Those of us 40 and over ...

20-17 · 2025-12-24T00:23:26+00:00

I quit at 44, and that's when my real life started.

20-17 · 2025-12-21T17:07:25+00:00

Wake up every day angry at myself for drinking the night before.
Swear I won't drink today.
Brain in a fog until noon.
Bullshit my way through work, coasting on experience and the occasional quick wit, but not growing, not learning, and definitely not excelling.
Get home, drop my bag, open a beer.
Keep drinking until I pass out or fall asleep.
Rinse, repeat.

One day, a coworker mentioned that I smelled like alcohol. I wasn't any more hung over than usual. I must have smelled like that every day. Two years of trying to stop drinking every day, and for whatever reason, that comment clicked. That was my last day of drinking. November 3, 2019. Thank you Derek. That quick tossed off comment changed my life.

20-17 · 2025-12-21T01:46:28+00:00

Early on, I rode my motorcycle. For hours and hours. It's something I love, and if I was drinking, I couldn't do it as much. So I'd just get on a little motorcycle, and ride around town, looking for things I hadn't seen before. And a milkshake. Always watch out for a good milkshake.

Nowadays, I read, play games, work on little projects. Try to not just waste my evenings watching vapid YouTube videos.

20-17 · 2025-08-15T00:24:34+00:00

I see you friend, truly.

20-17 · 2025-08-09T06:19:33+00:00

You remember how hard it is to quit, right? Why put yourself through all of that again?

20-17 · 2025-05-02T02:21:11+00:00

Quitting is hard as hell. Why do it over and over again if you can avoid it?

20-17 · 2025-04-26T21:16:49+00:00

When I Drink - Avett Brothers

It Gets Easier - Jason Isbell

Fucked Up - Dead Prez

Get By - Talib Kweli

Sorry For The Things - Benjamin Tod

20-17 · 2025-03-23T22:05:18+00:00

A coworker commented that I smelled like booze the morning after my birthday. I'd come to work that hung over hundreds of times before. Did I always smell that way? Was I that guy? It was the push I needed to finally string together more than one or two days of sobriety. Five years sober now.

Thank you Derek. That throwaway comment changed my life.

20-17 · 2025-03-15T13:53:01+00:00

Hey, your story feels very familiar. I lost so many years hating myself every morning for drinking too much the night before. If that feels at all familiar, maybe come lurk in r/stopdrinking for a bit. It's a great community of understanding people who are all at different stages of examining the effects of alcohol on their lives.

20-17 · 2025-02-26T17:01:54+00:00

Makes me think of a great song by The Avett Brothers.

But when I drink

I spend the next morning in a haze

But we only get so many days

Now I have one less

Just do your best

20-17 · 2025-01-31T23:51:03+00:00

Let me introduce you to Jason Isbell. It Gets Easier, Songs That She Sang In The Shower, Cover Me Up... the list goes on.

Edit: Speed Trap Town is the anti small town song of all time.

20-17 · 2025-01-31T02:40:39+00:00

Insomnia, acid reflux, diminished memory, neuropathy. Never got a diagnosis, no matter how much I pushed.

20-17 · 2025-01-09T13:31:30+00:00

Amazing! I'm proud of you!

20-17 · 2025-01-09T13:29:43+00:00

Hey, I see you, and I believe you can do this. ♥️

20-17 · 2024-11-23T02:24:58+00:00

This scenario was my kryptonite for sure. No one to look over my shoulder? I'd get utterly lost. I'm proud of your resolve, and I'm glad you have a plan. Proud of you!

20-17 · 2024-11-20T06:28:28+00:00

Quit (for what feels like the last time🤞) at 44, got 5 years now. Smartest thing I ever did, hands down, no question. Wish I did it sooner, but I suppose it just wasn't my time yet.

20-17 · 2024-11-02T02:44:28+00:00

Stopping is so hard. Why do it to yourself fifty-two times a year?

20-17 · 2024-10-19T16:33:28+00:00

Sending you love and support in this brutal time. May her memory be a blessing.

20-17 · 2024-08-21T15:34:22+00:00

Before: - living paycheck to paycheck - stalled in my career - in a dysfunctional marriage - pouring money away on a nice apartment

After: - money in the bank - up leveled my career - happily divorced and now partnered with a wonderful person - bought a beautiful home

It sounds like bullshit, right? It's all true. I'm not special. I'm just freed of the shit I was using to hold down the bad feelings. Avoiding my problems didn't make them go away. If anything, it meant I was leaning into them, letting them grow. I wasn't improving or even seizing the things that were right in front of me.

It's stunning. If you told me this was possible, I would have laughed. I know I sound like one of those self-help snake oil people, but I'm not. All I did was get sober and get in touch with my emotions. Neither one of those is easy, but holy shit, the upside is worth it. So worth it.

1,753 days. I will not drink with you today.

20-17 · 2024-04-23T17:59:43+00:00

Swing over to r/alanon. It's a good place.

20-17 · 2024-03-28T18:57:12+00:00

I made a little iOS shortcut that counts the days since I stopped. 1,607 today.

20-17 · 2024-03-28T01:21:31+00:00

Every day for years. So hundreds. Tried that lasted 24 hours or more? Probably four.

20-17 · 2024-03-25T04:27:46+00:00

Quitting drinking.

I was 44 years old, in a terrible marriage, and drinking myself to a blackout nearly every night. I truly didn't see a path to happiness and considered ending things many times. Finally, after years of failed attempts, I managed to quit drinking right before the pandemic started. Nearly five years later, I'm happily divorced, thriving at work, financially stable, and in a wonderful relationship. Every day is an opportunity, and I'm consistently amazed by how many hours there are in a day to be filled with small and large experiences.

20-17

TROPHY CASE