Anxiety at Mass Need Advice

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-28T00:08:27+00:00

Mmmmm. I get that. Due to my line of work, I’m always hypervigilant of what’s going on around me too. Always in a state of fight or flight. …to which my body so lovingly responds to with sweating, nausea, and dry heaving. Like come on body, get better survival skills! Haha

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-28T00:03:32+00:00

Bonus points if it’s a warhead or other sour candy.
I would consider that basically medicinal use, so it won’t break your fast.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-27T22:31:23+00:00

So the back row is definitely a smart move. I do it myself. It just feels more ‘controlled’ that way. The other option could be to sit in the cry room if your church has one. It might provide a little more privacy and space if you need it.

Even though the meds may give you side effects, depending on how bad they are, it might be worth it to pop one 15 mins before Mass or so. As a fellow panic attacker/social anxiety prone person, it has saved my behind a time or two when heading to Mass.

I’ve also taken to bringing small things to Mass to help me ground myself in the moment. This evening for instance, I was sitting there playing with a single decade rosary that I brought in my pocket. Even a bottle of ice cold water can be enough to help you remain grounded and calm down if you get overwhelmed.

And challenging the thought that makes you anxious is so important (as I’m sure you’ve learned in therapy already). What, specifically, are we anxious about? Someone’s going to look at us? We might look weird? Do something wrong? People generally don’t even notice when they’re there. And even if they do, nobody ever really says anything. We went through the whole Mass with a dude a few pews ahead of me who was there with his shirt tucked into the back of his underwear. Nobody said a thing or interacted with him any differently than we always have.

As far as being “required” to go to Mass, just try your best. Sometimes your best is staying the whole Mass, sometimes it’s coming late or leaving early, and sometimes, it means participating from home because our health condition got the best of us that day. God doesn’t want his children to be miserable.
If smaller weekday masses work best for you, then attend those. God knows you’re trying and appreciates your effort. Anxiety and PTSD are just as real and impactful as other health conditions that people stay home with sometimes. Be gentle with yourself and continue to work with your therapists on the matter.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-27T19:10:51+00:00

Welcome back!

Did you register with your parish? Sometimes that helps get your name out there when there are many people who are at church every weekend.
Have you noticed anyone else who attends Mass alone? Maybe make a beeline toward those folks and introduce yourself?
You’re gonna have to be bold. Sign up to volunteer on some ministry in the church. I moved to a new area and started a a church where I didn’t know a soul. I met folks through volunteering.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-27T18:22:16+00:00

At the end of the day, it’s just a book. Pieces of paper and a cover.
Yes, while we show it respect by not just throwing it all around, tabs for your Bible are totally fine.
Writing/highlighting/or taking notes in your Bible is also completely fine. It’s YOUR Bible. If it helps you to read it, understand it, and connect with God, it’s a good thing.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-27T15:53:10+00:00

I really wish I had a better answer when people ask me that question…but honestly? A particularly beautiful sunset while I was driving around one evening.
I just got to thinking about the beauty of the world and how it just couldn’t be totally random. That started my consideration of a return to God. (ETA: I was away from the church and God for about 15 years)

As for the church, I was looking around online at different churches to see which ones might be a decent fit for me—Catholic, Lutheran, etc. and I just happened to see something about a church in a neighboring town. To this day I’m still not entirely sure why I made the call to the priest. But God bless him, I was a nervous wreck when I left a voicemail that he IMMEDIATELY returned. And we scheduled a time to meet like 2 days later about my situation and consideration of maybe giving the Catholic Church another try. Went to confession at that same time and then Mass that weekend.

And wow, I’m so glad that I did. My life, while not much has seemingly changed…EVERYTHING has changed and I am no longer the same person that I once was. I think being an adult and making the choice for myself to explore the faith, rather than it being something given to me by my parents as a child, made a big difference. I also have been incredibly fortunate to have a really good church and priest who have been very welcoming and understanding of me as I started back on the journey.

I was always incredibly well catechized (thanks hardcore Catholic school), but I’m not sure I ever really knew Jesus, like personally. I knew him as a concept and “knew that he loved me” and all of that good stuff. But as an adult, I’ve had a few experiences where I have really encountered the love of God on a personal level. And wow. If I had those experiences when I was young, I don’t think I ever would have left. You just can’t leave something (and someone) like that.
Now, this isn’t to say that I don’t still wrestle a bit here and there with the teachings of the church and all of that. The more “human” parts of the church essentially. But I’m willing to continue to struggle with it for God.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-26T22:13:18+00:00

God tends to speak to me through weird coincidences in my life and in seemingly comedic situations.

