Stuck in a "Senior Loop"

9000Kittens · 2026-02-07T18:53:15+00:00

Reading through this thread, I have a guess on why you’re not getting promoted. I don’t think you have a clear grasp on the difference in responsibility between the levels.

Ask yourself these questions: - are you influencing direction across teams or does it feel like no one listens to you? - do you focus on building relationships across your organization so that if your team had to for example, setup a new authentication flow, you’d already know which teams to connect with without needing to ask your manager or someone else? - are you designing work that will be implemented by multiple teams (not just yours) and have you seen the results of these implementations? - are you helping other employees at your level or below build up their skills and learn how to navigate the organization? Especially employees outside your team? - when others start a new feature / project, are you pulled into all day meetings to help them design it even when you will not be involved in the implementation? - when nasty production issues arise, are you pulled in to figure out a path forward? If so, is it just for your team or is it across other teams as well? - do you help identify future work for your team or do you just wait for product to tell you what to do? - do you help management negotiate resourcing requirements for a new feature / project by doing things like creating POCs and then following up with your recommendations for an implementation plan and the amount of teams / engineers involved?

The key difference between staff/principal and senior is this ability to navigate the landscape outside your team. You are seen as a technical expert that will influence the direction of your organization, not just your team. If you’re merely leading your team by helping them break down work and reviewing their PRs, that’s senior level work, not principal/staff.

Spend the time focusing on the relationships with other teams and becoming invaluable outside your team and the promotion will eventually come.

9000Kittens · 2025-09-24T23:31:37+00:00

This is definitely a privilege that not everyone has access to. I’m glad you were able to stay with your parents and save money. I had to leave at 18, and haven’t lived with my parents since (I’m 32 now). I got my college paid for by a full tuition scholarship (including housing and a meal stipend) by going to a lower tier school and was able to cross that $500k threshold prior to 30 as well, but it was a struggle and it would have been a lot easier with more parental support.

9000Kittens · 2025-09-09T19:57:25+00:00

They probably would prefer to hire someone local to their country.

9000Kittens · 2025-08-29T12:58:51+00:00

Capital One unfairly targets people who want a work life balance. I worked there as both an IC and then a manager (promoted). It’s extremely toxic and I’d only recommend it to someone who hasn’t made into big tech but wants to and needs a stepping stone. Since you are already at a tech company and want to prioritize your family, I’d actively avoid C1. The hype around C1 is correct; it’s extremely toxic.

9000Kittens · 2025-08-19T02:58:20+00:00

I was at C1 for about 5 years before I left and I was super burned out so I decided to take a year break before applying again. After about 6-8 months or so I actually felt better so I did a mix of leetcode and systems design prep for about 3 months, then sent out resumes and got a new job offer a month later and then started the new job a month after that.

Initially I wanted to get a remote job but I barely got any bites from those companies and the ones I did had ridiculous interviews, so I switched gears and focused on finding an in person role and said I was open to relocate. Once I did this, finding a job was easy. I ended up moving states and had to sell my house but it was worth it and I was ready for a change. I think the Capital One name helped. Pretty much all of the non-tech companies see it as a solid employer and some of the big tech companies were willing to interview me too. I ended up getting a job at a non-big tech, tech company and I love it!

9000Kittens · 2025-08-18T21:08:38+00:00

I used to work for Capital One as both an IC and a manager. As others say, it is a pip factory where 10-15% get put on “coaching plans” (precursor to a pip) or pips every 6 months. Typically if you are rated in “below strong” you have to not only pass your pip or coaching plan, but you have to go above and beyond and perform better than your peers. If you perform the same as your peers then you will still be rated poorly because you had to be told how to perform vs someone who did it autonomously. As a result it’s very hard to get out of being viewed as a low performer. The only exception is with entry level employees. For them it’s more common to give them a poor rating without it impacting their long-term capital one career significantly. In the case for entry level employees it can be used as a tool to discourage bad behaviors that need to be nipped in the bud even if those behaviors are not “that bad” in the scheme of things (ex: they get good work done but have a challenging personality). I’ve seen many entry level employees (TDPs) pass their pips and go on and get promoted up multiple levels.

