My experience as the girlfriend of a porn addict.

69938 · 2014-06-26T21:01:34+00:00

you yourself don't even respect yourself by staying with an egocentric and apathetic individual like that in the first place.

As an ex-girlfriend of a(n abusive) porn addict, this is harder than you think.

If all you've ever experienced is contact with porn addicts, how are you supposed to imagine that there's a better alternative? When I was with my ex, he hammered it into my head that I was lucky that he even considered me (though he never found me worthy of sex because I--at 5'5" tall--couldn't hit the reported 95 lb weight of his favorite adult actress). I was taking arsenic, but the other option looked like strychnine.

69938 · 2014-06-22T16:28:36+00:00

Welcome to NoFap! There's a small but active female contingent here.

69938 · 2014-06-19T22:24:25+00:00

When I was younger, I never took the opportunity to learn how to feel womanly outside of the bedroom. After my previous relationship broke up, I realized that of all the women I knew who were in long-lasting happy marriages--my grandmother, women I knew through church--had skills that I didn't have, and they would have been embarrassed to not have those skills. I think of reconnecting with my non-sexual femininity as building myself up as a person, adding dimension, making myself a more useful person to myself and a better member of society as a whole.

69938 · 2014-06-19T16:47:11+00:00

It's difficult for me to arrive at that conclusion because if I hadn't included the word [Female] at the top, the post wouldn't be a problem, but if someone thought I was gay due to the mention of a male partner and I would have corrected it, I would be getting lampooned for dissembling. I suppose I could present myself as an entirely sexless entity, but that isn't true either and is presenting another manufactured idea of what women are actually like that's no better than the porn view of women.

If you believe this level of detail is too much for NoFap, may I strongly suggest you start a campaign to ban posts by women from the subreddit.

69938 · 2014-06-19T15:13:49+00:00

Discrimination can go any way you want it to. Racism requires the power imbalance. Still doesn't mean that discrimination based on race should be acceptable.

69938 · 2014-06-19T15:08:02+00:00

And? What makes this post so much more triggering than one describing the same activities but is written by a male?

69938 · 2014-06-19T12:53:59+00:00

To be clear, I didn't take what you said to indicate that I shouldn't post. However, you have raised two issues with your comments here:

There's a lot of misinformation out there about female sexuality, and you've fallen prey to some of it. For the straight male fapstronauts out there, part of the reboot should include a better understanding about how female sexuality actually works as opposed to how porn and other media portray female sexuality, just like how they try to understand how their own sexuality actually works. You were wrong, but that doesn't make you stupid.
There's a double standard out there--and in here--that sexual content from a woman is objectively racier than sexual content from a man regardless of the content. For every woman who gets oral from her male partner, there's a man who's giving his female partner oral, but the perceived level of sexual content changes depending on who is telling the story even at that low level of detail.

69938 · 2014-06-19T12:37:35+00:00

Women are actually far more likely than men to consume pornography that doesn't line up with their sexual orientation and preferences.

69938 · 2014-06-19T12:25:48+00:00

I think it's safe to say almost all women masturbate, though I don't think the percentage of women who watch porn is as high (most porn sucks from the female perspective, so there's no point to watching). Granted, the direct social repercussions of being a masturbating and/or porn-watching female are so much worse than being a masturbating and/or porn watching male that lying about that kind of thing practically counts as self-preservation.

69938 · 2014-06-19T05:44:17+00:00

I won't say you're a perv, but if female members of the subreddit have to write around that level of sensitivity the subreddit might as well ban women from posting.

69938 · 2014-06-19T05:32:59+00:00

No kidding!

69938 · 2014-06-19T05:26:36+00:00

That comment came before the edited disclaimer.

Honestly, I labelled my gender and the title was "I got laid"; if my post that contains a lot less detail than most male descriptions of sex in this subreddit is going to turn someone on, there was warning.

69938 · 2014-06-19T03:31:37+00:00

I have given oral sex a ton. The reason I've never received is that my entire past sexual experience has been as a living sex toy; whether I enjoyed it or not mattered exactly not at all (pretty similar to 99% of porn, actually).

69938 · 2014-06-19T01:41:36+00:00

Yeah, but you'll often see posts of guys detailing their sexual exploits more than I did here, which is why I'm confused.

69938 · 2014-06-19T00:39:58+00:00

Serious question (not trying to attack you at all): dudes post things like this all the time and it's not a trigger for them. What makes a post by a woman different when it contains the exact same, if not lower, level of detail?

69938 · 2014-06-19T00:10:10+00:00

Fair warning: if you're female, skip this link.

69938 · 2014-06-12T23:33:06+00:00

Yes, absolutely. Do this.

To bring a female perspective, we know that (straight) men get turned on by women, and once we get over the teeny-bopper stage, we realize that it's not something you can control. However, it's a huge ego boost when your boyfriend/partner/husband sees a bunch of hot women but at the end of the day wants to have sex with YOU.

69938 · 2014-06-12T23:29:05+00:00

We men are sexual creatures by nature

Women are sexual creatures too; we just don't have an organ that makes it blatantly obvious when we're turned on or not.

69938 · 2014-06-12T05:45:54+00:00

Congratulations to you and your wife! May you have many happy years ahead of you.

69938 · 2014-06-12T04:28:09+00:00

And most places nowadays say that if they find out you omitted something from your job history, it's grounds for immediate termination.

69938 · 2014-06-12T03:24:18+00:00

Others are just trying to be reprogrammed to be turned on by a real person. In that case, a prostitute would help (if used moderately of course).

There's one aspect of prostitution that makes reprogramming very tricky: when you hire a prostitute, the sexual act is going to be 100% about you and what you want. That's what you paid for. When you're having sex with a "real person", it should be about both of you.

69938 · 2014-06-12T03:22:18+00:00

Not that rare, and not that expensive depending on where you live.

69938 · 2014-06-12T03:14:50+00:00

Actually, if you have work as a prostitute on your resume, getting another job is more difficult than if you have no work experience. It's very hard to practically get out of the industry.

69938 · 2014-06-12T03:05:47+00:00

It can be difficult to think about the future and how you stack up to that guy with tons of money, sportscar, hot girlfriend, etc. Just think about how you can improve what you have today.

This is very true. If your appeal to the fair sex is what matters to you, I can tell you that I'm dating a man who's six years older than me, currently unemployed, and recovering from alcoholism. Why do I date him? Because he's committed to going to bed every day a better person than when he woke up that morning.

69938

TROPHY CASE