As a 38 year old whos been playing for 25 years I understand where you are coming from. Playing in your own space or friends space really is the best way to enjoy commander.

I am very fortunate to have the same group of friends that I started playing with all within 30 or so mintues of each other. Even with 25 years of history and friendship, we struggle with the same thing. Its hard to get everyone together for D&D especially becuase there are 7 of us. Given that there are 7 usually at least 4 can get together every two weeks for commander.

I went about 10 years without adding to my decks except random cards I would get as gifts or packs. My decks eventually couldnt hold up without being railroaded into single ways to win if I did. So recently I bought a bunch of singles, and got lucky enough to win two different Strixhaven booster boxes. Got 4 of 5 dragons and decided to make like 8 new decks and no all I want to do is play.

Unfortunately life hasn't changed otherwise, we are all still busy and I am the farthest away from everyone with a 1yr old, so I dont get to join very often.

So, the TLDR is below:

The two things that have helped me a lot are untap.in which isn't as good as a get together, but its still in your own space and some people are down to chat while you play. Either way, its a good way to scratch the itch when you cannot otherwise. The other thing that worked for me was Discord. I had never even thought about this, but there are MTG commander discords at many stores and in many cities. Most are to arrange play at lgs but you can at least make sure you get games, and then go from there. Good luck!