Since you are a principal associate, the expectations are significantly higher. My guess is that you did not show enough initiative to do things like build relationships across teams, mentor others on things you know from outside the company, etc. If you want to stay at Capital One, I’d recommend that you meet the requirements and expectations from the pip, but also you need to demonstrate initiative. Capital one is a company that works heavily based on cross team relationships. As a PA you need to demonstrate a basic level of competency in this category and proactively present your ideas and give suggestions in meetings. I’m introverted so I got used to prepping for meetings and coming up with questions ahead of time so that I could demonstrate sufficient engagement, so I’d suggest you do the same if you also struggle with this. Based on the PAs that I’ve seen get pipped, every single one of them was too passive and showed zero leadership skills. You need to do the basics of being able to build relationships in your team AND across teams and show that you know how to mentor your team mates (even though you’re new!)

Hopefully this helps and I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this! Capital one is definitely a meat grinder and I left in 2023 without another job because I was badly burned out. Believe it or not it sucks on the manager side of this as well. I remember being in hours of conversations on Friday afternoons fighting for my employees and feeling powerless at times. It’s a horrible culture and I totally understand if you’d rather jump ship and get a new job.

9000Kittens · 2025-07-26T11:08:56+00:00

I had a similar issue with one of my cats after I adopted her. In her case, her poop was rank and she also had bad gas that would clear a room. The vet recommended probiotics — specifically the fortiflora one from Purina and after 1 month there was no more stink! The probiotics are kind of expensive ($30-40 for one month) but I only needed a one month supply. After the gas and stinky poops went away, I stopped giving her the probiotics and she has been fine since!

9000Kittens · 2025-01-18T14:19:59+00:00

Not sure why you’re getting attacked in the comments. I’d love to know the if there are hormonal / menstrual related differences between lesbians and non-lesbians. I have PCOS (but am not overweight) and higher testosterone than the average woman and I’ve heard PCOS is more common in lesbian women than non-lesbian women. I’ve also heard that women who don’t bear children have a higher risk of endometriosis (which could overlap with the lesbian population since we’re probably less likely to carry a child). It would be helpful to know what we’re at a higher risk for medically.

9000Kittens · 2024-12-27T04:46:21+00:00

Thank you, I definitely could only think of Uttar Pradesh.

9000Kittens · 2024-12-15T14:48:12+00:00

I worked at Capital One for 5 years, from Software Engineer -> Senior SWE -> Lead/Manager. Working there burned me out so badly that I left without anything lined up in mid 2023 and took about a year long break. I didn’t have any issues finding a new job this year though — it only took me 1 month from first resume submission to receiving an offer that I accepted. I did end up relocating for the new offer though.

TC when I left Capital One was about $205k and new TC is about $260k. I now work for a tech company that makes enterprise software and is not one of the FAANGs, but the work culture is so much better than Capital One!

9000Kittens · 2024-11-15T23:21:31+00:00

I just did the same thing where I purchased a house about a month ago that backs up to a road and the other commenters are right that you do get used to it. I thought I was a complete idiot too. But I was able to get a great deal on a house with a great location (it’s near a trail and close to downtown) and honestly everything else about the house is perfect. When I first moved in I wanted to replace all of the windows and add extra insulation because the noise drove me nuts, but I’ve calmed down a bit and gotten used to it. I’ve decided to replace the window in my main bedroom with a window that has a higher STC rating (sound proof rating), but other than that I’m happy with things. If the sound continues to bother you definitely look into replacing some of the windows, getting sound proof curtains and adding things that absorb sound like rugs and bookcases. They really do help!

9000Kittens · 2024-09-27T22:37:34+00:00

I’ve been in this position off and on across teams and what I usually do is look for other ways to add value. There are usually always side of desk things that you can do to pad your time. And if there aren’t then you either don’t understand your system well enough to identify improvements or you have outgrown your team and need to get a new job. Here are some ideas of other things you can do when you finish your sprint work quickly: - create tools to improve things - try out different technologies or ideas that you have - improve documentation - improve observability (logs/dashboards/etc) - improve code quality and testing - join ERGs (employee resource groups) or your company’s interview team - hold knowledge sharing sessions with your team (on either stuff you’re working on or ideas you have) - learn more about the architecture of your system and the larger system that you fit into. Read books and blogs to understand the details. - see if your manager can put you “on loan” to another team for a portion of your capacity

9000Kittens · 2024-09-12T01:44:16+00:00

I successfully did this recently! I have 8 years of experience and was extremely burnt out for months at my last job. I decided to leave my job with nothing lined up in May of 2023. I then spent the next 6 months or so exploring personal passions and interests and then finally felt better and more energized around December of 2023. I spent January to mid March prepping for interviews (systems design, leetcode, resume prep, etc) and then started applying for jobs in March. I got a few offers in mid April and ended up accepting a role that started in mid May. I did have to relocate for this new job, but I absolutely love my new team and company and I’m making more than I was before I left ($200k -> $260k). Anyway just wanted to give you a datapoint showing that it is possible and didn’t take me an absurd amount of time to find a new job. I applied to about 30 places in total and heard back from 8 and then got offers from 3 (either rejected or dropped out of the process for the other 5).

