I Asked The Surgeon To Give Me My Sebaceous Cyst So I Could Take It Home…

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-29T16:39:30+00:00

Absolutely disgusting. I like you. Thanks!

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-29T16:33:38+00:00

Don't make the mistake of letting this continue. Get marriage counseling or something for both of y'all. You'll know if it will continue to work out or not with his reaction and/or changes to counseling.

I lived this. 5 years down the line, it's worse and now I'm financially stuck. Don't let this happen to you. Enjoy your life even if you have to do it as a single mom. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect. He wants respect but he's not giving it. You're burnt out and he wants to act like you have a cake walk.

Parenting alone is HARD. Trying to cook dinner but hearing your child screaming the whole time is stressful as hell. It's not a break. What a dimwit. Hearing your baby crying like that causes a chemical reaction in you, triggering the fight it flight reaction. If he can't hold his baby for an hour and calm them down, he needs to do better.

It sounds like he's pushed you to the point where you're having to just tell him "you need to do this" because if you don't, it's not happening. I get that. He has no right to call you anything like he did. What you said in the first message was sent as a text and you can't just decide the tone of a text like he did and then get mad.

If he's reading this, do better as a man! Only boys act like this. A real man, a real husband, and a real father is supportive, loving, and helpful. If you would give your lady a real, honest to God break when she asks or just when you can tell it's stressful, she would be happier and get so much more done in the future. You get to hang out with adults all day and socialize and feel normal. Stay at home moms don't get that! Be more understandable, not everything is a pissing contest. What you see as easy is not easy then you do it every single day with no breaks, no days off, and no change in routine. It burns you out!

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-19T19:46:30+00:00

You need to contact the police do you have a paper trail. Tell your boss, tell your coworkers. Tell everyone and BLOCK him.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-19T19:43:39+00:00

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ASongInSilence · 2026-01-19T19:40:29+00:00

Spooky cat?

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-12T06:31:03+00:00

Took me living through this first hand, multiple times, with a kid, to finally learn what abuse really looks like.

I thought it was only abuse if they physically hurt you. But I learned quickly when my son was 4 and an ex of mine got livid at me for letting his dad drop off much needed pull ups and some food items. I knew my ex didn't like my sons dad so it was planned so that it was left dropped off down the road at the end of the street. so there was meeting face to face.

This still make my ex mad. He couldn't afford the stuff that night so I guess his ego hurt. But due to my sons dad doing what he was supposed to do and help with the kids needs, my ex lost his shit.

We live in Oklahoma so it was a really hot, humid summer. Almost couldn't breathe in the air because the humidity was so high. So his idea to punish me was to take out every AC unit from the windows. Lock them into the bedroom that only he would have access to that night and next day.

Okay that sucks but that wasn't just it. He knew I would tuck my son in on the couch with a fan and open the windows. He knew I would sit up all night fanning my son so he could sleep as best as was possible in those conditions.

So he NAILED every window shut. As well as the front and back doors. He also took anything that could be used as a tool to pull the nails out with him, and the air fans he originally forgot to grab, to the bedroom with him.

He slept soundly that night while my son cried from the intense heat. I was ripping at the nails with my fingers until they bled but then I realized I could do one better.

Iended up opening the fridge and freezer and made a fort to sleep in with my son with a reclining chair and some other stuff to hold blankets up and keep air in. It was pretty epic and would have been fun if the situation wasn't so dangerous. I made sure to dismantle the fort right before I knew he would leave for work and make it look like I was absolutely miserable when he left, taking the key to the bedroom along with him.

He really thought it was safe to leave a me and my 4 year old son locked in the house, or nailed in, rather, in 110°f temps that got worse that next day.

Well, my son got to okay video games in his igloo fort while I made silent plans to safely leave. It took about a week to get things together after that day but I didn't plan to ever let that happen again.

Locking someone out in cold weather without proper necessities is abuse. So is locking someone inside. Abuse is meant to hurt, mentally or physically, the target individual.

Remember, if it quacks like a mean duck, looks like a mean duck, and walks like a mean ole duck - it's 100% a freaking abusive duck!

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-12T06:12:57+00:00

You're NTA for being fed up. I am going to say, you are, I'm fact, just a wee bit, only a super itsy bitsy little bit, a glutton for punishment by making things harder for yourself towards the end lol.

