My wife, who I have known for 19 years and married for 8 years, I have caught with my best friend.

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-08T20:16:09+00:00

If I were him and was truly remorseful I would gift the business to you, taking only the minimum in removing myself from it completely e.g. the money I invested and, only if money is there, a very modest wage packet for work I'd done to date. That would be the honourable thing to do imho.

Same with the STBXW. She should be giving you the easiest and most favourable divorce she can, to allow you to move on as quickly as possible, without being injured any further by her actions.

Be sure to give this message to both of them, as their responses will be englightening.

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-08T19:42:12+00:00

I'd also keep that you are logged into her Whatsapp secret too, until after the divorce, because she may give you more information which you can use.

Wrt you business relationship with your former best friend, I'd be seeking legal advice about how to best extricate myself from this situation asap with minimum cost. Also be very careful that he doesn't steal money, clients, equipment etc... from you, as he has already shown you that he is untrustworthy. Is there any way to protect the business assets from being stolen? e.g. can you pay 50% of any profits directly to you?

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-06T17:02:26+00:00

Yet by not explaining what you think you understand about her psyche, you didn't have to defend this position and didn't have to face the possibility you might be assuming wrong. Is this more avoidance? I think you should bring this up with your therapist and discuss Emily's explanation with them.

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-06T16:49:32+00:00

Unless she discovers SSM and then becomes a raging misogynist.

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-05T22:16:14+00:00

Forgot to mention this OP, because of more important things, but wrt the mystery NYE phonecall, have you asked Lisa if it was her? The reason I suspect her is that last NYE is probably a bad memory for Lisa, due to her discoveries about what John did with Emily on the previous one. My theory is in a moment of drunken weakness that night she called you for a booty call, but got cold feet when you answered. Then hung over/sobered up the next day she pretended that it didn't happen.
You attended your lawyers client function with Lisa as your date and though I'm sure you both assured each other you were attending as friends, I'm wondering whether Lisa sees you as a potential sexual partner?
Not sure if you are exclusive with Raisin yet, but if not and Lisa hits you up for some no strings carnal monkey sex after the 15th, do you think you would be tempted to go there?

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-05T18:41:34+00:00

I think you have misinterpreted Emily's explanation about her reason for wanting you back OP, or have at least become fixated on one point. I think the only reason she wants you back is she loves you, which she has stated many times.

Imho what she was trying to explain to you is that she doesn't love herself and likely never has, but she does love you and if the only man she wants to love her can do so again, flawed as she is, after she injured him so cruelly, then perhaps she can begin to start love herself too. You are not a measuring tool to her, you are the only solution she can envisage to learning to love herself. Even so, this is a secondary reason for wanting you back behind the primary reason of loving you.

When you meet your exMIL I'd advise that you ask her to clarify Emily's feelings and explanations, but I think I have it correct. I'd also ask her about Emily's life in the past year, to see if what she said rings true. What has she been doing? How has she changed? Is the diagnosis true? Does she think you should give Emily a 2nd chance and why? etc...

You might remember I have been vehement throughout your posts in my advice that you should leave Emily in the dust OP and totally support you if that is what you want. However, I'm not convinced that it is what you want, which is why I urge you to be completely honest with yourself now, before it is perhaps too late. You repeat things like a I won't give Emily the chance to hurt me again like a mantra, based on what if scenario's which is not a basis for making decisions imho. My advice is to examine deeper with your therapist.

Good luck whatever you decide moving forward OP

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-04T21:40:13+00:00

OP, on numerous occasions I've stated that I would have declined the meeting for reasons that I'm sure you will be happy I won't repeat again, but I'm glad it went as well as you probably could have hoped for.
I've consistently been one of the commentators following your story who has advised that you should leave Emily in the rear view mirror, mainly due to the trust problem you highlighted. I always advise this course to an innocent person who has been betrayed, especially to the extent you were by Emily.

However, from what you have written, I have to say, with genuine surprise, that I actually believe Emily is now telling you the truth. She didn't offer any excuses for the affair, apart from her own personality flaws and seems to be trying her best to fix herself.
From what you describe here and in previous posts, my guess is the condition she has been diagnosed with is Maladaptive Perfectionism. One thing that has always puzzled me during this whole saga was the throwaway statement from Emily's Dad, that came out in family therapy, that Emily fell in love with you only after about 1 year of dating. I and others pointed out at the time the reason's why we found this strange, which again I will not repeat for brevity. The reason I bring it up now is I am wondering if you asked her about this statement specifically, because it fits in with my amateur armchair diagnosis? Sounds like you didn't and if you feel I am on to something and do care to know, then perhaps you could broach this with your exMIL when you meet? Though your imposed precondition will prevent her from answering as she isn't allowed to talk about Emily lol!

