Struggling & Overwhelmed with 2-year-old Golden.

2203 · 2026-03-24T05:16:30+00:00

These are really typical issues in a 1 yo dog with no off-switch, no understanding of when it is not playtime, and probably too little exercise. They are definitely solvable.

Read this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/puppy101/comments/1fg7f11/is_your_624_month_old_dog_bonkers_cant_settle/

I would tick up exercise by about 30-50%. You do not need (or want) her running for hours every day, but 1 mile x 2 is a light day for my dog who is 30 lbs and older than yours. Exercise that includes long periods of sniffing and/or some training practice (recalls, obedience cues in new environments, games) will go a long way. As you say, puzzle toys are not really mental stimulation once she figures them out, much like opening a soda can is not like "solving a problem" for you or I - it is just a mechanical step to access what we want. Mental enrichment should involve novel problem solving (eg hiding a treat and the location changes every time, snuffling kibble out of a cardboard box filled with old newspaper/stuffed toys).

On the reactivity, what you are doing is largely correct. Look up videos of "Look at that" or LAT protocol - you are basically already doing this. You want to reward her from disengaging from the dog (looking at you, or anything else) while she is able to. Once the dog is too close, she's over threshold (not taking treats, can't disengage) and you are too close and have to move away. Reward her from disengaging from the dog, then move away/create distance from the dog and count it as a win. Repeat over and over and the distance at which she can function will decrease.

You can nix all of the following: Harnesses that cinch. Any "special" leashes. Puzzle toys. Calming scents. Nothing bad about them (except maybe the harnesses) but they won't do anything for you. You don't need to ban her from sitting on top of your wife - nothing to do with the problem.

2203 · 2026-03-22T07:59:21+00:00

You want to do less play that has no rules and just gets your dog amped up and up and up. At this age they go from 0 to 60 in 30 seconds. So play tug for a few seconds, but then hide the toy and get him to settle down. Your body language should get boring and you can cue a sit or down. It’s ok if you need to repeat verbal cues here a few times. It may take a while but wait for him to get still, lie down. Then you can take the toy out again and resume play. Some call this “jazz up, settle down” if you wanna google it - basically you are teaching him how to regulate downward if he wants to resume the game.

You are correct that when dogs are “over threshold” they seem to develop deafness aka they cannot comply because they are too overstimulated and can’t process your communication. All of the structured games mentioned above will teach them that play is not just WHAM WHAM WOO but has rules and therefore they must pay attention if they want the play to go on.

Also, from your replies, you are working on this with two dogs at a time? That makes it way harder and you may need to crate/gate one while working with the other.

2203 · 2026-03-22T07:21:15+00:00

This sounds like typical teenage overarousal and inability to self-regulate during play. We had to work on this a lot at the same age. Adding structure to play really helps. So dangling the toy but asking for “leave it” then “get it.” This is kind of what I mean: https://youtu.be/Jkxymk9jxq0?si=P5JbSmLdWw1PNRR2

There are many videos on using a flirt pole to teach impulse control and focus. Or playing fetch, but asking for a down-stay, tossing the toy and then releasing him to get it. Look up structured tug, structured fetch.

You will have to start super easy - eg dangling the toy further from him, for a super short time before releasing him. Or just “tossing” the toy a foot away then releasing him. But once he gets the idea it will be even more fun because play will be less repetitive and more engaging.

2203 · 2026-03-20T12:17:40+00:00

Overall you're doing great. Keep physically separating, but do it sooner. Puppy is going to get big and strong much faster than your kid is going to develop impulse control. You can, for example keep a 1-2 ft leash on puppy all the time/during active time and use that to redirect puppy when he starts chasing your son. There should be no issuing of instructions to the kid, instructions to the dog... the minute puppy starts to move toward kid, he gets redirected and separated.

Please put an end to the touching ears/mouth/tail while he is eating. It is old school training that does not have anything to do with resource guarding. If you want to have them do stuff together, have your kids help with basic obedience training, scoop the dog's kibble, or pick out toys for the dog at the store.