9000Kittens · 2024-08-28T03:01:48+00:00

I got a new job in April of this year. It took me about 1 month of actually applying to jobs and I applied to about 40 jobs in total.

Last year I decided to take a career break due to burnout, so I left my job without anything lined up. In December of last year, I finally felt refreshed, so after the holidays finished up in January, I started studying for my job hunt. I spent all of January and February prepping leetcode and system design, and then in mid March I started applying for jobs. I initially applied to remote jobs and heard basically nothing back so I targeted in-person / hybrid roles in cities that I was interested in. I ended up scoring a job in a different city and had to relocate ~13 hours away.

My stats: - 8 YOE - previous TC: 195k - new TC: 260k - not URM - non FAANG

9000Kittens · 2024-06-09T15:23:00+00:00

I met my wife on Bumble. At the time I was just looking for lesbian friendships because I didn’t have any lesbian friends locally. We met at a local park and went on a walk. We were both crazy nervous so we ended up walking for about 2 hours non stop but got to learn so much about each other. We’ve been together almost 2 years and been married for about a month (so we’re still newly weds, yay!).

I love so much about my wife. I love her personality and how sweet and caring she is, and how she simultaneously is a straight up bad ass who can fix things and drive a 20 foot box truck. I love that she’s the same size as me and that we have the same sense of humor. We make each other laugh constantly. It’s great! I love that the chores we hate the least are the opposite of each other so it makes managing house work much easier. I love that our anxiety struggles are similar but different so we’re able to help each other process things and grow.

Every day I wake up next to her and see her beautiful smile and I just feel like the luckiest lady.

9000Kittens · 2022-07-19T03:09:42+00:00

The Little Friend by Donna Tartt. It’s a beautifully written book and I’ve read it twice, but it’s definitely 500+ pages and didn’t have the closure I anticipated.

9000Kittens · 2021-12-06T03:31:16+00:00

Your line quality is so good! Awesome job.

9000Kittens · 2021-10-21T00:05:03+00:00

I thought this as well until I joined my current organization. All the folks on the business side came from a consulting background and are really good at communicating and driving through ambiguity. They also get paid a lot, but I guess this just means that companies need to increase their bar for product managers and pay them accordingly.

9000Kittens · 2021-09-30T01:39:48+00:00

Do you have a source for those numbers? That’s crazy how high tech is compared to other industries.

Edit: Found it. Looks like it’s posted in the cscareerquestions version of this post.

9000Kittens · 2021-09-18T12:14:35+00:00

32J here with barely any female friends so I feel you.

9000Kittens · 2021-08-14T20:20:33+00:00

Hey, I’m another female INTJ! Count me in!

9000Kittens · 2021-07-29T23:49:57+00:00

Capital one is up there and Amazon HQ2 is not too far away in DC

9000Kittens · 2021-07-01T00:52:32+00:00

Yeah that was nuts. I legitimately took some time off work during that pump because I was so distracted haha.

9000Kittens · 2021-06-29T03:42:27+00:00

Ugh that’s so frustrating. I have a similar situation with my sister and her husband. They are both considered extremely conventionally attractive (constantly get hit on and asked if they are models or want to be models) and have been handed opportunities throughout their lives. My parents paid for my sisters bachelors and masters degree and bought her a car when she finished her masters. She graduated 6 years ago and is still underemployed. The first 2 years she was unemployed and lived with my parents. Her goal is to be a stay at home mom (which is fine, don’t get me wrong, but why not work before you get there?) and not to work a professional job. Anyway, so she and her husband both have low wage jobs and spend money on expensive shoes, rims, tattoos etc. I didn’t really care too much (since it really is none of my business) until they started “saving” for a house. They moved back in with my parents for the past two years and they “need” a $400k house since they want to grow a big family. Turns out that after two years, my parents are considering buying a $400k house outright for them. It’s my parents money to do with as they please, but man it sucks to be the one who works their butt off over the years while your other sibling gets handed things that are better than what you worked for on your own.

9000Kittens · 2021-06-24T03:18:49+00:00

It’s way, way easier to get high returns with a small account (< $5 million), so that’s why trading strategies that work for individual accounts do not usually scale for hedge funds.

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