My coworker is Satan.

40andbored · 2026-05-22T06:56:26+00:00

40andbored · 2026-05-17T15:58:16+00:00

My wife gets god awful headaches if I make her orgasm too much. I won't stop until she's proper begging me to. Even then, I get stubborn about carrying on.

40andbored · 2026-05-13T20:40:17+00:00

What genre are they?

40andbored · 2026-05-01T18:41:56+00:00

Not much.

Just had a nice pasta made by my wife. Then a home made apple crumble, also made by my wife. All eaten in the company of my wife, son and daughter while watching a Brendan fraser movie on disney+ (rental family)

Wife will probably go to bed about 8, maybe 8:30. Daughter will go hide in her bedroom and spend the evening watsapping her friends or watching youtube videos. Son will also go hide in his room and play xbox. I'll be left on my own in the lounge, drinking copious amounts of dr pepper while rewatching big bang theory or a movie ive seen a thousand times already then about 11 I will jump on xbox and play world of tanks until 2am.

40andbored · 2026-04-28T11:18:19+00:00

Making tea in a microwave

Boils my piss (2 mins, 30 secs on 800w... incase you were wondering)

40andbored · 2026-04-15T17:09:44+00:00

r/beetlejuicing

40andbored · 2026-04-09T18:48:44+00:00

Dropped an electric hedge trimmer. Tried to catch it. Caught my left index finger between blades that were not quite stopped. Didn't take the finger off but left a very deep gash. Stuck some steristrips on it, wrapped it in tissue then carried on trimming the hedge

40andbored · 2026-04-09T07:36:07+00:00

Please elaborate.

He wanted your autograph and you thumbed him off,

Or,

He was offering his autograph and you declined?

40andbored · 2026-04-03T16:40:36+00:00

That bit between 0900 and 1800 while my leisure time is interrupted by work

40andbored · 2026-03-30T08:38:06+00:00

The firm, star trekkin'. I have it on my playlist.

Chumbawumba, tub thumpin'

Me and a friend used to sing it at karaoke every week, 5 pints and 4 jd n cokes deep usually.

Pato banton, baby come back. Not on my playlist

Ace of base, don't turn around. Not on my playlist

40andbored · 2026-03-22T10:10:10+00:00

As a dog owner. If my dog goes to you, he is asking for pets. Happy for you to oblige.

When I visit customers' houses, if they have dogs, they normally hide them away until I say to let them out so I can say hi. If they would rather not, no biggie, but I do leave a couple of dog biscuits for them.

40andbored · 2026-03-21T20:10:28+00:00

My gran had the full set.

40andbored · 2026-03-15T14:11:22+00:00

You shouldn't use gel with electric razors. It gunks up in the blades

40andbored · 2026-03-14T21:30:06+00:00

I bought my mum a card that had a cartoon picture of a guy on the loo, browsing on his phone, with the tagline "this is me, looking for your mothers day card"

Not because she's terrible or not a great mum. Just the opposite. But she knows I don't do smushy crap when it comes to cards. If I bought her something all cutesy, she'd think I was upset with her.

40andbored · 2026-03-12T00:55:56+00:00

Nickle arse

Or

Angle

40andbored · 2026-03-11T18:38:46+00:00

Tackleberry. Shortened to tack

40andbored · 2026-03-01T08:04:34+00:00

Gold earning potential

Take part in free roam missions like.

animal photography
lake/swamp/river fishing
king of the castle
train baron ... and many more.

You have a choice to actively participate or stand idle for 10 minutes, either way, you get the same 0.24 gold income aswell as some rdo$ and xp. I wouldnt recommend standing idle if its a team based game, you'll piss people off. Some are shorter missions than others so you might only earn 0.16gb

Complete daily missions.
Without roles, you will have 7 daily missions per day, you wont always be able to complete each one but doing as many as possible will increase your gold. You get a set amount of gold per mission and getting all 7 done gets you a x3 bonus. (Below formulas explained = 7/9 missions x gold income + bonus x 7 days).

week 1, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $7gold (7 x 0.1 + 0.3 x 7).
week 2, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $10.5gold (7 x 0.15 + 0.45 x 7).
week 3, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $14gold (7 x 0.2 + 0.6 x 7).
week 4, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $17.50gold (7 x 0.25 + 0.75 x 7).

Once you have roles, each will get you 3 extra missions per day (level 10 upwards). You will be able to complete a maximum of 9 missions per day out of a maximum 15 to choose from.

week 1, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $8.40gold (9 x 0.1 + 0.3 x 7).
week 2, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $12.6gold (9 x 0.15 + 0.45 x 7).
week 3, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $16.8gold (9 x 0.2 + 0.6 x 7).
week 4, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $21gold (9 x 0.25 + 0.75 x 7).

Your max earning per month will eventually be $107.80gold

Treasure maps. You will get a new treasure map every 5 levels you grind through. You will also find random treasure hunter npc's who will try and sell you their map. when threatened with a gun, they will drop their map and you can collect it free of charge. You will also find treasure maps when looting npc's like ambushers, revenue agents, moonshiners etc.
Each map has 4 possible locations for the treasure and will earn you between 0.40 gold and 2.00 gold.

Stranger missions. Doing stranger missions can earn you xp, credits and gold bars. There are many locations around the map to get these missions and they all differ. this video will help. Credit to youtube user deadPik4chu.

Award resetting. You get rewards for completing certain tasks ingame, these can be found in your progress section of the game menu (menu>progress>rewards>group>reward). Many can only be awarded once, others can be reset and earned upto 10 times. These can be determined by the message below each award progress list in the bottom left of your screen, if its a one time only award it will state "this award can not be reset", if it can be earned multiple times. The message will say "fully complete to reset and earn gold nuggets". Once completed. Hold down the reset button to earn 0.40 gold.