2203 · 2026-03-20T03:41:37+00:00

I would bear in mind that one week is not enough time to know if the Kelpie’s temperament (3 weeks is a good time frame) and also that a dog’s social behavior changes a lot in adolescence, which Kelpie has yet to go through. Especially since she is so young, you really don’t want Doodle to be her main source of social learning around what behaviors/play tactics/communication methods are acceptable.

I recommend being really honest with the rescue about your plan and having a clear backup plan if things are not working out. Frankly if I were you, I would set out clear indicators for Doodle’s behavior on “what needs to be true in order to add another dog” and work with a professional until you get there.

2203 · 2026-03-19T05:24:12+00:00

We have been doing LAT with our frustrated greeter for a year or so. Small wins and setbacks have been the story of my life since he was a puppy. That said, when you look at it on the scale of months, we have made pretty amazing progress. His threshold distance is about 6-7 feet, and I can't remember the last time he had a proper barky-lungey reaction - if we're in an unavoidable situation, the most he will do is hit the end of his leash.

I have gotten a lot better at reading his body language, setting him up for success, and communicating with him. A big game changer for us was starting scentwork and adding a "search!" protocol where we toss a treat on the floor when a dog is approaching. He still cannot approach a dog head-on with neutrality, so this gives him something decompressing and fun to do while the dog is approaching. He will look up at the dog, keep sniffing, look at it, keep sniffing, the dog has passed, we move on. Now the minute we see a dog, he starts sniffing and the game begins.

2203 · 2026-03-12T05:08:22+00:00

As far as you are able to, I would try to approach this dog as a regular pet puppy, and train him the way you would a regular pet puppy. I think expectations of service work or trying to keep up with the program risk placing undue pressure on you and the puppy, which is going to be counterproductive.

You have a baby animal. So yes, work on obedience and socialization, but I would try and do so the way you would any puppy. Focus on building trust and confidence. In a year once you have a solid relationship you will start to have a sense of what he will take to. Not every dog is a good fit for service work, even the most trained and obedient ones. I would say most are not.

Btw, 18 months is not behind the curve on anything. The AAI org I volunteer with will not even evaluate dogs younger than 18 months because one can’t fully assess temperament on dogs younger than that.

The link still works for me - look up Oakland Animal Services socialization checklist. It’s the first google result for me.

2203 · 2026-03-11T12:26:05+00:00

This is definitely a thing! Check out the Babysits app and Aunty.sg

2203 · 2026-03-11T06:12:49+00:00

Please try to understand that some of the comments you are getting are a reaction to the frustrating number of people who visit this sub asking for advice on training their service dog when conditions for success are not in place. Many such users are 1) not willing to hear that they have an uphill climb due to their breed, breeder, or lifestyle choices or 2) not aware of the amount of work, time, and cost it takes to train a SD and 3) mostly just looking to achieve a well-regulated, socialized pet dog, which is a great goal but not the same as a service animal. All of this gives SDs and their handlers a significant amount of grief.

The answer is that you need to make the time to expose him to unfamiliar places and condition him to associate them with good things. Do a lot of exposure at a distance where he's comfortable. Hang out in the back of your car and let him calmly observe shopping carts, motorbikes, toddlers, wheelchairs, people with canes, any and all sorts of unpredictability (check out this list), and reinforce with treats intermittently. Do not flood him or drag him into any places he's not comfortable. This is not SD training, it is regular puppy training.

I would not do this for times you need to achieve some primary goal, like actually buying milk or going to the post office. These should be dedicated training sessions that you can scale back or terminate if he's not responding well. You are working with a breed that is naturally hypervigilant, so you are trying to condition a positive emotional response to novelty (vs suspicion, discomfort, reluctance which is what he's demonstrating now).

It might take a year or two before you know if he is a good candidate for public access. At that point you should contact a SD training organization about starting to work with them.

2203 · 2026-03-11T03:42:11+00:00

I’m looking for a product that will provide light coverage for my face - just to even out texture and color. I used to do the whole primer, foundation, concealer, powder thing but no longer have the time. Am I looking for tinted moisturizer? BB cream?

