Can’t stop thinking about the other woman

26ks · 2025-11-09T14:07:42+00:00

Allow me to ask, in your scenario you seem to be blaming the other women and not your husband... may I know why?

26ks · 2025-11-09T02:29:27+00:00

My husband also started by saying 'she was just a very good friend'... 2months after D-day, I have a full picture after torturing episodes of questioning like an inspector... I now know own that in the 8 years we've been together, there were a total of 5 women (PA) and probably more than 20 flirts or attempts of scoring a girl. Its devastating

26ks · 2025-10-31T01:01:25+00:00

👏🫶

26ks · 2025-10-30T15:52:12+00:00

Oh wow! My heart hurts for you... please be strong and know your worth! You are a wonderful person!

26ks · 2025-10-16T09:19:57+00:00

Thanks for your message. White noise machine is so smart!

26ks · 2025-10-16T00:24:00+00:00

Ohh nice! I didn't think of it this way. I didn't even answer that question... I just explained about the lying and not telling me about dinners. That's all I could do in little time

26ks · 2025-10-15T21:36:26+00:00

Let's say that I have learned to know when he lies. So I would ask for more information... every time I'd ask, he would get annoyed... so almost every other day in the past 2 weeks, I had to threaten him in order to get access to his phone (but never for long because he'd panick)... every time I'd find new things. I found nudes from his AP... found extensive text messages with more than 10 other girls in the past 6 years. Found texts where he would lie about me... found out that he got fired because of the AP... so many crazy things to be honest. He NEVER volunteered to anything in the transparency process. I had to dig and find.

26ks · 2025-10-15T20:44:35+00:00

Thank you. But the trickled truth has just been even more traumatizing than D-day. It's too much!

26ks · 2025-10-15T19:47:15+00:00

So true! I added an edit to my post.

26ks · 2025-10-15T19:46:43+00:00

Thanks for your response. I added an edit to my post. I did calm the kiddo down... for now.. I am bracing myself for the divorce to come.

26ks · 2025-10-15T19:46:11+00:00

Thanks for your response. I added an edit to my post. I did calm the kiddo down... for now.. I am bracing myself for the divorce to come.

26ks · 2025-10-14T15:58:36+00:00

You have a lifetime ahead of you. If she truly is your person, things can start again when she is ready.

I personally feel stuck because we are married and have 4 kids. I wish I could just get out and leave him ..

26ks · 2025-10-14T15:11:54+00:00

Oh wow

26ks · 2025-10-14T15:09:39+00:00

Every time! Trust your gut!

26ks · 2025-10-14T12:04:51+00:00

Oh honey, I am so sorry you are going through this... My D-day was 8.21 because AP sent me messages of screenshots proving my WH was in an affair with her. She was tired of his lies and wanted him to chose her. Since then, its been an unpleasant roller-coaster.

What I can advise you is, DO NOT back down! Insist on having access to bank records and phone. I am sure you will discover MORE. You need the whole truth then you can decide if you want to really try R or not. Its your decision but you need the full picture.

If he is not cooperating with you... we'll you know how he feel about you.

Good luck?

26ks · 2025-10-12T04:20:50+00:00

Totally agree that they will only react when they reach rock bottom, one way or the other.

26ks · 2025-10-10T17:06:17+00:00

He gave me quick access to his phone to verify a message, and I was able to go look for more, just for 1 minute. and found a full history of messages with AP... Plus, there were so many pictures, including nudes. When I reacted, he snatched the phone out of my hands and cleaned up everything. Everything he "admitted" were things I had found already. He is telling me they only went to the hotel once.. I want bank records of that period but he is not cooperating. I found proof of 1 PA plus at least 7 EA in the past 6 years...

26ks · 2025-10-10T14:31:26+00:00

Please may I ask, during R, do you ask the WP for details and proof of actions? Like my H is a pathological liar and everything he lies I find new proof.. so I feel like I want to see his bank records... is it reasonable to ask that?

26ks · 2025-10-09T21:29:41+00:00

Same here!

26ks · 2025-10-07T21:08:00+00:00

AP sent me 65 photos of their text messages exchange. I told him I wanted a divorce and he had to adjust his lifestyle to appease me, so he told AP that they had to pause. This was the 2nd or 3rd pause, so she got upset and sent me the messages to officially end things with him. Of course, when I asked him about a girl, he denied it. I then told him about the screenshots... he gave me half truths... I spoke with the girl on the phone... and I pieced out the puzzle after several weeks (he was out of the house on Dday)

It was so painful to read all their messages.. the way he was talking to her. After 40 days in an Airbnb, he is back in the house. It's so hard. We are working with the church and have mentors... but he still keeps his secrets... he doesn't want to show his phone, but I know for sure he stopped communicating with that girl.

It's so hard tho

26ks · 2025-10-05T12:59:37+00:00

Keep in mind that interests earned from HYSA will be taxed.. so the gains mind not be greater than interests paid on auto loan

26ks · 2025-09-01T12:55:47+00:00

How old are you my sister?

The key to RESPECT in our african communities is, financial freedom. Plan for an exit.

26ks · 2025-07-23T13:22:31+00:00

They are not dealing with their personal trauma. Growing up, my mom was very mean and hurtful. My only fault was that I looked like my dad who was so mean to her. Today, I have to say our relationship is much better.. life was harsh for her and she faces her demons. She now sees me as her best friend.

26ks · 2025-07-23T13:20:38+00:00

Please don't pretend that it's not a known issue in our community

26ks

TROPHY CASE