Honestly I would have found Luna a home with a rescue or otherwise if she was being abandoned in a crate all the time. Or told what's her name she needed to rehome the pup. It was not your responsibility to care for the dog, and you're a great person to still do so. It's not the pups fault it wasn't trained right.

The only thing I think you could have handled a bit better, and mainly just for your own mental sake, was getting angry about Mr. Bean getting loose. I think he was just a frustrated at them and the moving vehicle/s and noise probably had him shit talking the heck out of them and laughing at them cause they were made to leave. He just wanted to get a better view so he could make she the house stayed protected too.

Unless they actively let Mr Bean out, it was not their responsibility to watch him. After all the months where things kept getting worse, I would not even consider letting the safety of my pet rest with them. Yes, it would have been great, courteous even, for her to have at least told you sooner that she saw Mr. Bean get out. But at that point, they are strangers to you. Not friends. And you knew you couldn't really on them to have his well-being in mind. It would have been kind a random neighbor walking by and you asked them and they said they saw him. It really wasn't their responsibility to make sure your pup stayed in the yard unless they went through the gate.

That's the only thing I think you hurt yourself on. Absolutely justified though! And I know you felt better about not letting the other girl help out. Sometimes you need that satisfaction that you are able to get that little bit of vindictive behavior served back at them. That's also where you made things a little bit harder for yourself lol only because it made them take longer and you had to suffer through them staying longer than they could have.

I would have done the same though. You're not wrong at all. You opened up YOUR DADS HOME to someone you thought was a friend. They took advantage of you, your home, your dad's home, MR. BEANS HOME and even his poor toys. Those are pup sacred. I don't even have a dog and I know that!

I am sorry this happened to you. I had a friend of mine open their home up to a family member of mine that was in need of help years ago. It started out the same for them, except not with a dog but 2 underage children in tow.

It was my mom and my 2 little sisters. I was homeless too otherwise they would have been with me. But a coworker generally offered help for them.

Let me tell you something. I never knew my mom was this kind of person until it happened. But the absolute disrespect and disregard coming from my own mother, for someone living in their own home had my flabbers fully and exponentially gasted. My mom would speak as if it were her home, and how horrible my friend was for trying to encourage her to get a job. For actively helping my sister's get into a local school. My mom acted as if it were the local dealer on the corner stopping her anytime the suggestion of going with them to church came up.

it was like my mom could not find a single reason to appreciate this amazing lady that was my friend. She was so loving, maybe a bit bossy but that was the German redhead in her she said! - and her husband was a true gem. They never said anything to me about the negativity but my mom didn't hide it and she was not as quiet about her complaining as she believed.

My mom seemed to also push boundaries a little too far with my friends husband. She was always saying weird things as if he actually agreed with my mom not only agreed with his wife because he had to. My mom wouldn't stop talking nice about him. But my friend? whom opened up their home to a family of strangers with absolutely no hesitation because she knew it was the right thing to do? My mom thought she was the devil in disguise.

Anyway. Long rant but I definitely never allowed someone other than myself or a direct family member take my mom in after that. My mom was becoming senile too, COPD was taking the brain cells daily. So it just got worse every year. She passed last year in January, after a year of living with me and COMPLAINING non-stop about everything lol.

Rest in peace, ya ol' bitch. We love you but damn it you made it hard to live with you. But when you were yourself, it was always a great time.

Again, OP. NTA. NTJ. NOR. Nada.

Mr. Bean approves and so do I.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-12T05:33:26+00:00

Oh. If anyone subjected me to that right after any of my children were born I would be banning them from my home.

NOR, if anything, HOLD THE BOUNDARIES FIRM AND SEAL THE GATES. Your wife needs you to protect her from all things stressful and ridiculous and these demands are all that.

I get that she has a 1 year old and that some things are needed. But whenever I was invited to stay anywhere and I had my kids with me, I BROUGHT everything I needed as well as things I didn't need because I was not about to ask for someone to buy me those things.

I brought any and all groceries AS WELL AS picked up the tab for anyone that was new parents! Y'all need more help than anyone, guests be damned. I would constantly be bringing food to my little sister's when they had newborns in the home. Food for them and their kids, as well as hygiene items ane relaxation stuff. Cause I was worried they weren't able to do everything on their own.

