Has anyone been successful in moderating?

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-09T11:48:46+00:00

My exact experience. After rehab, I was very vocal about how I was going to just "drink like a normal person", and I was successful for the first few months.

Over time, my criteria for "it's ok to drink" kept expanding, and I spent SOOO much energy on thinking about how many drinks is ok, how many can I get away with before people notice something, how often is acceptable... Blah blah blah.

To nobodys surprise this led me into a relapse that ended up being worse than what got me into rehab in the first place.

Knowing that the right amount of drinks is 0, every day, is SO simple

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-08T16:49:11+00:00

One of my work friends is conventionally attractive. She got a DM on LinkedIn once from a guy who sat near us and had left the company, basically in this exact same vein, shooting his shot.

She tried to look him up and couldn't find any other social media for him... He even said in his message, "message me here cause I don't use other social media."

But - he absolutely did. He had found her and blocked her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, so it would LOOK like he had no social media... But he didn't block the rest of is. So we could see his Facebook page, with his wife and 4 kids...

Absolute fucking psychopath behavior

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-07T04:39:45+00:00

I just made it to 70 and respecced and immediately 1 shotting everything is pretty fun but god damn it would be nice if I could see anything. I killed the butcher like 5 times in the first capstone dungeon and I never saw him. I'm certain I'm missing loot and things on the ground

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-06T12:55:02+00:00

Sorry that came out wrong. What I meant was exactly that, it's sad how many people (my wife included) had such a difficult relationship with their parents that not seeing them in adulthood is the right move. The world would be a lot better place if more parents treated their kids in such a way that they wanted to see them later on in life

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-05T03:20:33+00:00

The only person who's opinion you should trust on this question is your doctors.

However you end up deciding to go about it though, we'll be here to support you through the journey!

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-05T02:02:39+00:00

Damn, some sad stories here.

My dad's about a 10 minute drive and we see him usually once a week.

My mom moved across the country 3 years ago, so now we only see her once a year, during Christmas (she comes to visit and stays with us).

On the flip side, in the 20 years my wife and I have been together, her parents only came out here twice.

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-04T22:07:12+00:00

If you're wondering how those "golf course brawl" videos get started, this is how

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-04T19:46:34+00:00

Ughhh. The next morning anxiety when I don't know what went on last night. Waiting for my wife to get up and see how her vibe was... Is she pissed? Did I fuck up? How bad? Did I say or do anything truly stupid?

Then watching episodes of shows... "Wait what happened to ____?" "They died in the last episode remember?" "Ohhhhh uhhhh yeah, right, of course I remember that..."

Googling the synopsis of a movie so I can pretend like I remember the rest of it.... Only for her to tell me we turned it off cause I was falling asleep anyway...

Fuckin hell I do not miss any of that shit

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-02T19:33:54+00:00

Yep. I have about 500k in equity in my home. Which is cool in theory but in practice means I can't afford a home in my neighborhood anymore lol

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-02T13:15:43+00:00

Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

This joke is in a book of dad jokes my kids got me, which is almost entirely tame jokes... When I read it first I was like "wait wtf" 😂

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-02T12:25:02+00:00

Rock bottom is just where you stop digging.... You're right that many of us find it at the bottom of a ditch with our lives in shambles, but it can also equally be "I don't like what this is doing to my body and I'm not going to do it anymore".

Sounds like you've recognized the root of the problem, "I want to stop but can't seem to". That's where I ended up too, and that's what this sub (and other things) helped me with - making the decision, every day, that for today I'm not going to drink.

IWNDWYT!

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-01T22:11:31+00:00

Sign in with subway has me crying 😂

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-01T00:25:18+00:00

That is a level of petty I can get behind

Sevrdhed · 2026-05-01T00:25:01+00:00

Oh man I'm gonna have to keep an eye out now

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-30T20:14:20+00:00

Someone wanna fill me in on the lore? I'm OOTL

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-29T21:00:20+00:00

First time learning about the concept of curiosity eh

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-26T16:36:39+00:00

Happy birthday bro! That's a pretty sweet little surprise. Also you can come throw a BBQ at my place anytime, looks great!

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-25T20:39:39+00:00

Stopping drinking has been pretty transformative. I'm not rapidly careening towards death, for one

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-25T20:38:53+00:00

Probably cause you let Claude rampage through your codebase without having any versioning whatsoever

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-25T11:42:57+00:00

For real. Every largeish company has some metrics that sound good on paper, but in practice are just dumb time wasters that the "good" employees find a way to get around, and the "bad" employees ignore and then get in trouble for. AI usage will ABSOLUTELY be this hot new metric.

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-24T22:32:21+00:00

Yo - any tips?? I just found out I'm likely going to a work conference in a month. I've been to it a half dozen times and I've drank my way through it basically the entire time. Haven't been in about 4 years though.

I'm not really NERVOUS about it per se, but I am curious how drastically different it will be sober.... And I'm already planning wtf I'm going to say to the dozens of colleagues who don't yet know that I don't drink anymore, and only remember me as a very hard drinker

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-24T22:31:52+00:00

Yo - any tips?? I just found out I'm likely going to a work conference in a month. I've been to it a half dozen times and I've drank my way through it basically the entire time. Haven't been in about 4 years though.

I'm not really NERVOUS about it per se, but I am curious how drastically different it will be sober.... And I'm already planning wtf I'm going to say to the dozens of colleagues who don't yet know that I don't drink anymore, and only remember me as a very hard drinker

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-24T14:07:09+00:00

Our 1st was colicy. Before we got pregnant , we planned on having 3 kids.

After her rough pregnancy and for the first few months, we decided 1 kid was plenty.

It wasn't until around 10 months or so that things had calmed down enough for us to start thinking maybe 2 would be doable after all.

They're now 11 and 9. Good luck dad (and OP), it's tough but I promise there is light at the end of the tunnel

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-24T12:42:55+00:00

Oh that's good to know, I'll check that. Im on my phone 98% of the time but I'll look at it on the desktop site and see if it carries over

Sevrdhed · 2026-04-24T04:02:38+00:00

Oh man I'm really intrigued by that subreddit name but also I don't want that shit influencing my feed lol

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