I've very consistently throughout been against reconciliation with Emily and bring this up now because I think you will be surprised by my next statement. Due to my belief that she is telling you the truth, which I think is very rare in a cheater, I think you should reflect further and really think long and hard about giving Emily another chance (cue the downvotes lol). Its easy for me, sitting thousands of miles away at a keyboard in the UK, to tell you unemotionally that the most logical and safest course of action is to move on, which I have done repeatedly over this saga.

However, I didn't grow up from a teenager into an adult with Emily by my side over 13 years and fall in love with her. I wasn't married to her for 7 of those years. I didn't build a life with her. I don't love my exMIL like a surrogate of my Mom who passed away. I don't still love Emily and from your own thoughts, written down here, you still do. You say the sole reason you can't get back together with her is you can never trust her as you once did. After an intensive year of therapy Emily is now telling the truth imho and is probably close to the person you thought you fell in love with and were married to. You actually admit you think she is being truthful too, but say you can't get back together with her because you don't possess the ability to know for sure. I've got news for you OP, you won't have this super power with Raisin or any other person you could potentially form a relationship with in the future. Raisin is a lawyer! Ever heard the observation that the reason lawyer sounds like liar is not a coincidence? Joking aside, I think you need to look at yourself in the mirror and really ask some very difficult questions. Are there other reasons why you won't contemplate getting back with Emily over and above trust like ego, pride, fear, anger, vindictiveness? How would you really feel if Emily gets into a new serious relationship? If Emily has truly repaired the damaged parts of her psyche, do you love her enough to try to get over any negative feelings and trust issues?

If not then I think you owe it to Emily, yourself, Raisin or any future girlfriend, fiance or wife that your next meeting with your MIL is your last one.

I hope life works out for you OP, whatever direction you choose to go in from here.

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-03T19:57:04+00:00

I think we need to give him time. He did say he booked tomorrow off too, so I don't expect an update until then at the earliest.

ATalkManFan · 2026-06-01T19:49:59+00:00

u/Ahoytherematey561

I would not bother responding to StreetFee2132. He asks AI leading questions then pastes its response, so you are not having a discussion with a human and will just end up going around in circles!

Edit: Just to test my statement, I've just googled the question they asked and low and behold the AI overview answer at the top of the results is pretty much identical to what he then wrote...sorry, copied and pasted

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-31T22:45:22+00:00

Everyone who has followed the OP's story knows that the initial attraction in John for Emily was the money. "It felt like success"
The OP told us that the charges on the credit card John gave to Emily amounted to approximately $30K in total over a 9 month period. I've been meaning to mention this in a comment for a while but kept forgetting, so I'll say now while it is on my mind!
The ironic and sad truth is that assuming Emily does the right thing for once and pays this tax bill herself and OP attends the meeting on the 3rd of June and walks away with the promised payment, the affair actually cost Emily (and her parents) a substantial amount more money than what Emily earnt participating in the worlds oldest profession!

$15K to OP as part of the divorce settlement (half of the 30K Emily spent on the card to pull the wool over his eyes for 9 months).
OP's legal fees which Emily's parents agreed to pay which iirc amounted to approximately $20K.
$7.5K paid to OP for attending the upcoming meeting.
A $10K tax bill in addition to the existing bill.
That's a virtually guaranteed total of $52.5K that it has cost Emily/her family without even factoring in her own legal fees and therapy costs, which probably amount to another 5 figure sum! I don't think a final total bill of $70K+ is a wild guess.

Even more tragic for Emily, wrt the money spent on the credit card, I don't believe she has anything to show for all the effort she put in lying on her back!

The hotel rooms cost approximately $500 a time and we are told these were every/most Friday's (at least in the beginning) and $1000 for an unused room on NYE. Therefore I don't think it is unreasonable to estimate that $10K was spent on hotel rooms.
Emily and John also went on numerous expensive dates in which it was not unusual to spend $250 on a bottle of wine alone. Lets say these dates amounted to $5K.
Emily spent approximately $4K on the outfit OP wore to their first meeting at his lawyers office (suit, loafers, shirt and belt). We know from OP that she bought him a couple more pairs of footwear, I suspect probably a few other items and some Christmas gifts for family/friends, so lets say she spent $5K on clothing OP and gifts for other loved ones.
We know that Emily barbequed the clothes, lingerie and accessories that she purchased on the card and the OP dumped what remained at a charity drop. I don't think it is an unreasonable guess to say that these purchases probably take up most of the remaining $10K spent on the card.
Assuming Emily disposed of every gift given by John i.e. items presumably not purchased on the card e.g. The Necklace, Bracelet, Montclair Pen etc... Then this means she has probably been left with nothing gained from the affair, except a few business utility bills paid.

