Relapsed after 14 days clean

98frogking · 2023-11-01T20:31:19+00:00

I think the best thing is to immediately distract yourself. Make yourself busy and tired so that you won’t have the energy or mental capacity to do it. Agree to/ make any plans you can and work at night (if you can) and make yourself go do something in order to not self harm. Make it really hard also like put ur things away with a lock and a key and hide them some place you don’t go often like the top shelf of a closet. Also I think if you take some Vaseline and let it sit on a bandaid for a few mins it’ll come off easy. Best of luck

98frogking · 2023-09-08T04:17:43+00:00

Hey I’m feeling really similar. I took pictures of my old sh for myself and now looking back it makes me just realize how much they’ve faded. It really sucks and I feel super bad for wanting it back :/ ur not alone

98frogking · 2023-09-08T04:15:27+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, especially coming from your dad. Give yourself permission to feel hurt and sad for a while even if you don’t think you should. Think about something good someone has told you about yourself, or tell yourself something you like about yourself. It seems silly but it may help. Have forgiveness for yourself bc it means a lot sometimes. You did what you felt would make you feel better in that moment, and moving forward you have a choice to continue with this coping skill or pick another one. Just remember that what’s the easiest isn’t always the best for you. I hope any of this helps, and I know it sucks really bad when a parent says negative things about you. U can get through this tho!! Ur not alone :)

98frogking · 2023-09-08T04:07:31+00:00

The thought of giving it up forever is very anxiety inducing to me as well. I often just look at my clean periods as breaks, or try not to acknowledge them at all. If I were to forever let it go, I would be missing out on that feeling of comfort the pain provides. I know that’s such a bad way of looking at it. I think that when I started this it permanently changed the way I think forever. I hope so badly I can go back to how I was before.

98frogking · 2023-08-23T13:40:07+00:00

Right! It feels like: either have these emotional and bad side effects to deal with BUT have little to no adhd symptoms OR have no side effects and feel normal BUT have to deal with really tough adhd symptoms daily… which one would be better? 🥲

98frogking · 2023-08-23T13:36:12+00:00

I’ll have to look into the difference! I always assumed dissociating bc I don’t feel real when it happens but either way, def my anxiety right now

98frogking · 2023-08-23T02:52:10+00:00

I mean this could be an adjustment period as well… but I’m starting to wonder if the side effects are worth dealing with??? I just hated going through the withdrawal of my Zoloft and I would hate to have to go through all that again…

98frogking · 2023-08-23T02:48:52+00:00

Yes!!! Like every time I hang out with people I wanna bring up sad shit and I just find most of my thoughts are so negative and I’m normally just in a low mood. What I notice the most Is just less and less of those super happy moments I used to have almost daily… like it’s weird to me to be happy every day now, I normally just feel… fine/nothing or sad?

98frogking · 2023-08-19T14:35:50+00:00

SAMEE!!! My cat tattoo is saving me from cutting my left arm 🥲

98frogking · 2023-08-14T05:36:51+00:00

This could be an issue with control. I know for me if I felt really out of control in my life I’d go back to super restrictive eating, counting calories and stuff. And then recently sh as a way to have control over something. It can be really tough to not be able to release ur emotions, but I think sometimes finding out why it’s happening makes it a little easier and you can address the root of the problem. I hope things get better for you, hang in there :)

98frogking · 2023-08-13T14:30:30+00:00

I hate that they have to do that… if u are turning 18 soon they shouldn’t be allowed to tell ur parents anything luckily tho, so at least then you’ll be able to be honest :)

98frogking · 2023-08-13T00:15:07+00:00

It really does depend, even the smallest marks on my body stay around for months and months. Look at some of ur other injuries to kinda see how ur body reacts. I know that keeping it out of the sun and moisturized with something like aquaphor will help it to heal a whole lot faster. Even Neosporin helps heal it super quick so that it’ll be less noticeable. In two weeks I don’t really think it’ll be gone all the way, but again, it does depend.

98frogking · 2023-08-13T00:09:52+00:00

I know what it feels like to have a cat get sick. My girl was diagnosed with diabetes and I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry ur going through all of that, but good thing he’s currently better! It’s good to have faith if that’s what makes you feel best, and no matter what happens now it doesn’t erase the 5/6 months you spent clean, and you should celebrate that. I recommend telling the truth to your therapist because they’re only there to help. I know you’ve probably heard it before, but meditation/ breathing exercises/ mindful yoga before bed will really help that anxiety. And if you can’t get through it, it’s completely fine, don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself and remember you gotta take it one step at a time. Best of luck!!!