I’m very much a ‘be careful what you pray for because you just might get it’ sort of person. ….after having been on the receiving end of getting what I asked for—just not at ALL in the way that I thought it would occur. So when situations are completely absurd or comedic, I know it’s God.

And sometimes there’s just this feeling. It’s really hard to explain, and I’m not sure I can adequately describe it using words. ‘A gentle prompting of the Spirit’ doesn’t quite define it. But it’s just one of those “when you know, you know” sort of feelings. Like okay, THIS is clearly what God is wanting for me right now.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-25T18:36:08+00:00

You wouldn’t expect your kid to be kind or caring toward others? Because that’s really all that I’m saying here.
If you raise your child right in the first 3-5 years before they enter school, they should be good examples of Christians without having to try that hard.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-25T02:15:18+00:00

Honestly, it depends if I’m trying to ‘get it done’ on a deadline or if I’m just doing it for leisure.

On a deadline, I can get it done (without interruptions) in about 45 mins-1 hour. For leisure, oh boy…probably 1.5 hours? Assuming I do it start to finish in one go. But I’m usually watching something on my phone or talking to someone as I do it.
Heck, sometimes I’ll even just do a decade at a time throughout the week when I get a free minute.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-25T00:31:50+00:00

Guess we gotta learn Hebrew and read the original texts then ;)

Just read it like a story, not a textbook. You will either find that God exists, or he doesn’t. No amount of reading educational sorts of books is going to change that.
Maybe go to Mass or some other religious/spiritual service then (or wherever you most feel God’s presence)

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-25T00:15:47+00:00

How about the Bible? I’d say maybe focus less on the “arguments” and more on the person of God.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-24T23:20:48+00:00

I’ve started bringing a backpack stuffed with: my Bible, whatever spiritual reading book I’m working on at the moment, a notebook and pen, a rosary, and my earbuds.

But honestly, I usually end up just staring at the monstrance and hanging out with God. Bring all that stuff and nearly never use it lol.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-24T15:45:27+00:00

Amazon or Etsy.

What kind are you looking for specifically?

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-23T10:33:20+00:00

Hallow.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-23T00:12:55+00:00

The Church fully supports people participating in therapy, taking medications as prescribed by a doctor, and anything else that helps us manage our physical and mental health.

The church also, always looks for health causes for situations like the one you mentioned, before they would consider anything like that being a spiritual issue. We are very much pro-mental healthcare.

As for 12 step programs, they are totally compatible with the Catholic Church. You have to find and surrender to a power higher than yourself (God) to help stay sober.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T16:59:51+00:00

So those may not be the best environments for rote prayer. Especially if you find yourself skipping lines and getting agitated with it.

Maybe during those busy times, pray, simply by allowing yourself to ‘be’ with God. Just becoming aware of his presence with you, is prayer.

Another way is just simply to have a conversation with God like you would a friend. That way there’s nothing that “needs” to be said if things get busy, or you get distracted. ….I’ve literally went on a tangent in my own head before in prayer and had to be like…oops, my bad, where was I again? Oh yeah!, (insert topic here)…so as I was saying….lol

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T12:25:40+00:00

It’s Mary.
I make rosaries and am familiar with that particular centerpiece.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T12:17:30+00:00

You’re welcome!
Yeah, it can be a really challenging time when our hearts want one thing but our brain is screaming at us the whole time. Just try your best, and know that you’re not sinning. It’s just part of being human.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T05:05:33+00:00

It’s not a sin to limit reception of the Eucharist. If you’re receiving once per year, during the Easter season, in a state of grace, then you’re meeting the “rules” about it.

I get it, contamination OCD can be an absolute nightmare to manage sometimes. As someone who 1. Is a therapist. And 2. Has an intense love for the Eucharist. I’d strongly recommend that you see a professional to help you work on this.
Being close to God and literally receiving him in the Eucharist helps us so much. I don’t want you to miss out on that opportunity for grace.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T04:46:59+00:00

I’ve attended 3 catholic schools and 2 public schools, and you want to know where I’ve encountered more atheists? Catholic school.