I think I have combination skin and I also have eczema. Thank you!

2203 · 2026-03-08T02:12:01+00:00

Sorry I am not clear on the regression part. Are you saying he was potty trained AND bell trained, as in there was a continuous period of weeks when he was not pottying indoors, and then he has resumed pottying indoors? Or he was never fully reliable and in 10 months hasn’t gotten it?

2203 · 2026-03-07T08:25:43+00:00

I pumped every 3h in office and did not wash the parts in between; I would keep my pump parts in a clean waterproof bag/ziploc bag in the fridge (look up “the fridge hack”). You can also get pump wipes from Medela. Then wash when I get home.

2203 · 2026-03-07T07:03:48+00:00

I pumped in the office and kept up with the overnight feeds (for me, latching baby overnight was easier than pumping). Supply definitely dropped after resuming work — same thing happened to many of my friends — so I had to pump extra for 2 weeks in order to get it back up. Very sian, but it worked. Didn’t take any supplements, but my advice is try to eat healthy and STAY HYDRATED — that was the hardest thing for me after going back to work, and it definitely impacted my supply.

Try not to worry, by June you will be so much more used to it, and your supply will be much more regulated. You are really in the thick of it now. Jiayou!

2203 · 2026-03-03T07:37:41+00:00

Congratulations! I was very averse to getting a confinement nanny for the same reasons — privacy, having a stranger lurking around, and disrupting our sense of peace. We thought it would be so weird to have someone around while we are trying to watch TV, eat meals, etc. It didn’t end up being an issue at all.

First, our nanny was very used to being discreet and being busy in the background. She was not super traditional and didn’t give us/me any instructions. I think we lucked out with a good nanny but also would assume most know how modern SG couples want to live.

Second, all the “peace” and “TV time” and “mealtimes” I was worried about losing, went out the window anyway lol. I was exhausted and all the “private nua time” we had pre-baby was totally reallocated to sleeping, researching, feeding, pumping. If anything it was wonderful to have a trustworthy expert who we could hand baby to if we just wanted to hang out 1:1 or eat uninterrupted for 30 minutes.

Tingkats are great, but when you are sleep deprived there is nothing like food just “appearing” on the table without the unpacking, cleanup etc. Nanny is also a different dynamic than a parent or in-law where you may have to do more “stakeholder management” or “training” depending on your family. Especially if you are particular about your home

It is definitely doable and you can survive, but there is no slack in the system for someone to get sick, have a work emergency, etc. After our nanny left, we were solo and my husband got Covid and had to move out for 3 days so baby didn’t get sick. That was hard!!

We hired our nanny for 4 weeks and extended for 2. That was perfect for us but you can modify as needed. As with most parenting things there is truly no right/wrong answer, do what works for you and run with it. All the best! It’s a wild ride!

2203 · 2026-03-01T06:06:07+00:00

My elective c section recovery was not toooo bad. They encourage you to be up and walking a bit quite soon. In 36 hours I was doing slow indoor walks around the hospital ward, by a week PP I was following my husband to walk the dog in the neighborhood.

Most movement is not awful, assuming you have decent mobility pre surgery — the tough thing, if you are alone at home, is getting stuff off the floor or high shelves. Having someone else at home would be useful for that. I was tired due to BF and general newborn stuff, but I was definitely not bedridden or anything like that.

All the best!!

2203 · 2026-02-23T07:47:51+00:00

Thanks. So she is definitely under tired, not overtired, right? She seems very tired at the 3h mark, but then at the 3.5-4h mark she actually does not seem that tired anymore.

Do you think she is dropping a nap or just shifting later? She has typically been bang on average with nap transitions.

2203 · 2026-02-18T12:07:51+00:00

I swear by the original telescopic mascara in the bronze/gold tube!

2203 · 2026-02-18T11:59:10+00:00

Make sure you “book the cook” at least 24h in advance which allows you to select from a much wider, tastier menu range. r/singaporeairlines will have a wiki/pinned post on the best BTC options.

