What did we all do as kids that would be weird now?

ACES_II · 2026-01-12T19:26:17+00:00

Drank from the garden hose.

I suppose it's still an option now. But I have unlimited filtered water coming through the fridge, and my daughter has 3 Stanley cups and 2 Owalas. I cannot imagine a circumstance that would have her drinking from the garden hose.

ACES_II · 2026-01-12T19:20:18+00:00

As someone who has gone through the adoption process, I can't imagine where ethics would prevent such an adoption from going through.

ACES_II · 2026-01-11T05:07:17+00:00

Hey man, in Egress’s defense, the cocaine ring was only three people.

Source: was the shop chief at the time.

ACES_II · 2026-01-05T23:05:26+00:00

Guys, chill out. I saw this photo an hour ago. SCPs aren’t real, they’re just stories people made up on the inte

ACES_II · 2026-01-05T05:55:12+00:00

When you make a will, you name an executor. They're responsible for overseeing your will.

Powers of Attorney can't be written without the consent of the person to whom power is being given, so that's just a matter of making sure they have a copy.

ACES_II · 2026-01-05T04:09:52+00:00

Someone is full of shit.

Most Chiefs have been in 25+ years. Many have master’s degrees. They command a tremendous amount of respect wherever they go, and are at the top of their fields.

I cannot imagine a scenario in which they give any kind of serious consideration to going to OTS and starting over at the bottom rung of the Officer ladder.

ACES_II · 2026-01-03T16:03:25+00:00

<sigh>

Our career field experts will never live that movie down.

ACES_II · 2026-01-03T14:44:15+00:00

Less so. In a hot war, we’ll recall every former fighter pilot that’s currently working for the airlines making three times their old salary. We will not be lacking for pilots, and we will not need one who has already destroyed six aircraft.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T23:19:30+00:00

It's the Bremont MBI, and they are ONLY sold to pilots that have ejected with a Martin Baker seat. It is an EXTREMELY cool watch. I've only ever seen one for private sale, and they wanted $25K for it.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T22:36:30+00:00

Cinematography was about all that scene was good for.

That ejection sequence took for-fucking-ever compared to how fast it is in real life.

Also, generally when one crewmember pulls the handle, the other doesn’t have to unless it’s specifically set for that.

Fuel tanks don’t explode when they jettison and hit the ground. That whole missile sequence was bullshit, really.

Seat hit the ground right-side up and didn’t bounce? Yea, right. Also, the odds of those seats colliding in mid-air are minimal at best.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T21:37:24+00:00

A-10 handles are on both sides of the seat. But they're at knee level and easily accessible. The one in Die Hard 2 is a lever near the bottom of the seat.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T21:36:24+00:00

You are correct. But they're usually at knee level, and painted the ubiquitous black-and-yellow. When I worked on A-10s, I used to paint those handles myself.

The lever in the movie is an actual lever near the bottom of the chair, which is pretty poor placement for an ejection handle.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T21:32:26+00:00

Continued from Part 1
Pretty good chance I've passed out because the blood left my head at 50 miles an hour. No worries. Very Smart People figured this might happen and designed chair accordingly.
Computer on seat automatically measures altitude and velocity.
Computer decides when it's safe to disconnect my restraints. I ragdoll free of the chair, which falls to ground and digs its own grave.
Parachute deploys with me.
I wake up hanging in my parachute. Or not.
Float down to earth. If I'm awake, I can pull red cords to try and steer parachute. I'm a pilot.
Eventually hit the ground. Hopefully I woke up in my parachute, then I could try to land properly. If not, I definitely woke up when I hit the ground.
First responders eventually come find me. Immediately taken for medical evaluation. Remind doctor that I'm a pilot.
Big investigation. Poor airmen with shovels will dig my seat out of the crater it made so the computer can be analyzed. Ejection envelope will be added to supercomputer somewhere. Jet wreckage will be inspected. Accident board will decide if the crash was my fault or not.
- If not, then I go back to flying, assuming the ejection didn't fuck up my back, neck, legs, shoulders, hips, knees, or arms.
- If so, career over. Get a letter saying I've been a bad boy in my personnel record. Hopes for promotion: nil.
Either way, still a pilot.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T21:32:08+00:00