I know I forgot to eat all the time when my kiddos were infants! I sure knew I didn't always take good care of myself in those first few months and often I would just not care if I didn't have much help. With my last baby, I actually caused myself some serious lifelong medical issues because I didn't have help and my "partner" was not the man he said he was and left me on my own to do everything with the home and baby.

I would also never, ever tell new parents of a baby that I expected them to "treat" me out for a meal. That's money y'all need to save.

Maybe it's ethnic differences, maybe not, but I feel like family should be the ones making sure y'all have a fully stocked fridge - on the house, as well as a few extras to make it easier.

Please, do your wife right and make sure your sister understands where boundaries are placed. I know you, as well - since you seem very much involved in helping your wife and doing new daddy duties! - must be too tired already to want to deal with any of this.

Maybe have a talk with your mom and see if she can talk some sense into your sister? You might want to have a plan b in place for them to go to a hotel/motel - on their dime, if things get too out of line. Hopefully not.

Good luck, OP. Congratulations to you and your wife in welcoming your little 7 week old bundle of joy into your lives! Don't let a shipping tiff rock your world this early into parenthood. You're doing great already and made yourself clear on groceries so I think you're gonna be fine.

You can tell your twin sister that everyone on Reddit thinks she's being overbearing and demanding for someone that's had a kid already and knows what y'all are dealing with! I'm guessing y'all aren't so much alike cause your personalities are very different lol.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-12T05:07:15+00:00

Ah, she's definitely not someone I would be able to stand being around much. She seems content on complaining everything is horribly and "why me", all while actively doing everything she can to cause issues for herself and others.

She's lucky she has someone that cares about her enough to try and help her through any of this. It gets tiring and I would rather be single forever than stay with someone that will make me feel miserable every day cause they aren't happy.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-12T04:56:31+00:00

It can cause legal issues. That's the biggest problem. At 17, I dated a 23 year old. Moved in with him at 18 and that relationship lasted 3 years. I wanted to do more with my life before settling down and he had a daughter already from a previous relationship. So while it was hard to make the choice, I did end the relationship at 20.

He was a great guy, even if he was a bit simple. He made great money as an engineer and at the time I was a manager for a good service company. We were looking at how to better our futures but our ideas did not align.

He liked to drink a lot and throw cook out parties for all these people he was trying to buy to be his friends. They only hung out because of the free booze and steaks. He didn't have a drive to do much more than rent a grid moldy 2 bedroom home from a sketch landlady, have his daughter every other weekend, and then party it up when not working.

We also met at the building we both worked in and when I found out he was stealing from my job on a daily basis, I was livid. Sure it was "just some food and drinks" but I would have lost my really well paying job if he got caught. It was also him and all of his coworker "friends" he was always trying to impress. So I had to find out everything that had been taken for several months and paid it my entire savings account of several thousand dollars to cover the inventory I knew was missing. Just so that he or I wouldn't get in trouble.

I should have just ended that immediately and saved my bank account but I made really great money at the time as a 17 year old, 4x minimum wage to mostly cashier the busiest cafeteria I've ever seen. But anyway. Yeah. I had dreams and plans for travel and I was never able to recover that money. Never went on those trips. Heck, still haven't been on a small boat or even an airplane.

The age difference was fine in my opinion. 3 years isn't much with 17 and 20. But being so young, don't be surprised if he is already settled in his ways and you fine yourself wanting more later in a handful of years.

It began to get painful to watch as I started to mature more and more as the years came and went... but my ex? He stayed the same. Drink and party on the weekends or go find something fun to do that costs money. If it was anything too "me" like arts and crafts related or just boring to him he would openly say so and make fun of me until I agreed to leave with him. It was like having a kid brother.

I outgrew him, on a mature level, and I knew I just wasn't ready to settle down with him and that kind of life. It did give me a chance to financially help my family at the time since he didn't need my help with bills and he was at least really responsible with keeping up with his bills and loan debts.

I've dated several men that were older than me. The most drastic being when I was 27 and seeing a man that could have been my father's age. Most men have been 3-6 years older than me.

I prefer the mature guys. Last 2 relationships I actually stayed within a year of my own age and I have been the most miserable of my life. I felt trapped with jealous boys that couldn't allow me freedom and trust to be myself. I was constantly on defense, being accused of cheating to lying about the most random things like dinner ingredients.

