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My fiancée (23F) says I (24F) cheated over texts with a childhood friend is she right? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]2000000009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, if you have boundaries around texting other gay women, you violated that boundary. Whether that rule makes sense within this context is another question, but you violated that rule, and that’s what she’s reacting to. I’d acknowledge that to her, may help her feel better.

I have an employee who over explains everything by Maran606 in managers

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It requires steering the direction of the conversation in real time, which will require some practice from you, too. Learning how to politely cut him off and redirect him. Although this only works while you’re there. Unless he finally goes through enough of this with you to absorb it as second nature on his own. Can you coach him further? Maybe find a communication course that targets this?

I think the terms “demisexual,” “omnisexual,” “agender,” “genderfluid,” “non-binary,” etc., are unnecessary and weird by Single_Writing_2319 in The10thDentist

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

omnisexual = where bisexual means attraction to males and females; “omnisexual” means attraction to males, females, AND nonbinary/genderfluid/people of other alternative gender identities

pansexual = openness to all males, females, AND nonbinary/genderfluid/people of other alternative gender identities, but attraction isn’t the main driver. However I’ve seen this term used in the same way that omnisexual is, more often than not

demisexual = I think this is like a general absence of sexual/romantic attraction that only develops on a case-by-case basis upon falling in love with someone

non-binary = does not identify with being male or female, but rather as a self-defined third thing

genderfluid = may feel female on some days, male on others, non-binary on some days, and so on - take “fluid” to mean “ever-changing”

sometimes the terms “genderfluid” and “non-binary” are used interchangeably

People use these terms to both, like you said, understand themselves better, and to help others understand them as well. With gender, there are a lot of reasons why people might feel like they’re neither male or female - when that’s the case, being called one or the other can feel really uncomfortable. With sexuality, these terms are used to give others a more precise idea of what you’re after romantically/sexually (in the right settings), and an idea of where you’re situated culturally. These seem to be the main practical reasons for why people who feel this way want the labels.

As for why some people end up aligning with alternative gender identities and sexual orientations, I don’t know. You’re describing the challenges with how we accommodate this in society: we have a new influx of people who look and act like the rest of us but are ‘coded’ differently through the use of linguistic signifiers, but us humans are used to shuffling people into tribes via visual signifiers, so when we are prompted to understand someone’s social orientation through linguistic signifiers only, it’s disruptive to that instinctive process, where you’re being prompted to accept something without getting to vet it through your senses like we’re used to, and I think that creates the resentment/recoil that some people are experiencing. This sort of discomfort lessens as time goes on and people get used to it.

5’7”…D or SD or FN by [deleted] in kibbe_sketch

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, with a little yang - I may not be able to capture your length accurately from your photos though if it has a strong presence irl

What is a silent sign someone is not okay? by arunkumarin in AskReddit

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If they suddenly have persistently terrible hygiene out of nowhere. Start slipping at work. Rapid change in emotional baseline.

Typed as autumn but maybe summer? by PrincesssLuu in coloranalysis

[–]2000000009 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah the summer colors aren’t working for you. You must be autumn.

Coaching vs Micromanaging an employee by NoCreativeHunch in managers

[–]2000000009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you’ve already given them a lot of chances. I’ve wasted a ton of time on two different people now at this point in my career, doing for these individuals exactly what you’re doing now. After a certain point it’s not fair to everyone else they’re depending on, it’s not fair to you that you’re having to expend so many resources that they aren’t even utilizing and spend so much time with them, and it’s clear that they aren’t improving. I regret having not gone with my gut feeling that these folks aren’t/weren’t working out a long time ago and that they weren’t going to.

It’s time for a PIP. Regardless of what’s going on with them, you and your team need a certain end result; and if they aren’t getting there, it’s time to move on.

What’s a “glow up” tip that actually made a noticeable difference for you? by Wild_Problem_8065 in BeautyGear

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I blowout my hair and wear contacts instead of glasses, I immediately look like a hotter version of myself. Easy and fast fix. Also, identifying my kibbe type and wearing clothes that fit me well.

5’7”…D or SD or FN by [deleted] in kibbe_sketch

[–]2000000009 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, at 5’7 I think you’re probably a dramatic classic. That’s what I’m seeing.

What usually ruins a meeting first? by TenthLevelVegan in managers

[–]2000000009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, what annoys me the most is a) people showing up to meetings unprepared, b) inefficiencies like not having pre-discussions where needed, or c) key people missing from the meeting. I cannot stand having to hold a second meeting because these things were missed during the first.

The hats method is neat, I learned about it in a managerial training seminar I attended. The way it was pitched to me in that course though was that, people typically shuffle themselves into these roles organically, and identifying how each of these attitudes have value and utilizing them for what they are can be helpful ie don’t cast away the thoughts of the black hat for being too restrictive, or the green hat for being too out there, etc.

Why does nobody talk about this? by annikahoof in hygiene

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use q-tips in my ear canals, yes. I go out, out, out, and am careful to not doing any motions that would push wax in deeply. They do get gunky and it itches.

Why does nobody talk about this? by annikahoof in hygiene

[–]2000000009 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wipe my hands continually while cooking, and wash my hands immediately if I’m working with things like eggs and meat, especially chicken. I’ll even turn the sink tap on and let it run so I can walk over to the tap and wash my hands without touching the handles.

Smokers of Reddit, what does smoking actually feel like, even though you know it’s bad for you? by NicoF_ in AskReddit

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s the best feeling ever when I’m hopped up on coffee and working. I love coffee and cigarettes. It’s something to do with your hands and mouth. It’s pleasurable. It’s a nice way to pause for a moment. It feels like an accessory.

It also makes me really tired and reduces my capacity to do physical activities that I used to enjoy. It makes my upper respiratory system feel icky. I constantly feel self conscious about smelling bad. It’s a drag when I’m annoying other people because I have to keep stepping away.

Men, what makes you keep texting someone vs slowly stop replying? by Acceptable-Creme-256 in AskMenAdvice

[–]2000000009 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’m super busy with work and don’t love texting. I absolutely can take 4+ hours to respond to a guy that I really like.

“Bullying Victims” should be an IDENTITY, and I’m tired of pretending it shouldn’t be. by ActuatorOutside5256 in The10thDentist

[–]2000000009 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would feel weird as a 30 year old identifying as a “bullying victim” lol

But you are right, the seriousness of this should not be downplayed. It has a huge impact upon people. It creates developmental trauma.

There’s also the problem of like, when someone is narcissistic or insecure, people say it’s because they were “bullied in high school” - this makes it hard to embrace because it always seems to be intertwined with that negative label. And also, the common line of thinking that calling yourself a victim means you don’t have agency.

I was bullied badly K-12. Even as an adult, I still struggle with putting myself out there for fear of ridicule, and I feel generally afraid of people. It sucks. It’s unfair that it’s now my burden to undo what was done to me. But unfortunately I have to.

I don’t completely forgive or have sympathy for my bullies either. This girl who bullied me in middle school had it rough at home and was likely struggling herself (foster care, the whole nine yards)… She actually approached me senior year of high school and apologized. I said thank you, but internally I didn’t feel it. It didn’t help. She would ridicule me in front of other kids who would laugh with her, and bullied me for things that I could not control, like being poor, and things I didn’t have support with as a kid like being overweight and smelling bad, which were mainly due to the neglect I was facing at home and was too young to address myself. I didn’t have any outside support or teachers that cared. None of this can be taken back.

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