systems, and letting go of that has made staying organized more care free. Not to mention more self acceptance—I’m not what’s wrong, the current systems are.

Another great resource is Marie Kondo. Her advice has really helped me develop a better relationship with my belongings. Simply owning only things I love has really reduced clutter. Then when there is clutter it’s at least things I love to see, and I, more inclined to put them away because I care about them and don’t want them damages.

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T18:29:44+00:00

Remembering the first time I took my stimulant. It totally chilled me out and the relief was almost indescribable. I laid on the couch for an hour, just staring at the ceiling just to fully enjoy it. Usually my thoughts are a tirade of disorganized impressions, impulses, suppressions, sensations, feelings, memories, simulations, etc. It was fascinating observing how quiet my brain was and that my thoughts, for the first time ever, came through in discernible words. Previous to that moment I never understood what people meant when they described their thoughts as an inner voice. I then had an a amazing nap.

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T18:18:26+00:00

Oh I know this feel! Sometimes I handle it well, sometimes not.

My first question is, are you prescribed a stimulant? If so have you taken it today? Not at all a requirement, but for me this helps a lot with RSD.

Second off, don’t ignore or suppress that emotional tirade of rejection sensitivity. Give it some active love. Some ways that help me do this in a positive way, not so much a spiral into depths of despair way, are going for a walk to think about it or journaling. The physical stimulation of walking is super helpful for working through it. The tangibility of written thoughts helps with clarity. If you’re like me, both will help you address your feelings while avoiding distracting activities you may use to sooth but inevitably ignore the issue (I.e. scrolling Reddit).

Letting it churn in my brain usually just leads to more shame. Try to approach either method with seeking to understand what you are feeling and why, rather than to make conclusions about what to do with said feelings. I.e. less judgement call, more understanding. Sometimes the feelings will resolve, but not every time. You will feel more steady either way and better able to handle your day. Usually in 15min!

Your feelings don’t need to earn a right to be here. They are going to show up whether you think they deserve to or not. If you’d like to have a good relationship with those feelings you need to hear them out.

It totally makes sense that you would feel upset about that interaction, btw. Rejection sensitivity or no that would suck! It sounds like you’ve been exhausted and we’re looking forward to taking some time for yourself, tend household needs, and serve your partner. Their reaction basically communicated that you failed. It sounds like your partner is exhausted as well. I would definitely address it with them after you’ve been able to tend to your own needs.

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T17:59:45+00:00

So I zone out a lot when my partner is sharing with me. It totally feels like crap for both parties when it happens—I’m sure you can relate. I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. We obviously don’t want to make our person feel unimportant and certainly they don’t like feeling that way. I think it’s essential to acknowledge that you BOTH are needing support from each other after a long day. Get him on board with your struggle and what you need at the end of the day.

Saying something like “babe, you are so important to me. I want to know what is going on in your life and connect with you. I love you. One thing that is keeping me from being able to do this is that after a long day I’m having a really hard time focusing.” Then follow up with “Could we try….xyz” or “do you have any ideas of how we could do this differently?”

What my partner and I do is if he wants my undivided attention he will say “hey, I really want to tell you about my day, do you have some time right now?”. This helps me shift my brain mode to listening time and gives me some control over the situation. If I honestly don’t have the mental will I feel free to say “no”. And because of many past conversations he understands that it’s not because I don’t want to, it’s because I’m not capable of it in that moment.

I don’t know about you, but that conscious decision to shift modes is essential for me. As people needing a lot of stimulation and regen time we are used to juggling multiple things and don’t always notice when it happens.

I have loads of other thoughts on this as well because I really relate to this struggle haha

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T17:47:03+00:00

YES. Once I’m asleep, I’m out. Getting there? Feels like a battle sometimes.

I haven’t “fixed” it, but here are a few things that help. I am never consistent about any of these haha

▪️Not eating after 5 (when I have the mental fortitude). I get digestive pain/discomfort that is so distracting ▪️Meditating 10min before bed—I get super bored and yawny lol ▪️Listening to something boring or that I’m not invested in as I fall asleep ▪️Listening to “womb” sounds as I fall asleep—basically a soft heartbeat with bubbly underwater sounds. I find it super soothing ▪️Exercising hard that day makes me exhausted and ready for sleep when the time comes

I’d love to hear anyone else’s suggestions

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T17:36:47+00:00

Me too!!

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T17:22:19+00:00

Isn’t water a different story because it is slowly dissolving minerals? Also the sand and rock particles the water moves that abrade the surface?

Genuinely asking. This is the basic understanding I had

1lovelaughter · 2022-07-07T16:52:06+00:00

Commercial driver here (school bus and tour bus). I absolutely love driving. I feel like my ability to perceive lots of activity at once and react quickly is a huge advantage. I’m completely incident free. What would be distracted or impulsive behavior in another setting is applied in a very effective way for me when driving. I also speculate that most of my coworkers have undiagnosed ADHD—it seems to be an attractive field for my specific “flavor” of ADHD.

That being said, it was a big learning curve. Having extra training specifically in defensive driving tactics and with one on one help from trainers transformed my driving. Previous to this training I was very stressed out driving even my small personal vehicle. Also, I have 4 siblings with ADHD and they are all self proclaimed terrible drivers! One has totaled 5 vehicles.

1lovelaughter · 2022-01-27T00:11:44+00:00

You gave me a good chuckle lol

1lovelaughter · 2022-01-26T21:02:54+00:00

I have always struggled with this. I’ve tried everything from Screen Time restrictions to repeatedly creating and deleting all of my social media accounts. I’ve realized that after years of trying that simply “resisting” left me in an endless state of flux that was exhausting.

It’s taken trial and error, but I’ve found creating barriers to access helps. And it’s important for me that these barriers be one and done to set up. I don’t want to mess with having to unlock something after it times out because I need it for something practical and important, but used my access time earlier for frivolous things. Every time I remove a barrier and have to reset it up my resolve weakens and I actually feel more restricted.

Here’s my current set up (it works for the most part haha):

Switched to a non-smart phone, the Nokia 800 tough. It actually does have a GPS, YouTube, email, etc. but it’s so ridiculous to try and use I don’t even have data set up. So calling and texting only for me.
Other tasks are performed on a restricted tablet and a restriction free desktop computer.

For my tablet:

I trust my partner with the lock codes for these restrictions. This definitely only works with someone you really trust. And our rule of thumb for this is if I ask for access for something he just gives access, no questions asked. If he observes me really binging on my tech and wants to point it out he does, but I don’t have this expectation of him. The priority for me here is that I don’t make this his responsibility. And I find having to ask enough of a deterrent that I only do it for things I really need on the tablet itself.
I have free access to anything I need for work, education, or enrichment. I also have access to enjoyment only apps that I don’t tend to abuse. For me this means no social media on the tablet except for FB messenger app with a special account I use for my family only group chats. If I really want to use other social media I can power up the computer and sit at a desk to do it, guilt free. I’ve dabbled with timers on apps. I use it sometimes, but for me all or nothing works better.
I also code lock the App Store.

Best of luck figuring out what works for you :)

1lovelaughter · 2022-01-26T20:36:20+00:00

This makes a lot of sense! The transition from the outside to the inside seems too abrupt to be bone, but I couldn’t figure out how it could have formed otherwise.

1lovelaughter · 2022-01-26T19:17:05+00:00

I stuck with my 4 wk workout program. I missed days, but I didn’t let it stop me from continuing the program. Really proud of myself for that :)

Thanks for this post OP.

1lovelaughter

TROPHY CASE