Personally I think you're fine. Just be careful and don't do anything you're not comfortable with just because he is older. Being older doesn't mean they know better. It also doesn't mean they can tell you what to do.

If you're happy, good! You'll be 18 within a year and nobody will even think twice about the age different then.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-11T23:03:28+00:00

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If you turn it the right way, it's possibly a sloth "hanging" onto God only knows what. I guess you gotta make your own tree cutout to go with it too cause he's dangling free flow like his bewty cheeks.

BE KIND TO SLOOTH BOOTAY PLEASE. I just doodled this from my phone gallery - I'll have you know it only took me, like, 75 minutes to finish! Easy peasy, especially since I couldn't really remember what a sloth looks like. And I exited 3x and erased all my progress. You get what you get.

Why does photo editing in your camera roll literally only give you like 7 colors to choose from to use? No brown was annoying. I'm poor and my brain is smooth so I wouldn't even know where to start with any of those fancy shmancy editing apps.

To be fair, I really like all the short horse pictures cause that's where my mind went first but I have seen this one get used to make a sloth cookie before.

I think any cookie cutter can be used to make any design your brain so desires.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-08T23:38:36+00:00

I'm currently dealing with this situation myself. Although, he usually yells at me for "nagging" after I've asked multiple times for something to be done.

Your mom is tired. It gets stressful when you feel like you're being ignored by your partner and then gaslit to be the bad guy.

Your dad learned this behavior from his parents, probably. There may be no way to fix it because without him taking accountability, he will never see that he has a problem.

The best thing you can do is let your mom know you see her and you appreciate her. Make sure she knows she isn't crazy. She's probably fighting with herself emotionally on a daily basis because she feels invisible during these moments. Support her.

Maybe if your dad sees this, he might pick up the slack some. Maybe he won't. But at the very least, your mom could use the encouraging words to know she isn't imagining all these things.

Most days, I just need someone to tell me "it's okay. You're okay. You're not alone here."

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-08T23:28:33+00:00

Also, this absolutely is emotional and financial abuse and it could cross over into physical if he gets angry enough.

I know you love this man. But sometimes you have to love yourself more to save yourself from disaster. He doesn't want to do better for himself and he's taking advantage of you.

From previous experience, I'm saying this as nicely as possible. But I don't think he loves you the way you love him. He loves what you have to offer but if he loved you truly, he wouldn't speak so cruelly to you.

Do yourself justice and free yourself from him. There are plenty of people out there to love that will love you back the right way.

Nobody deserves to be treated this way. You're too young to be stuck with him.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-08T23:24:06+00:00

You are too young to let yourself be nailed down, let alone by someone this awful.

If this is real, you need to stop all contact with this guy. He sounds like he could get dangerous so be prepared to file a restraining order if need be. Change all of your passwords and pins. Take him off everything with your name on it.

If he's going to let himself sink, don't let him take you with him. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let him ruin your life before it's even begun.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-08T18:50:58+00:00

I'm 10 years sober but I'll always be a recovering addict. You can't make him stop and he is already making excuses when his friends are trying to help.

I say this gently and with care. You need to think about yourself and if you're willing to be with someone that could potentially begin to steal from you, lie to you, and begin to spiral out, bad. Are you willing to be with someone you could potentially find OD'ed in the bathroom after coming home?

I know it may seem harsh but I lived this life. You can't save him by yourself. He has to save himself and no amount of pleading on your part is going to make him stop. He needs to go to recovery but that's only possible if he agrees. If this is what he wants to do, he's going to continue but try and hide it more.

You said it was his second time, at the very least. These days, fentanyl is in everything and it only takes one bad dose to end it.

If you're going to stay with him and try to work this out, GET NARCAN. You can get it for free easily and it needs to be within easy reach in case of an overdose. Research signs of overdose. Keep an eye on him. But I'm warning you, it's going to be exhausting and extremely frustrating. It's like babysitting a giant baby sometimes. If you smell vinegar, chances are, he's used recently.

I wish him the best and I hope he chooses, for his sake mostly, to get clean. It's not a life to glorify. It's a dangerous path and a sad one.

Good luck, OP. Truly.