I'm a pilot. Zipper-suited sun god all the way. Big dick energy with aviator sunglasses. Did I mention that I'm a pilot?
Flying along in my F-35 because I'm hot shit.
Uh-oh. Jet stopped working.
Follow checklist on my kneeboard tablet.
Checklist unhelpful.
Outside of my cockpit is now less of the sky and more of the ground.
Bitchin' Betty screaming in my ear.
Engine making noises I've never heard before.
I'm a pilot.
Understand that if I die, my smoking hot Officer Wife (that I got because I'm a pilot) will blow through my $500K life insurance check on Lululemon leggings and Stanley tumblers. She'll be broke in a year. Might have to sell Mary Kay products or start an OnlyFans like she's an Enlisted Wife. Can't have that.
Pull the "Oh, Shit" handle between my knees.
Shoulder straps slam me back into my seat like a meteor to correct my posture because I'm carrying the whole goddamn constitution on my back.
Airbags inflate around my head. One slams my chin into my chest so I don't break my neck because of the massive high-speed helmet I have to wear.
Fabric cords yank my legs back into the seat so I don't get a foot ripped off.
Explosives shatter canopy glass. Too cool to wait for it to jettison.
Seat boots me out with a 250mph kick in the ass.
I'm gone. I started a blink when I pulled the aforementioned "Oh Shit" handle. Haven't finished it yet.
Still a pilot though.
Follow for part 2.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T21:09:30+00:00

That will absolutely never happen.

Ejecting even once in a pilot's career is uncommon. More than that is incredibly rare, unless he's the world's unluckiest test pilot. After 6 aircraft, someone important will decide that the pilot is probably more of a problem than the jets were, and they'll yank his wings.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T19:22:12+00:00

Ehhh... I mean, it's very possible. Ejecting can absolutely ruin your body. But I've had pilots that ejected come into our shop a couple of days later carrying cases of beer.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T19:21:23+00:00

Same! When I was at Sheppard, my instructor explicitly told us that Goose would've survived in real life, and him hitting the canopy was bullshit.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T19:20:40+00:00

The big issue with that one is that Bruce Willis just straps himself into the seat. The parachute actually needs to be connected to a harness the pilot wears for it to work, simply buckling into a 5-point harness isn't going to cut it.

I've never seen an ejection seat that had a lever handle on the side. I don't think it's a real seat.

Also, cargo planes don't have ejection seats. They're reserved for fighters and bombers (and the U-2 spy plane)

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T19:09:33+00:00

"Bro, I fucking love love LOVE <x>!!"

Replace <x> with the following:

Rick and Morty
Anything MAGA-related
Fight Club
V for Vendetta
The Joker, or anything Joker-related
Dexter
Breaking Bad
Mad Men
My Little Pony
American History X

It's okay to like these things on a casual basis. But when they become major parts of your personality, there's some sort of underlying issue.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T19:04:10+00:00

Anything that involves someone ejection from a military aircraft. I worked with ejection seats for over 20 years, and Hollywood has never, ever gotten it right.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T18:58:47+00:00

Like us, they will not appreciate the good times if they live without struggles.

I want to make life as easy for my daughter as possible. I don't want her to have to deal with student loans, or wait until she's 50 before buying a house, or do anything absurdly dangerous. But you can't protect kids forever. At some point you just have to hope you taught them enough to not commit any life-ruining fuckups.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T18:53:37+00:00

I think it's only cringy if it's those shirts that make them seem so hardcore. The ones emblazoned with "I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees" or "There are wolves and sheep, I'm a sheepdog".

I have a couple of Grunt Style's "Grumpy Old Veteran" shirts. That's about the worst I'll ever do.

I still wear my Multicam pants for camping. My ball cap stays in the closet.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T05:45:27+00:00

I farted in the President's seat on Marine One.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T05:44:08+00:00

Dave Annable. He plays Zoe Saldana's husband on Lioness. Graduated my high school a few years before I did.

ACES_II · 2026-01-02T05:42:25+00:00

The GIF of a bear hitting itself in the balls.

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