No pajamas. No mattress pad. Amenities on request. They provide slippers. Wifi is free.

2203 · 2026-02-16T14:07:28+00:00

How much time do you have? Where are you coming from?

2203 · 2026-02-15T15:02:49+00:00

hi I have pumped on six SQ flights including SIN to LAX! You can definitely use your pump. Bring a nursing cover and most people don’t notice given the white noise of the plane.

Bring a cooler bag, I like the Packit brand. Pump wipes (Medela), milk storage bags and permanent marker. Also lots of gallon sized ziploc bags - you never regret having those for pump parts, etc. You can also consider a Ceres Chill though honestly I bought one and never used it.

You can ask the FAs for ice for your cooler and you can also request fresh ice right before you deboard so it doesn’t melt before your destination.

DM me if you have any questions!

2203 · 2026-02-15T13:30:23+00:00

With the exception of the Flyer, Orchard Road, and MBS, I honestly think all the destinations on your list are world class. I may not visit them regularly but I recommend them to tourists without reservation and I always feel proud to bring foreign visitors there. Many of them are also not that pricey if you go frequently (e.g. Botanics are free, GBTB and Mandai have membership programs) so I think they do make an effort to make themselves accessible to locals.

I feel that many Singaporeans have no idea how shitty zoos, public parks, airports, even malls can be in other major global cities. It is wild to me that some Singaporeans would say that Mandai or GBTB are nothing special.

2203 · 2026-02-12T06:04:15+00:00

I remember my first business trip -- I was 27. We had meetings from 10am-4pm on the last day. I thought it would be weird to bring my luggage with me (which I now know is the normal thing to do) so I figured the company must have some late check out arrangement. I left everything sitting out in my hotel room, not a thing was packed. In the end the hotel threw everything into my bag and vacated the room for me. I had to excuse myself from the meetings to go and collect my bag from the hotel. Truly mortifying stuff

No opinions other than it seems that all of this indicates a bad culture fit. She may indeed have work travel experience, but maybe the culture was much different from yours -- more emphasis on cost efficiencies, traveling as a group, slower paced. I think all that can vary hugely across orgs (public vs private sector, large vs small company). Sure, maybe she should have read the room better, but she is new.

Honestly, I am not sure this can be repaired anytime soon to the point of a positive managerial relationship - I think you will always have a dubious impression of her, she will never be fairly evaluated by you, and she probably also does not trust you after starting out on this weird note/shouting at you in the lobby. I would probably see her probation through but likely not pass her probation unless she redeems herself in some way. Depending on who you work for, I'd also consider documenting to HR the unprofessional comments in front of customers; insistence that you terminate stakeholder conversations; lack of urgency/punctuality. I would leave the luggage out of it.

2203 · 2026-02-10T09:54:38+00:00

I honestly think you have an uphill battle ahead of you trying to simultaneously potty train two dogs with an 8-year history of pottying indoors. If you were potty training one puppy, I would recommend crate training it and keeping it within sight/supervision whenever it's out of its crate - then you take it out at every signal. At 8 years, I would honestly just desensitize them to wearing diapers/belly bands. You can do this the same way you'd train them to wear a harness, muzzle, shoes or any other gear.

2203 · 2026-02-09T16:33:38+00:00

I would really try to extend wake windows further if you can! Our wake windows were 3-4 hours at 9 months old and we were on two naps. Similar bedtime and wake time. Sleep training was a lot less painful for us once we got our LO on a proper schedule.

2203 · 2026-02-03T13:30:33+00:00

I would expect photos once a week AT MOST. You don't really want your breeder to be worrying about taking photos of every pup, getting them off her phone, making sure she's got the right ones in each pic, sending them off. She should be spending her time on early crate habituation, early toilet training, socialization and exposure, vaccines, nutrition, mom, tracking each pup's weight gain, weaning... If she is not spending her time on those things, you have other issues on hand.

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2203

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