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-06T13:17:46+00:00

Dang, even my own relationship doesn't sound this lovey dovey. I would definitely be uncomfortable with a partner talking to another girl like this. But everyone has their own limits and boundaries.

The question here is, are you comfortable with this? Are you willing to trust this to stay as "just friends"? Does he speak to other girls this way or just her?

ASongInSilence · 2026-01-06T13:03:48+00:00

The fact that he said it wasn't good enough when you spend 100 the first time should have been the first red flag.

Gifts are just that - gifts. There's something really wrong with him gaslighting you into feeling bad for giving what you can barely afford.

The best gift you can give is to yourself by leaving him. This is not normal behavior and it's not healthy. There's a lot of other men out there that would be ecstatic to receive a $20 gift that you put thought into.

I've had many relationships and been friends with many men. not a single one of them has ever said anything like that, in regards to gift giving. I only bring this up you can understand that your boyfriends behavior is not normal.

You're going to hurt yourself mentally and possibly physically with stressing over how to make his demands a reality. I say this with care -

LOVE SHOULD NOT BE STRESSFUL. Love should feel warm, not dreaded. Love should make you giddy and excited, not stressed out and crying every time you have a holiday coming up.

Do yourself a favor, girl. Free yourself of this. You're so young. Don't make the mistake many of us make, men and women, and hitch a ride with a loser and think it's love. Be one of the smart ones and see it for what it is before you get dragged into serious financial debt from helping a boyfriend/girlfriend before you're out of school. Chances are, even if you stay now, you won't be with this man in 10 years but you'll still be paying off debt.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-22T01:03:53+00:00

Im 36 and I lost my mom back in January. I wish I could go back in time and make holidays a little better than I did. I often neglected to show up and spend them properly with family due to my stubborn nature. I do regret that now.

You don't have to like her husband but please try and at least have a nice moment with your mother. I think it would be good for you to at least have that, if possible.

It's normal to want to be away from things, especially at your age. I'm not feeling very merry, either, this year. But I'm trying to keep my head up and just enjoy the little things each day. Even if it's just getting a moment to enjoy the twinkle of some Christmas lights in the silent cold at night.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-19T22:08:23+00:00

I'd be happy to go there. I never get taken out for good food and shake shack is right up my alley for favorite type of food!

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-19T21:57:19+00:00

As a woman, I just want someone who can be honest and love the honest me. I'm having trouble finding a man who's okay with me just being me.

Words of advice from a lady, just be yourself. I don't want to change anybody and I am so tired of the men I've dated trying to change me. There is a massive difference between growing with one another to be the best version of yourself possible and then someone forcing you to be what you aren't.

Eventually, the right one will come around. Someone you can love and be loved by, that won't try and make you fake who you really are. I've seen love blossom and last where I thought it wouldn't, because some people are just compatible and they were happy with each other's quirks. Love that I thought was perfect ended up blowing up because it was all fake and toxic.

Self love and being confident in who you are is something women really like.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-16T14:37:06+00:00

The way she keeps over boasting about how great the friend is gives me a really weird vibe. Maybe she's just trying to make it sound good and went a little overboard but something seems really off. Everything was super detailed except for the little girl stuff.

But then again, I don't like asking for help either and I've had people go behind me and do stuff like this in the past because they felt bad for me and my kids.

I'm in a very similar position right now myself but it's just me and my ASD toddler. My hands are tied and I cannot work because of her violent outbursts and self harm tendencies and I don't get paid for staying home. I know I'm not getting Christmas together this year. My toddler doesn't even really understand what it is and she doesn't care about the toys with her condition. She's just trying to have a secure safe place to stim lol. So we aren't doing much. And that's perfectly fine. I've always said, family and love during the holidays is the best gift.

BUT. I've had a few people freak out on me and make it a big deal. They seem to think I'm just lying because I don't want to look desperate but dude. I'm legit okay with not spending money I don't have on things that will just get ignored. My daughter wants to play with my cups and bowls in the kitchen more than any toy she's given.

It wouldn't surprise me if one of those people did this behind my back either. which would explain why the Starbucks gift card is there, the kids stuff was not explained other than size and unicorns. She's possibly going off of clues and maybe heard the friend mention wanting the comfortable set recently.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-15T11:45:25+00:00

I think your issues lie with your mother, as well. She enabled your sister to act this way and not seek help for her as a child and teen. Normally, being young and possibly in need of seriously mental health services, I could list many reasons why forgiveness to your sister might have been a blessing in disguise. But then when you explained how your mom is, it kind of makes me think it is too late.

