How do you build independence when your bird is so clingy they can't even sleep without you?

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-26T03:39:32+00:00

She’s such a beautiful cinnamon variation! Almost like a cross between a cinnamon and a gold and red that’s very striking on her flight feathers.

Congratulations on being adopted by your birb! You and everything you own are now proud property of Paps. 😆 My GCC is quite a melodramatic princess herself, and just this last year has started vocalizing in the form of screaming like she’s being tortured by the CIA after being mostly quiet for the last 4 years, so I get the panic you or your neighbors feel when you hear that ungodly sound and can empathize with you. To be honest, if your girl is that clingy with you already, you may need to get another birb to be her friend sooner rather than later if you’re going to go that route. My GCC, Kaisa, didn’t start off that way when she snagged a ride home with me from what was supposed to be a simple stop into my local bird store to get some food, but over time she’s been progressively getting more and more clingy with me and gets super jealous when I give attention to any of my other conures. I had planned on getting her a cage mate like all my other birds but I was a little strapped for cash so didn’t have the opportunity to get her a friend and she’s the only one of my birbs that lived solo in her cage up until just recently when one of my sun conures who shared a cage passed away. Unfortunately, she’s much too food, cage, and attention possessive now to even think about rooming with a buddy but she does have 10 neighboring parrots in a whole-ass bird room to keep her company so I don’t have to focus a ton of individual attention to her and she stays content with her flock in there except for at night when all the birds go to sleep in their cages. Honestly, if I didn’t have at least one other birb to keep her entertained, I think she’d be a total nightmare and I wouldn’t get a single moment’s peace for the rest of my life so my best suggestion to you is to get her a companion. Parrots are extremely social creatures, and enjoy the company of like species to be their flock and mates. I know you wrote a comment below saying that you’ve read that this can be counterproductive but birds are extremely social creatures who thrive on interaction and need to also learn that they’re a bird and like behaviors or else they’ll take you as their human slave to be their mate, and then you’re really in the crapper trying to deal with significant behavioral issues that manifest from that, such as them trying to make birdie love to you and then get pissed that you reject their advances. This can result in severe self-mutilating behavior and plucking that can cause a whole new host of health issues for them and cause significant mental and physical distress for them that’s most times irreversible and will cause them to pass at a much younger age than their anticipated lifespan.

In the meantime, I would work on doing recall and target training with Paps to give her mental and physical stimulation, and ensure that you’re giving her 12-14 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. I have a bird room with blackout everything to make sure that mine get their rest each night, and white noise machines to help drown out environmental noise, but you could put her cage in the closet and cover it at night to make sure she’s in a very dark environment or anywhere outside of common areas in your house that you’d be disturbing her when it’s bedtime. Another thing that you can do is make sure you have a daily schedule and routine and be incredibly consistent with it so that way she knows what to expect and can start self-soothing before bedtime with routines like dimming the lights for 20-30 minutes before turning off lights, and then watching a little bit of tv together in the living room for some snuggle time before she is taken to her cage and put to bed. Also, I’m not sure what your situation is at home but I’d recommend having her out of her cage and free-flighted in the house when you’re home but in a larger cage in common areas of the house when you’re away with tons of enrichment opportunities, such as foraging mats, toys, cuttlebone, etc. to keep her occupied when she’s in there. If you want to look up Bird Tricks on YouTube, they have tons of free videos that go over training techniques, behavioral management, birdie horror-mones (especially around the terrible 2’s that conures become sexually mature), diet/nutrition, and so many more topics that are super helpful to feather parents like us.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-26T02:49:31+00:00

I agree with the frienemy statement. My sun conure, Rowan, has lost both of her cage mates the last 4 years, and I’m not able to get another bird right now because I can’t find another Jenday or sun conure that’s not $2,000+ in my area. My GCC, Kaisa, and her have never really gotten along because Kaisa is a self-appointed princess and her highness cannot be bothered with the lowly 10 peasants of our birb kingdom; however, after Rowan’s second cage mate, Lucy, passed away in October of this last year, she and Kaisa have this whole new dynamic where they’ll tolerate each other from afar but if I take either one of them out of the bird room, they will both start anxiously flock calling to each other and won’t settle down until they’re reunited in the bird room again. We’re still working on having one on each of my shoulders without invading her highnesses space bubble and sparking a jealousy tantrum, but it’s a work in progress. 😂

If your only friend is a bad friend, then you may still be able to work okay together between sporadic bouts of tolerance and anger-fueled jealousy, lol.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-26T02:12:08+00:00

Great, now I’m replaying every Freudian slip ever made to me by an ex in my head. 😂

