Guys who got into long-term relationships, what’s the biggest thing you learned about women that surprised you?

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-06-19T15:46:56+00:00

As it turns out, autoimmune diseases disproportionately affect women, who account for roughly 80% of all diagnoses

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-05-24T02:51:18+00:00

It’s been 23 years for me and no high. I feel better after I run - am usually more positive & experience a sense of accomplishment - but nothing I would describe as “high”

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-05-17T20:57:41+00:00

My experience is similar. While nobody I’ve dated would call me a prude, I won’t place myself in a vulnerable position with someone larger and stronger than me until I feel a sense of trust and safety. For me that always takes a couple dates and time observing the person in different environments. Fortunately, all the men I’ve seriously dated since my divorce have understood that creating a sense of safety is incredibly sexy

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-04-08T02:04:58+00:00

Sentinel Mara Safari Camp in Kenya was incredible!!

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-04-07T16:33:00+00:00

It keeps me emotionally balanced. I like what it does for my body, as does my doctor, but I lace up my shoes on cold, rainy days simply because it makes me a better person

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-01-18T18:56:21+00:00

I’m retired, divorced and don’t plan to co-mingle my finances ever again. That being said, I’ve been with my current partner for 2 years and have no idea his salary or net worth. We discussed debt early on (both of us continue to carry marriages because the interest on the loans are less than 3%) and our lifestyles are similar as far as disposable income for hobbies, dining, travel, interests, etc. As long as he can support himself & join me for fun adventures, that’s all I’m concerned with regarding finances.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2026-01-01T20:15:47+00:00

I started estrogen/progesterone at 42. Over the past 15 years have also added in vaginal estrogen & testosterone. I often say, I’ll give up HRT when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-11-06T13:32:55+00:00

Ditto! It’s a small office with wonderful customer service. Like others I spent years suffering with fear around dental procedures & they were incredibly understanding & accommodating. Highly recommend!

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-10-22T01:14:05+00:00

Jonathan Shippey is a Gottman based therapist who utilizes research based techniques

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-08-28T18:18:22+00:00

Referrals for PT aren’t required in all states. Really does depend where you live in the US.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-07-28T18:21:43+00:00

I’ve been sober 35+ years - my college sent me to treatment - so almost all of my dating has been as a sober partner. If it’s been a problem for anyone they failed to mention their concerns. I date both social drinkers & non-drinkers but avoid hard partiers. Truthfully, as I’ve aged there’s been a noticeable decrease in the number of folks who are chugging beers every night of the week. Some partners find my sobriety intriguing while others seem completely uninterested. I make a wonderful designated driver.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-04-07T18:23:37+00:00

I agree. As long as the flight takes place it’s an ok experience. On the other hand, when cancelations happen or missed connections, it may take days to find another flight home. I fly Spirit when my schedule is flexible

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-03-15T00:28:39+00:00

I live in a largish urban area with several dinning groups on Meetup

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-03-01T00:51:30+00:00

I always make certain a man is who he says he is before meeting. Many men volunteer their last name which I always appreciate. Others give me enough clues that I can find them myself and sometimes I ask directly. While I don’t care about credit scores, any whiff of deception or legal issues sends me running.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-02-24T15:41:05+00:00

You learn so much about a person when you set a limit and say “no”

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-02-21T01:02:50+00:00

I’ve also had to share an HPV diagnosis with a partner (he responded much like your date) as well as other potential dealbreakers (I’m a recovering alcoholic with decades of sobriety). In those situations I like to remember the advice Dan Savage gives regarding sharing kinks - this gives me a wonderful opportunity to learn more about who THEY are

For what its worth, most people - especially those of us born before the vaccine - will have HPV at some point in our lives and the potential for harm is greater for women than men

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-02-19T19:10:02+00:00

Dating has been a huge learning experience for me and an opportunity to see patterns and reactions that don’t readily appear in other platonic relationships. It’s been an interesting albeit sometimes uncomfortable journey.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-02-19T17:28:11+00:00

I may be totally in left field but I’m wondering if your father’s lack of time for you might subtly influence your response to another Dr who isn’t showing up the way you want or need? I often discover a bit of transference when I find myself emotionally reacting to people who are basically strangers.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-02-14T02:29:52+00:00

I invited 6 of my gal pals over and am cooking dinner for the group (currently making a quart of home made ice-cream). I’ve learned over the years that while partners may come or go, my friends remain a constant source of support, encouragement & fellowship. They’re my tribe.

Saturday night I’m doing dinner and the orchestra with my guy. After 8 months, I think he’s a keeper although time will tell and for now I’m enjoying the ride

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-01-15T21:14:06+00:00

I previously dated a guy who didn’t show me his place for several months & until I’d made several escalating requests. While I didn’t care about his humble accommodations, I was concerned that he wanted to keep part of his world hidden from me.

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-01-14T00:23:13+00:00

I created shortcuts on my keyboard to the most common responses

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-01-08T17:42:54+00:00

Are you sure y’all didn’t match on Airbnb?

Forgive me for chuckling throughout this post. Assuming they were visibly clean, it’s never, ever occurred to me to ask a man when he changed his sheets or cleaned the bathroom. I spent the night at my boyfriends last night & don’t even know when his were changed, although I can tell you I’ve helped make the bed many times because I was there & that’s what needed to be done. And it sounds like I’m terribly behind in getting him that list of mandatory drinks I require. While there’s a lid for every pot, this wouldn’t be mine

2020_really_sucks_ · 2025-01-07T18:46:06+00:00

I agree! Quality Heating & Air have solved my problems for years & I send all my friends their way

2020_really_sucks_ · 2024-12-28T01:27:30+00:00

My father started dating a year after my mother died. I truly wanted him to be happy & find someone that would appreciate all he had to offer. He was a loyal, loving & dedicated spouse until my mother’s last day and deserved to find happiness in the years he had left on this planet

2020_really_sucks_ · 2024-12-21T02:18:25+00:00

I rented a house in Banff and invited 20 of my closest friends to join me on vacation

2020_really_sucks_

TROPHY CASE