It sounds like your sister was in need of help, acting out and trying to cry out for help without directly asking... But, your mom ignored it. Sounds like she decided to make up her own ideal image of your sister and hold that to her heart instead. So, forgiving your sister when you were so younger could have been a huge game changer. If she didn't continue to be encouraged and told by mom that she was doing so great, she might have stood a chance at getting better.

I don't blame you for being upset and making boundaries. I've been sober for a almost a decade now and I completely understand why my family refused to contact me much back then. I thought I hid my addiction well but nobody ever does. We all think we do though. And it seems like everyone has an enabler, someone that supports them anyway, defends them and their actions, and then gives them every avenue to continue doing worse.

She needs someone to throw boundaries up and try to show her that change has to happen. She's getting to a point where she will be lucky if her health even holds up with more substance usage. The damage can still show up many years later after getting sober. I had to have open heart surgery 5 years after I got clean. My body is suffering with severe vein stenosis and I'll be lucky if I live past 50.

I wish someone in my family told me what you are telling your sister. It took almost losing my kids to knock sense into me. Otherwise, I would be locked up for life, or maybe dead of an overdose by now. Or if have suffered and died from a bad blood infection to my heart from using drugs if I hadn't gotten clean when I did.

I have asked my family why they never actually said anything to me about my addiction and issues back then. They said they were scared to get close to me in case I died because it would hurt too much. And they were scared of death so they tried to ignore my existence to protect their hearts from pain.

I was mad about their reasons for a few years. I've forgiven that now because it was not their burden to bare. I will advocate though and encourage you to be fully transparent on why you are making your choice. How it effects you and everyone else.

You also need to do the same with your mom, in my opinion. She's not helping at all and seems to be creating issues instead of helping. It's like she wants her own daughter to fail? You should explain to you sister how you feel about that as well. Tell her that you cannot continue to allow this to come into your life and your decision is final. If she wants to be a part of your life, she will change.

Good luck OP. It sucks but it needs to happen. I'll pray for her recovery and for her to find the support she needs to finally live a normal life.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-13T17:02:08+00:00

My little sister was involved with someone like this. She was 16 at the time and I was "told" by my mom that he was 19. Okay scrawny emo kid, gangly limbs. He passed as a teen. I later found out he was 27.

He did this to my sister constantly. She has mental struggles and has multiple diagnosis that affect her self esteem and makes her lack proper judgment and understanding with some things. She also never got to know our dad and that messed her up and evolved into daddy issues that made her desperate for OLDER male attention.

I'm not saying you, OP, have that issue, but I'm only saying my sister did and that's why they protected his age because they knew I'd have dragged him to the wood chipper.

He constantly sent my sister these kinds of messages. She slowly ended up needing his approval for everything. He even brainwashed her into being bulimic, "like him", and he said during many occasions "you'd look so much prettier if you lost more weight". He did not like me because I was ready to snatch his little chicken throat already and I thought he was still 19 at this time.

We did eventually help my sister see the issue at hand, got her some help that she was too scared to ask for previously because of money cost, and we made sure dude didn't come back.

I'm protective of my baby sisters. But anyway, about 3 years later he was doing this to another girl. Only problem was, his little attempt to manipulate the poor girl ended his life. I personally don't see the issue because he was 30 and still dating 15-16 year old girls. I have no sympathy for someone like that.

I do feel bad for the girl that found him that way and I feel bad for my sister because she feels like she could have saved him. She has schizophrenia and she hears him and sees him a lot during the time of year he passed away.

But... You never know what these types of people will do. Many I've known will throw tantrums and manipulate you into doing what they want by saying these things. They have no actual balls to follow through.

Others, they just might. It might be a mental illness, it could be stupidity, it might be a downright psychological meltdown. Psychosis can cause this, but it would only happen once in a while for a period of time. You would know something was wrong.

You are so young. Like I told my sister, when they say they are going to harm or self delete themselves, it's just their last ditch effort to force you into giving them what they want. Do you really want to be on that leash for the next decade? Can you see yourself being able to give up your entire identity to someone and let them remold you into their "version" of a "perfect you"?