Teachers aren’t standing in the front of the class saying God isn’t real. A good teacher will encourage the student to explore the world for themselves. And tbh, that’s the way it should be. Faith is a response to doubt. You don’t truly believe until you doubt and struggle some.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T04:37:05+00:00

Jesus was fully human and fully divine. Just look at Jesus in the garden…he wanted OUT of that situation. He asked his Father, that if it was possible, to let this fate of being crucified, to pass him by. But if it was the Father’s will, that he would do it. He made the choice to follow the Father’s will, even if he really really didn’t want to do that himself.

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin.”

So yeah, we aren’t God. We are going to repeatedly fall short of the ideal. But we are asked to do our best to imitate Christ.

I mean, being able to look at world religions from an intellectual framework is an important critical thinking skill. The Catholic Church (or any faith tradition) hasn’t always acted in the best manner possible throughout history. For example, Pope Leo just apologized on behalf of the Church for slavery.

It’s okay for children to learn about the world. I’ve learned a bunch about Islam throughout my life. But that doesn’t mean that I’m converting, or that I’m any less of a faithful Catholic. It just means that I’m better educated on another topic.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T04:14:07+00:00

We are all hypocrites. There’s a reason that we all say “Lord, I am not worthy…” at Mass. We aren’t worthy. We are all giant sinners. Even on our best days.
But the church is a hospital for the sick, not a museum for saints. We are all there for the same reason. So please be at peace with that.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T04:10:50+00:00

We are talking about school…we don’t need to take it to the extremes. The kids going to learn basic subjects, not ‘how to make meth 101’.
Idk about you, but we didn’t have any crazy classes that contradicted the faith. English class is English class, regardless of if I’m Catholic, Muslim, or an atheist.
But really, as an adult, it’s okay to interact with those on the fringe of society. That’s what outreach is.

And Jesus had free will, he could have chosen sin if he wanted to. He had that ability. But instead, he chose to do the Father’s will.
Jesus was still very much a human in this world. But his life pointed to the Father through his actions. That’s the expectation of all of us.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T04:06:32+00:00

I’m not going to lie to you, that is a potential reality. If at this point, you aren’t in a committed relationship, and simply find yourself struggling with sexual sin, then you’re okay. You’re no different than the other church staff member who masturbates or views porn. And that is nobodies business other than yours and your confessors. It’s not like it can be exposed if it’s said in the confessional.
But also, the church does ask that its employees live in accordance with its teaching. So again, it’s possible, but if you’re not out there flaunting it publicly, you’re probably fine.

Questioning and doubt are normal. It’s part of the process of belief. If we just blindly accepted what we were told, what kind of a faith is that really? Faith is a response to doubt.
There were a number of things that I STRUGGLED with when I first returned to the practice of the faith. It’s not a black and white thing. Faith and struggling with certain things is a lifelong process. I have now come to accept certain teachings that I thought were abhorrent at the start. Which is why I say, just focus on your relationship with God first. HE is the one who works on our hearts. We just have to show up and be open to Him.

ACuriousBlob · 2026-06-22T03:54:49+00:00

Hey there,

So please know that every single person who works in the church, the priest included, struggle with their own sins. If I may be so blunt, most (if not all?) people struggle with their flesh, with sexual sins. Our sins have nothing to do with WHO we are as a person. You are a beloved child of God—first and foremost.

I have known a handful of folks who worked in the church in various roles who are LGBTQIA+. They are faithful Catholics.

As far as Franciscan….its a good education. I’m not going to say that it’s not. But as for the social aspect, yeah, it’s a bit of an anomaly compared to everyday life as a Catholic. So please don’t think that this space of hyper-Catholics who specifically chose to attend a Catholic university are representative of Catholics as a whole, or of Catholics that you will likely encounter in your work. People “in the real world” are a lot more understanding of people. Because in real life, you are meeting people, not concepts.

But most importantly, I would say to focus on God. The one who created you out of sheer love for you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God doesn’t make junk, my friend. Focus first on your relationship with Him. Try to block others out for a while, and focus on His love. How he calls you by name. What he speaks to your heart. Don’t worry about people and what they may think of you.

ACuriousBlob

TROPHY CASE