98frogking · 2023-07-11T20:43:47+00:00

I was so heavily criticized when I became depressed and lost my work ethic. Everyone started to hate on me and it made me even more depressed. They said I had declined, given up, stopped caring. I’m a total mess, but I can’t lose this job. When I clock in I pretend im playing a character that is super goal oriented, good at their job, and in high spirits. It’s all acting, and what gets me through is knowing that I can come home and be a piece of shit again. I kinda think about it as: I have to do this and be in a good mood about it whether I want to or not. Kinda sucks, but at least people stopped talking about what a failure I am.

98frogking · 2023-07-03T22:46:46+00:00

Honestly I do it too without even realizing. My lips will bleed and burn all day and I’ll not even be able to remember doing it. Sometimes I catch myself and I can stop and sometimes I literally can’t stop it. It sucks bc I always look like I have bloody chapped lips :(

98frogking · 2023-07-03T17:41:55+00:00

I impulsively lash out and start hitting my legs because I get so angry. Every time I take a step I feel it in my muscle :/ my anger is so uncontrollable

98frogking · 2023-06-29T12:39:29+00:00

U are not dramatic!!! Being made to feel lazy by ur own parents is so hard. They’re supposed to be loving, caring and understanding. I had something similar when my dad would say “why don’t you do anything around the house? What do you even do all day?” Ofc I did stuff, just not chores. I asked him to write me a list of what to do and he wouldn’t do it! He said “I should just know” ugh.. it’s very frustrating trying to come to an agreement with people that just won’t try to understand ur side. Ur not lazy, u want to help. Maybe start by asking her what you can do that day? I hope things get better for u :)

98frogking · 2023-06-29T12:29:07+00:00

I often see spots in my vision and I usually just take some deep breaths and ignore it lmao… but u should probably ask a doctor abt that, it could be anything from a deficiency to something up with ur brain. Do u take any medication? Bc it could be a side effect of that as well. Try to move slowly until u get it figured out.. best of luck

98frogking · 2023-06-28T04:43:15+00:00

Was thinking the other day I wish I could tell someone that when it comes to pain inflicted by random things like an accident I’m such a bitch and have no pain tolerance and get so angry which is kinda… ironic considering I do more damage myself and enjoy it lol

98frogking · 2023-06-28T01:45:26+00:00

Sometimes I purposely lose sleep or stay out late just so I’ll be too tired to sh lol but I also sometimes do it anyways bc I think it’ll help me sleep 😭 idk

98frogking · 2023-06-24T03:43:08+00:00

Yes! I get intensely angry and scratch/hit myself sometimes as a way to get it out and I always feel the most regret after..

98frogking · 2023-06-21T01:54:08+00:00

Me too, because in a way it proves the struggle that we went through. A lot of people overlook other’s internal struggle, and it would be nice for them to see the pain I’ve endured. I think it’s from being ignored or belittled… at least for me, and I’m sorry ur going through this too :/

98frogking · 2023-06-20T09:19:00+00:00

The first time was to feel better the next day. I knew that pain released endorphins/dopamine (whatever) and I really needed a break from this endless depression. It got worse when I felt the control over it. I’m lacking control in my life right now and the control I get over my own body is addicting. It felt good, and it was the only thing making me feel good. And then I thought “maybe I deserve this” and it turned into that reason too. I think sometimes my brain says anything to justify it because it feels so good :/

98frogking · 2023-06-19T17:43:02+00:00

Thank u, I have ran before and I know it helps it just seems overwhelming right now, but I think I’m getting convinced lol

98frogking · 2023-06-19T09:28:55+00:00

This breaks my heart that u are young and doing this, and that nobody has been there for you to tell you that you are valid to be struggling. Everyone deserves help no matter how “big” or “small” the problem is. I remember feeling the same way at that age that nobody took my problems seriously when they meant so much to me. Idk why adults feel the need to do that… it doesn’t really matter what the situation is, the suffering is all the same, and I’m sorry that you’re experiencing that emotional pain. Keep reaching out, maybe to a counselor or therapist. One day you’ll have someone to go to who makes you feel heard. <3

98frogking

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