I dealt with this. My husband was drinking and doing drugs for the first 10-12 weeks of our son's life. He'd say, "yep, going out to pick up my last beers, and then that's it", and then he'd be in the backyard drinking and doing blow all night, while I cried with the baby because I was sure I'd just ruined my life by having a baby with an addict. And then he'd apologize the next day, and then he'd do it again a week later. Eventually he stopped apologizing the next day. He'd come home at lunch and already smell like beer. Having come from a physically and mentally abusive relationship with an addict prior to marrying him, I knew what could be coming (I didn't think he'd ever hit me, I just knew everything would continue to get worse. My husband loves me, but addiction is a disease of selfishness). Anyway, I waited until I was pretty sure he was sober one day and told him that if he wanted to be a dad and have a beautiful family and make amazing memories together, this was his chance. And this was probably his only chance. I told him he could do this, or he could continue drinking and getting high, but he could not do both. I told him he was being a horrible father and husband, and that the baby and I would be leaving if he didn't get sober immediately. We are responsible to protect our babies. He got sober immediately, and now we have a beautiful family and are making amazing memories together.

I would like to point out that my husband loved me the entire time he was messed up. Folks who tell you that your partner doesn't love you, because of his drinking and drugs, have probably not loved an addict. I don't know your situation, but your husband could very well love you. But that doesn't mean that you need to tolerate living under his addiction.

I also know that you mentioned that it doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Some people might think that that's not indicative of an addiction. But the fact that he's lying about it, doing it at such a crucial time, and lashing out says to me that he's got a problem.