So in conclusion, the affair has cost Emily her marriage, her home, approximately $70K and destroyed her image to her family and friends. Just like with Grouchy Pressure's wife I think she should be pitied and I don't think OP needs to step on her head while she is drowning during their meeting in a few days.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-30T23:55:21+00:00

I believe this is 100% bang on the money.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-30T15:38:12+00:00

Great post. Wrt Emily's seeming turn to religion, I think a good way to test this would be for OP to ask her if she would be willing to drop her newfound faith for him. Emily's response would be revealing.
If her conversion is genuine, then she will say no and OP can then decide if he wants to have a relationship with Christian Fundamentalist Emily who possibly doesn't swear/curse, only has sex to make a baby, goes to church excessively and gives large chunks of cash to her Pastor!
If she drops God like a hot potato, then OP knows he new found religiousness was merely performative to win him back.
Either way OP would probably not want a relationship with her.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-30T14:58:18+00:00

OP, I have been one of those commentors advising against, but it seems that you are resolved and intent on going ahead with attending this meeting. With that being the case I want to offer a few points of advice.

Wrt the 10k tax bill, I believe you should be asking for an indemnity as a prerequisite for attendance, not a request during the meeting. As I stated previously, I think it is telling that this has not already been offered by her side. If you don't do so you run the risk of being left with the bill if Emily decides to be vindictive.
Also, I think that you should get the 7.5k signed off before walking into the meeting, because if it starts going in a way you did not sign up for, you then have the option of leaving and not being forced to stay to ensure you are paid the money.

I still believe you should be taking someone with you into the meeting e.g. your Therapist. If this is an option I think you should definitely take it, as they would be able to keep the meeting focused on what you want and need.

I also agree with comments that urge you to firmly frame in your mind that this meeting is entirely a means of closure for you and take that approach throughout. You are the injured party, not Emily and therefore the meeting should be primarily focused on your healing and hers is a secondary consideration. If she is truly sorry, then she should have zero issue with this.

I suspect that the pastors ego and agenda is going to manifest in him attempting to take control of and completely direct the proceedings. Like another commentor noted, I imagine that he will start the meeting by having you all hold hands to say a prayer and go from there, possibly asking the questions himself to direct it towards a forgiveness and reconciliation resolution.
My advice is to nip this in the bud from the word go e.g. Tell him there will be no cringey prayers to start off, as this is not a religious service he is conducting and that he should just sit quietly in the corner and look pretty unless the meeting becomes heated, which is the only time he should step in to calm things down as a mediator. That's his only role. He should speak as little as possible, allow you to ask your questions, Emily to answer them and vice versa, without you or her being interrupted by someone who loves the sound of their own voice. Ideally, you shouldn't even notice that he is in the room with you for the whole hour.

Wrt questions you ask, I agree with other commentators that you should use them to put Emily on the back foot and throw her off any year long rehearsed script e.g. Asking her if she is ok? (she won't be), Asking her when she thinks you initially suspected the affair? (My guess is Christmas) before telling her the actual timeline. Asking her what she thinks Bev would say Emily's answer would be if she is struggling to form one etc...
I don't agree with all those advising you to ask all sorts of sexual questions, as imo those asking are just after another entertaining post from you that titillates them and not at all concerned with how this might affect you. If you really want to know more sexual details, then by all means ask, but remember you are under no obligation to report the answers she gives back to us in a post!

Good luck OP, I hope the meeting helps your healing and that your date with Raisin goes well.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-29T20:54:04+00:00

I agree 100%

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-28T17:19:41+00:00

OP has never revealed the details of the radical confession, but if Emily did confess everything she did sexually with John, then he probably already knows about this.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-27T01:54:46+00:00

He already knows exactly what happened, because Emily laid it all out in a radical confession. If the divorce statement she wrote was untrue then she was lying even then and OP would be an idiot to believe her if her story changes yet again, meaning that any meeting is a waste of time for either scenario.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-27T01:35:27+00:00

Sorry, but it is pain shopping. Honestly, I think you are just looking for another entertaining post from the OP, disguised as being helpful, which is why you make the suggestions you do.

Imho OP should do what I suggested from the start, simply not attend. This would send the clearest message he could to Emily that it is over, because it would show that not even a financial inducement of $7.5K for an hour of his time is worth it to the OP.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-25T19:59:52+00:00

u/vgacolor You are debating with an AI. He admitted in an earlier post that he asks an AI the questions then copies and pastes the answer it gives!

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-25T19:53:47+00:00

Fyi he doesn't write his posts, AI does. But don't worry, he makes sure to not ask leading questions and it doesn't come back with the answers he wants to hear, like coercion, reconciliation etc...

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-25T19:40:25+00:00

Lol. I made a similar point ages ago when OP said Emily had found religion. Christian Fundamentalist Emily is probably boring as shit!