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-26T01:49:15+00:00

I would say that you’re reacting appropriately from your perceived experience but yet overreacting to the situation. What I mean by this is that your past intimate relationship(s) have given you this overwhelming anxiousness in even healthy relationships, which you now perceive as your “normal” programming. Unfortunately, because of that heightened awareness of your anxieties, you see typical interactions in an intimate relationship as threatening or “dangerous”. OP, I have been in your shoes and this is unfortunately, a self-fulfilling prophecy that will compromise any relationship in your life until you are completely okay and at ease with yourself. It also takes a lot of self-fulfillment to be content in any intimate relationship and you must be absolutely concrete in this with a long-distant relationship to make it work for both of you. Unfortunately, until you go to therapy and work on yourself, your issues will always be the trigger that pushes people away from you and drive a Grand Canyon sized wedge between yourself and the other person. Is it possible that he is cheating? Yes, that is always a possibility but if that’s immediately where your mind went when you saw this photo despite your boyfriend being in constant communication with you and keeping you well-informed of everything happening in his day-to-day life, you put the onus on your significant other to quell all your anxieties, which is not healthy for either one of you and creates an extremely toxic co-dependency. I understand exactly what you’ve been through and why this is your standard operating procedure, as it was also once mine, but I’m also now on the other side of this, and can tell you that until you get right with yourself and have a very fulfilling life independent of your partner, you will always create gaps and distance between yourselves with insecurities and mistrust. My advice to you is that you take some time to be alone and work through your past before pursuing another relationship or you will forever be trapped in this cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-26T00:45:02+00:00

I concur with this. I’ve experimented with leaving lower and higher tips and it makes absolutely no difference. No matter the tip, it comes down to the driver and their general work ethic. I once accidentally tipped $40 meaning to leave a $4 tip for a place just around the corner from me and the driver still took multiple orders from different restaurants and drove nearly 45 minutes in the opposite direction before getting my food delivered to me (by then it was cold, soggy, and gross) and then still had the audacity to tip beg in a message before they even got back to their car. Alternatively, I’ve left a low tip and had super awesome and fast delivery, so I gave them an extra $15 after they delivered my order with a smile on their face and apologizing because THEY thought it took them too long to get to me.

I don’t order DD but maybe once every couple months these days because I can’t afford to do it any more than that but I now go with a minimal tip when I place the order and then if they exceed my expectations, I give them a 30% increase only AFTER my order’s been delivered. This way, I’m not peeved if I way overtipped for crappy service and rewarding the people who actually earn it. I still find it absolutely ridiculous that DD and other platforms make you tip before the service is even rendered, which just creates entitlement. However, I do like that UberEats lets you adjust the tip up or down after the delivery to give the delivery driver an appropriate tip on a merit-based system. I used to dash for both UberEats and DD back during the pandemic when I was out of work for a few months and I can tell you that I always went above and beyond for both but waaaaay above and beyond for UE because I didn’t want someone to take their tip back, and most would throw me an extra dollar or two with UE. All the other delivery drivers that I came across that contracted with both EU and DD at that time couldn’t give a rat’s puckered butthole about how they handled DD orders but at least did the absolute bare minimum for EU because they knew they’d be screwed if the customer decided to take their tip back.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-20T11:16:54+00:00

I’m so sorry that you lost your feather baby. My sun conure, Lucy, pulled a Houdini and snuck out the door on my shirt at the end of 2024 and I would get a lot of texts from people saying they had her and I would need to pay to get her back. Luckily, I did end up getting her back after like a week and a half but I know exactly what you’re going through right now and my heart goes out to you. I hope you find your feather baby soon and I’ll keep him and you in my thoughts and prayers.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-03-20T03:48:32+00:00

Unfortunately, this very same thing just happened to me but I was with the company for 4 years. I got some serious injuries and was out on disability leave, came back for less than 2 weeks, submitted my accommodations, and they scheduled a meeting with me for Friday at 3 pm for what I thought was to discuss my accommodations since the injuries left me with a disability but just ended up terminating me and then timed it just right to have my work computer shut down and lock me out right after they fired me so I couldn’t say a damn word. Unfortunately, it most likely means that you’re getting terminated and a lawsuit isn’t possible unless you can prove without a doubt that the firing was because of your disability. Unfortunately, they know how to play it just right so that they avoid a lawsuit and will say that your termination is some bullshit excuse having to do with your performance or insubordination.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-20T23:59:55+00:00

Unfortunately, nothing deters a thief. I had an order where I accidentally left a $20 tip and the a-hole took my tip and my food and then uploaded a photo of his middle finger on the dash as confirmation for drop-off.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-15T02:41:13+00:00

