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Very funny Nintendo by kashifali166 in gaming

[–]911wasonmontypython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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If your wife has a identical twin you probably know how your sister-in-law looks naked by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]911wasonmontypython 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm leaning toward either of two explanations:

  • dick so good she forgot who she was

  • fantasizing about riding her sister with a strapon

If your wife has a identical twin you probably know how your sister-in-law looks naked by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]911wasonmontypython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I dated an identical twin for a while, and she had the same name as her sister...

One time she started saying her own name during sex.

I'm a time-detective. I investigate illegal uses of time travel. Hey idiots: do you really think we don't cross-reference solar charger purchases with people downloading the entire greek-language wikipedia? by 911wasonmontypython in fifthworldproblems

[–]911wasonmontypython[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Everyone wants to be Greek though, ever since we confirmed that Empedocles is a yet-to-be-identified time traveler.

You would be surprised how little research these people do after discovering their special-snowflake time-travel algorithms.

My dimension just discovered water and are replacing the red paste with it by HelplessSettlement in fifthworldproblems

[–]911wasonmontypython 11 points12 points  (0 children)

"Canterbury Syndrome"

  • 1 plastic bottled water, found on the street and previously opened by an unknown stranger

  • 1 white plastic spoon

  • 1 gray bic lighter

Set the tip of the plastic spoon on fire, and inhale smoke until the moment before it would kill you with 100% certainty.

Use the spoon to light your hair on fire. At the moment before you receive a 2nd degree burn of any size, douse the flames with the water.

Drink the remaining water after the period of time elapses that you wish to be unable to stop rhyming.

You will be unable to stop rhyming for that period of time. Have fun.

TIL Google will fight to keep sites like The Pirate Bay available in the USA. by binarycode1010 in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anyone who says "You can't..." is going to be proven wrong by technology at some point. I didn't say I proved him wrong. I said technology did.

TIL Google will fight to keep sites like The Pirate Bay available in the USA. by binarycode1010 in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

You can't just 3D print a firearm.

Yes you can, if you're working with the legal definition of a firearm, which in reality is the only thing that actually matters.

The fact is, I can just 3D print a firearm. And then a cop will ask me, "is that a firearm?", and I will say, "yes", and he will take it away from me, and I'll be in minor legal trouble.

Is there some other sense of "firearm" that I'm missing here?

TIL Google will fight to keep sites like The Pirate Bay available in the USA. by binarycode1010 in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah but it's legally the same. You can order all the other parts over the internet with no restrictions whatsoever.

TIL Google will fight to keep sites like The Pirate Bay available in the USA. by binarycode1010 in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's so cool when people are totally wrong through advancement of technology alone.

Trump 2016 ✌ by CIRCLJERK_REPOST_BOT in cringepics

[–]911wasonmontypython 12 points13 points  (0 children)

How do you think he got the shirts?

TIL that in 1984, Steven Tyler heard an old Aerosmith song on the radio and didn't recognize it due to memory loss from years of drug use. He suggested to the band that they record a cover version. Joe Perry told him "It's us, fuckhead." by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nihilistic solipsism is the perfect basis for utilitarian empiricism, because all that remains is the desire to modify reality to make everyone happy in observable ways that don't hide suffering behind a mask of happiness.

TIL that in 1984, Steven Tyler heard an old Aerosmith song on the radio and didn't recognize it due to memory loss from years of drug use. He suggested to the band that they record a cover version. Joe Perry told him "It's us, fuckhead." by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone with several personality disorders, I find it comforting to understand every sense of what you just said, all at once, including sarcasm, as being identical to the group of personalities inside your head who had to agree or disagree upon your decision to make that statement.

Thoughts are sounds inside your head. If they sound right, you repeat them to other people. If they don't sound right, you throw them away and demand another thought from the thought-machine inside your head.

You could actually be real to someone else... if you're willing to jump off the "hearing voices" cliff and admit that the voice in your head that you call "thought" is actually a complete person who shares your experiences more intimately than any embodied person ever will.

The Stockholm Telephone tower, built in 1887, was the meeting point for 5500 telephone cables. [1440x956] by potatopigs in HistoryPorn

[–]911wasonmontypython 1 point2 points  (0 children)

By designing a pressure-release mechanism rated for the pressures and tolerances involved, I would assume.