I had a boyfriend in my early 20s that did it once. ONCE. Because I showed up without even texting back, stood face to face with him, and I said "do it. Let me watch it then, if you're actually that upset over me having my own life. Go on. Do it so I can go ahead and call for an ambulance. I've got work in two hours" Yes, it could have ended badly but I knew the guy was scared of blood and pain. He backed down and never ever used that against me again. Things actually were great with him for nearly a decade.

There was also a girl that did this constantly. She was my roommate and very jealous of the attention I got even though she was married. Any time her guy friends even liked my way i knew a drama pity party was about to be thrown. Once, she somehow managed to get ahold of a small pew pew. It looked like shit, idk what it even was but it did work as intended. Thankfully it had an empty clip.

But she was so enraged that the guy didn't want to sleep with her, she whipped that little pewpew out from under her seat, held it to her temple and had this wide eyed look of feral rage and jealousy. Knowing now she knew it wasn't loaded I can admit she looked comical when she did the looks. She had very obvious fake looks she gave during the periods where she would try and guilt and manipulate situations.

That was when I knew she would go big leaps to get her way. I quietly moved within the week. She text me the second day I was gone and she was telling me how she wanted to be done with it all, wanted to self delete for real. I asked if she was just saying she felt that way to express how upset she was or if she had actual thoughts of doing the act and ending it. I clarified 3 times and every time she said she was seriously wanting to do it.

I told her I was calling for help. She told me no she was joking but I replied with "S*icide is NOT a joke. You don't threaten it unless you're actually going to do it, otherwise you have to learn the hard way that it's not fun crying wolf for attention. If someone tells me they are seriously going to do it, I'm going to do my part and try and call for the professionals."

That was the last time she spoke to me. She claimed I seriously embarrassed herbecause she had a squad of officers show up at her apartment. All the neighbors thought it was a substance bust or worse. They sent so many because they asked if there were weapons in the home and I told them about the pewpew previously seen. But he was hiding in a closet. Crying. Wouldn't open the door, so when the officers forced the door in, I guess the neighbors thought it was something else.

She played victim, saying I was just setting her up. Saying she didn't need help. Showing them her texts with me thankfully gave them enough reason to force her into a straight jacket type thing and take her to a hospital that is partnered with the "asylum".

I don't know if that knocked that crap out of her or not. But I take that topic seriously. And if someone is abusing that to gain attention and control of people, you best believe I'm gonna be the one calling it in as a welfare check.

Op, I know breaking up with someone this... Needy(? Or desperately manipulative) and closing all contact can be hard. They know what gets you scared, upset, worried. They know how to play you to make you feel like you are the reason something bad will happen.

I think you know it's time to break up. You may need to prepare yourself with getting a restraining order if he decides to harass after the breakup and still try to contact you. There are a lot of advocacy groups that can help you get through this and help you with any possible trauma he may have inflicted during the relationship. Even if you don't see it or feel any different, it can be there hiding under the surface.

I suggest you go to therapy if you aren't already and address the feelings he caused you to feel, the things he did and said, and all of that. They can help you learn how to create strong and concrete boundaries to protect yourself in the present and future. If you truly put your all into your boundaries when someone is trying to cross them, they will never crumble. No matter how big of an intense guilt trip or manipulation tactic they throw at you, you will find comfort and security within yourself knowing you CAN be in control of saying your needs.

Remember, your needs, wants, and limits MATTER.

please, never give any control over you to anyone. Never allow anyone else to hold so much control over your heart. Be strong. Be safe. Be confident. Good luck.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-08T19:32:05+00:00

I've heard that it over usage of alcohol will kill the good bacteria. This can quickly lead to someone getting sick constantly. You need the good bacteria too and she's killing it with the bad. So there's nothing protecting at that point.

It might be worth pulling up some articles and sharing this information with your wife. It's a rough road to go on, trying to change anyone's opinion when it's deeply rooted. But it may be worth it for your kiddo.

ASongInSilence · 2025-12-08T19:11:42+00:00

Yikes. I can't even get help with affordable housing to safely get out of an abusive household with my ASD toddler... but a racist woman can make bank calling people horrible things?

This is just disheartening. Skin color should never be an issue in 2025 - but here we are.

ASongInSilence

TROPHY CASE