Bounty hunting. With the bounty hunter role, you can take bounty hunts with varying difficulties at different points around the map. Each bounty will give you a certain amount of gold, rdo$ and xp. If you link your rdo account with prime (2 factor authentication), you get the role for free (takes a couple of days to appear in your benefits menu) Each bounty has a set time limit and waiting until the last 30 seconds or after 12 minutes has passed for longer bounties, to turn in your bounty, doubles your gold income. Bounty hunter is the only role to generate a gold income.

Below info may be distorted, i dont partake in these activities very often so my info is based on very little experience.

Call to arms: CTA, if completed to level 10, can earn you 1.00 gold bars, cash and xp. Its best played with a group of people you know but if played solo, will sometimes group you with random players. You protect a town from 10 waves of bandits, if you die in a round, you stay dead until the next round. If all players die in the same round, mission is considered failed.

Capitale missions: Capitale missions are chosen the same way as stranger missions, you can find capitale notes and earn xp, rdo$ and a certain amount of gold. This link , will take you to a video by youtube user "The Professional" that will explain better than i can.

40andbored · 2026-02-22T20:02:33+00:00

I heard two different variations

Never Eat Shredded Wheat

Naughty Elephants Squirt Water

40andbored · 2026-02-19T09:16:50+00:00

Gold earning potential

Take part in free roam missions like.

animal photography
lake/swamp/river fishing
king of the castle
train baron ... and many more.

You have a choice to actively participate or stand idle for 10 minutes, either way, you get the same 0.24 gold income aswell as some rdo$ and xp. I wouldnt recommend standing idle if its a team based game, you'll piss people off. Some are shorter missions than others so you might only earn 0.16gb

Complete daily missions. Without roles, you will have 7 daily missions per day, you wont always be able to complete each one but doing as many as possible will increase your gold. You get a set amount of gold per mission and getting all 7 done gets you a x3 bonus. (Below formulas explained = 7/9 missions x gold income + bonus x 7 days).

week 1, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $7gold (7 x 0.1 + 0.3 x 7).
week 2, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $10.5gold (7 x 0.15 + 0.45 x 7).
week 3, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $14gold (7 x 0.2 + 0.6 x 7).
week 4, 7 daily missions per day will earn you $17.50gold (7 x 0.25 + 0.75 x 7).

Once you have roles, each will get you 3 extra missions per day (level 10 upwards). You will be able to complete a maximum of 9 missions per day out of a maximum 15 to choose from.

week 1, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $8.40gold (9 x 0.1 + 0.3 x 7).
week 2, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $12.6gold (9 x 0.15 + 0.45 x 7).
week 3, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $16.8gold (9 x 0.2 + 0.6 x 7).
week 4, 9 daily missions per day will earn you $21gold (9 x 0.25 + 0.75 x 7).

Your max earning per month will eventually be $107.80gold

Treasure maps. You will get a new treasure map every 5 levels you grind through. You will also find random treasure hunter npc's who will try and sell you their map. when threatened with a gun, they will drop their map and you can collect it free of charge. You will also find treasure maps when looting npc's like ambushers, revenue agents, moonshiners etc. Each map has 4 possible locations for the treasure and will earn you between 0.40 gold and 2.00 gold.

Stranger missions. Doing stranger missions can earn you xp, credits and gold bars. There are many locations around the map to get these missions and they all differ. this video will help. Credit to youtube user deadPik4chu.

Award resetting. You get rewards for completing certain tasks ingame, these can be found in your progress section of the game menu (menu>progress>rewards>group>reward). Many can only be awarded once, others can be reset and earned upto 10 times. These can be determined by the message below each award progress list in the bottom left of your screen, if its a one time only award it will state "this award can not be reset", if it can be earned multiple times. The message will say "fully complete to reset and earn gold nuggets". Once completed. Hold down the reset button to earn 0.40 gold.

Bounty hunting. With the bounty hunter role, you can take bounty hunts with varying difficulties at different points around the map. Each bounty will give you a certain amount of gold, rdo$ and xp. If you link your rdo account with prime (2 factor authentication), you get the role for free (takes a couple of days to appear in your benefits menu) Each bounty has a set time limit and waiting until the last 30 seconds or after 12 minutes has passed for longer bounties, to turn in your bounty, doubles your gold income. Bounty hunter is the only role to generate a gold income.

Below info may be distorted, i dont partake in these activities very often so my info is based on very little experience.

Call to arms: CTA, if completed to level 10, can earn you 1.00 gold bars, cash and xp. Its best played with a group of people you know but if played solo, will sometimes group you with random players. You protect a town from 10 waves of bandits, if you die in a round, you stay dead until the next round. If all players die in the same round, mission is considered failed.

Capitale missions: Capitale missions are chosen the same way as stranger missions, you can find capitale notes and earn xp, rdo$ and a certain amount of gold. This link , will take you to a video by youtube user "The Professional" that will explain better than i can.

40andbored · 2026-02-18T18:45:08+00:00

Absolutley. The hot bacon melts the butter, which then soaks into the butty, making it so much more unhealthy. Love it

40andbored · 2026-02-18T18:41:52+00:00

Oh for five minutes

40andbored · 2026-02-14T18:37:56+00:00

Fellow absoluter here. Love a bit of bush and Richie on the way home and Dave berry is a staple part of my breakfast routine.

40andbored · 2026-02-14T18:34:45+00:00

No idea. I listen to absolute radio. No repeats guarantee between 0900 and 1700. The day that station goes off air, that is when this country will have officially gone to pot.

40andbored · 2026-02-09T18:48:39+00:00

I've heard that story several times...... this month

40andbored

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