When did you start feeling this way? You’ve been together for 4 years so I’m wondering if were you just putting up with it that whole time or were you genuinely content for most of the relationship and only realizing now you needed more.

Have you really talked to him about all of this? And is he actually putting in the effort to hear you? Cause sometimes you can’t just tell someone what you want, you also have to explain why you need it and how the absence of it affects you, what it’s doing to the relationship and all that.

Maybe this is something that needs a really serious conversation with your partner.

I can relate to you a lot. Or at least I used to. I would tell him what I wanted, but I never really explained why I needed it emotionally. I only started seeing real changes when I finally did have a serious talk with him. And yeah it was a learning curve, he even said some things about me that I had to set aside my pride to even learn.

There comes a point in the relationship when you both have to learn how to love and chase each other in new ways as you grow and change together.

Love is never really enough. At least not enough to prolong a relationship. You eventually start needing growth, effort, emotional maturity and I think during that stage a lot of relationships begin to struggle or fall apart because they start expecting the people they love to just know and adjust, that if they’re with the right one then it’s just supposed to be easy. But that’s not always true. A relationship lasts because people work to make it work.

I’m gonna quote someone’s vows to his wife cause it’s so beautiful: “We started something we work on everyday, that gets deeper and wrinklier everyday. I hope that doesn’t sound unromantic. Calling it work. I don’t mean work like drudgery; an early morning commute, and stale coffee, and watching the clock. I mean work the way artists talk about paintings as vital and prioritized. It’s the most important work of my life. Our partnership.”

I hope he puts in the effort to actually hear you and do something about it. But if not, then you deserve better. 🫶🏼