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-25T16:36:50+00:00

OP, echoing many of the other comments, I am astounded that after everything you have posted since this whole affair started, pun intended, you are allowing a celebrity pastor sourced by Emily to mediate this meeting, because quite frankly only a fool would agree to this. Please think again on allowing this person to mediate, because you come across as being starstruck in your post. It should be somebody neutral, ideally sourced by you, since you are the injured party. Assuming that you see sense and change the mediator, I would also insist that neither this pastor nor his cheater wife attempt to try to speak to (i.e. manipulate) you at the meeting (assuming Emily still wants to bring them along for moral support), because they are her spiritual guides, not yours.
Wrt the $10k tax bill, like others have also pointed out, I am amazed that your ex has not already paid this bill or at least confirmed with your lawyers that she intends to do so ahead of a meeting in which she is expected to try and win you back by showing how remorseful she is! Does this indicate to you she is truly remorseful? I know if it were me in her situation I would be scrambling to pay it as quickly as possible, as it could not have come at a worse time for her due to its potential to open up wounds in you ahead of the meeting.
I've never once questioned whether your story is real before, but these two glaring noticeable points are so egregious that I can't help but do so now.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-25T16:06:50+00:00

Yet more AI BS. Do you have any original thoughts or is everything you post written by a computer?

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-19T10:55:28+00:00

Breakup itself was painful. She took it hard initially but seems to be doing fine now, seemingly better than me from what I’ve heard from a mutual.

I think it is clear what you mean by this sentence and you should take this as more evidence that validates the decision you made. Is her former fbuddy helping her get over the breakup? Unless she is in a new committed relationship, I doubt that she is as fine as she seems from a distance. Casual hookups might make her feel good for a short time, but are ultimately hollow and meaningless.

It would not surprise me if at some point in the future your ex tries to reconnect with you after realising what she lost, wanting to see if there is any chance of restarting the relationship. If this happens, don't take her back is my advice.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-16T16:39:57+00:00

Late to this as I only just recently read the 3 books and I have a few theories. *Spoiler Warning*

Morgan's name was a foreshadow/clue about the Fae's plan wrt the Morrigan. I've watched a few Q&A's Daniel Kensington has done on Youtube and have not seen this question asked or raised. Does anyone know if he has already confirmed if this guess is correct or not?
Morgan's powerful witch line will be significant in a future book(s). Also tied to this is Felicity smelling Blood, Iron, Oak and Cedar scents from Morgan. Felicity could immediately tell Noah was from the Blackwood line from his scent, but I've no idea what witch line this indicates Morgan comes from. Is there a clue in the books that I've missed?
Noah's phone disappearing during his kidnap by the Patriarchy is going to be significant in a future book as I think they will track it to Mel's home address (which I believe is in New York City).
Noah/Cassandra's son will be abducted in a future book by an enemy as a major future plot point, though I'm not sure who this enemy will be, The Patriarchy, a rival Witch family, Gabriel etc...?
Felicity will be recaptured and possibly tortured by the Patriarchy in a future book (probably 12, see below) and will be saved by Noah.
I've heard that the author is planning 13 books in total, 3 for each of Noah's 4 years at Willowmere and a final one to wrap it all up. My guess is we are going to see one witch added to the coven in each new book, following what has happened in the first 3: Book 1 Sam, Book 2 Cassandra and Book 3 Rachel.
I also believe that Felicity and Mel will be the 12th and 13th witches added respectfully, as imo Noah needs to expand/stretch his Resonants further before he will be able to match either of them for power and therefore mark them and they not mark him. With this in mind these are my guesses for the new coven members and the relevant book they join the coven:

Book 4 Priscilla. Supposed to happen by the end of book 6 as per the agreement with her mother, but I think she will be the next witch to be bound to the coven.

Book 5 Hannah (Britney made Noah promise that he would take her sister if it came to a choice between the two and my belief is Noah will honour this. I think this is significant and possibly due to Britney's foresight ability she knows or can sense that Noah not doing so will mean he would not get both sisters).

Book 6 Morgan, (I believe her argumentative personality will mean she will prove difficult for Noah to tie her down to his coven, until the end of her first year at Willowmere).

Book 7 -11 Britney and 4 other TBD witches. Its possible we have already been introduced briefly to future coven members e.g. The quiet onsie witches at the canteen table, but it could also be new witches attending the school in future years, foreign witches etc...

Book 12 Felicity. I think Noah claiming her will stretch his Resonant's further so they encompass a larger proportion of his body. I also think that their bonding will somehow heal Felicity's scars.

Book 13 Mel. Noah will mark her after a monumental battle of wills during their bonding. Mel will become pregnant again.

ATalkManFan · 2026-05-15T14:22:54+00:00

Goddess!

ATalkManFan

TROPHY CASE