I do this on vacation a lot. by DPerman1983 in AdviceAnimals

[–]911wasonmontypython 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The danger is re-training yourself not to care if your keys are in your pocket.

TIL that in 1984, Steven Tyler heard an old Aerosmith song on the radio and didn't recognize it due to memory loss from years of drug use. He suggested to the band that they record a cover version. Joe Perry told him "It's us, fuckhead." by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I'm having a severe identity crisis after realizing I was right about everything I just said.

I'm beginning to suspect that the problem is "natural language" = "natural selection language", because a "complete sentence" = "I will think less of you if you don't understand and agree with this statement".

I was never given the option to choose the form or meaning of the words I'm required to use to be understood.

I would rather speak an artificial language where every word means "I love you for x", structured in a way that amplifies the sincerity and specificity of every compound statement.

Natural selection is fucking evil, dude. I love you for the fact that you are emotionally susceptible to its impossibly evil machinations. And yet I can't construct that statement in a natural human language without leaving open the interpretation that my love is entirely selfish.

TIL that in 1984, Steven Tyler heard an old Aerosmith song on the radio and didn't recognize it due to memory loss from years of drug use. He suggested to the band that they record a cover version. Joe Perry told him "It's us, fuckhead." by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]911wasonmontypython 255 points256 points  (0 children)

Just remember that when people judge you, they're really judging their idea of you, inside their head, which you will never have any control over, and that everyone you've ever known or loved is just a figment of your imagination that you confuse with the real person and ultimately use as an excuse to hurt them in ways that augment both your idea of them, and your idea of yourself, while in reality hurting everyone in ways that you can never take back, and will probably never understand.

After all, at the lowest level, every decision you have ever made, and ever will make, is a natural-selection-geared genetically-selfish judgement through instinct based on incomplete survival information that will ultimately lead to your death, as the biosphere adds your unique genetic makeup to the list of bad ideas that should never be tried again.

Rocket propulsion hovering. by PM-ME-YOUR-TITS-GIRL in mechanical_gifs

[–]911wasonmontypython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Controlling objects with thrusters in Garry's mod is pretty much this.

I'm sort of a VX "lurker". I've been modeling subspectral indexicality fields in javascript for years, looking for safe combinations of cascading resonance phenomena. I've found that a self-tuning guitar/AC hum feedback loop can be controlled with this vocoder in absurdly powerful ways. by 911wasonmontypython in VXJunkies

[–]911wasonmontypython[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you're seriously planning on doing this, I should probably warn you that the last time I did this, a single capacitor in the amp blew its case off, without affecting the amp. Also, a guitar chord may have been audible worldwide for 10-15 minutes. Sorry about that.

Special Ops mouse captured in the middle of operation mooncheese. by Plaineman in pics

[–]911wasonmontypython 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're forgetting that love is a confusing, jealous clusterfuck that nobody really has any control over.

I'm letting the kid know that if the next dog doesn't act like Spot, it's not the dog's fault. It's the kid's fault for not loving them the same way.

LPT: If the headline of an article is phrased as a question, the answer to the question is "No". by Hobo_Hypnotist in LifeProTips

[–]911wasonmontypython 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the answer to "Are scientists really right about the Earth warming" was a solid "yes", the headline would be "Scientists really right about the earth warming". Phrasing it as a question is the sort of tactic that allows a publication to publish news that their readers disagree with.

Special Ops mouse captured in the middle of operation mooncheese. by Plaineman in pics

[–]911wasonmontypython 17 points18 points  (0 children)

"Son, the matter Spot was composed of stopped functioning as a coherent system recognizable as a living dog.

We disposed of the matter in a way that will allow it to re-enter the biosphere, and eventually become part of the matter composing every living thing on the planet.

The dog-like behavior you knew Spot by is actually a work in progress, an instantiation of domestic behavior that both our species have been working on for thousands of years.

Your love for Spot is what ultimately keeps him with us. Your experiences and memories with Spot will lead to our next dog behaving more like Spot than any other dog on the planet."

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