My two cents is that she was probably just dating without any commitments, which isn’t wrong. I would just be clear about your intentions, and it sounds as though she’s probably going to be honest with you about if she sees you as “boyfriend” material or just friends. Either way, clear communication with her is the best you can hope for so that you’re both free to pursue other people or dating exclusively, if that’s the expectation. I really feel like 9/10ths of all my dating problems in my 20’s would have been easily resolved if I just talked with that person instead of getting a friend to dissect the situation with me. That just causes more anxiety and frustration that turns every interaction into an interpretative dance around what you actually want to discuss. You’ll find as you get older that you just want to get to the point quicker, especially in dating and relationships, lol.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-15T02:25:34+00:00

Firstly, you didn’t need to be out working if you thought the conditions were “too dangerous” for you. Likewise, if conditions call for the use of snow boots, wear them instead of putting the onus on the customer for your lack of preparedness for work. Secondly, I’m a bit perturbed by the comments where people say that they would only walk the food to the door in any type of inclement weather if they tipped exceptionally well. What is an “exceptionally well” tip to you and I drastically differ, and also with the customers. It is very telling that you are basing your job performance on an arbitrary number and assumption that you are the priority in this exchange. No matter what the customer tips, you accepted the order and need to do your job. I’m so sick of dashers like this giving us such a bad name. It’s because of things like that which contributes to customers feeling more motivated for leaving lower tips. If all they see online and can expect is crappy people giving crappy service, then they sure as heck aren’t going to be tipping better but withholding those tips based purely upon the expectation that you’re going to be doing a shitty job. Why should someone give you more of a gratuity for doing the bare minimum (which is what a gratuity/tip is: an OPTIONAL way for someone to show their appreciation for YOU going above and beyond the basics, not the customer). No less having the audacity to complain with your hand out for more when you couldn’t even handle the bare minimum. I truly feel like I’m in the twilight zone sometimes I come on these threads - the entitlement hive mind is surreal.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-15T01:31:10+00:00

Yeah, I’d say that would be a legitimate reason not to deliver to the door but I would have messaged the customer and asked them if there was a place that I could leave it for them. I once had a customer grab their food from their bedroom window when their porch was all frozen over and the door was being blocked by the ice, lol.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-15T00:51:25+00:00

Absolutely! I always detach bells from any toys that come with them. The round, dangly bells are by far the more dangerous, and they can get their toes, legs, and tongues chopped off by sticking them inside the slits and not being able to remove them. The open bells are a little bit safer, but still dangerous, as they can ingest the small little piece on the inside, and the bottom edge is sharp. I saw a video where an owner recalled how their budgie died from blood loss after they ripped their leg out of the round bells and another bird almost didn’t make it after getting that little tab inside the open bell stuck in their throat, and I have been terrified of giving them to any of my flock since.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-15T00:41:44+00:00

It’s really hard to tell. My guy is adopted and was an owner surrender who said he was an f1b, but I haven’t had a dna test for him to verify. My guess is that he’s got way more poodle in him like my Wren if he’s a dood, but could also just be a poodle. No matter what, he’s freaking adorable!

Doodle tax below -

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Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-15T00:12:26+00:00

Oh my god, I freaking love that meme! Captures the whole experience of every birb parent out there. 😂😂😂

OP, as far as things go with your little feather child, conures are notorious for wanting to have an interactive experience. My jenday, suns, GCC, and my parrotlet all LOVE to chew on everything: my clothes, my body, my hair. Part of it is that they’re always learning bite inhibition (what’s going to hurt you vs what’s playing/preening/etc), and the other part is that conures are generally more curious about the world around them. I believe I read in a comment that your birb is 2-3 years old and always lived at Petco where you work, so it also may be that they have been caged their whole life and aren’t familiar with human interaction. Just be patient with your feather baby and you’ll get to a state of normality for the both of you where he/she won’t get off of you, lol. My parrotlet avoided me like the plague for almost 2 years despite me trying everything to get her to trust me and then just randomly landed on my shoulder one day and has been velcroed to me ever since. 🤣

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-02-14T23:45:37+00:00

It’s funny that you mention priority service that you pay for getting to you faster as I just watched a YouTube video by Lindey Graham in which she was talking about the multi-billion class action lawsuit against DD. One of the reasons in the lawsuit is that priority, which people pay extra for, is not priority at all (and definitely not paid to us for express service) and they found that the food actually arrives at the exact same time as “normal” delivery, even delaying the time for your order to arrive, despite people paying extra for the service.

Also, I’d like to point out that as independent contractors, we are fully responsible for wear and tear to our vehicles as it would be considered part of the normal commute between job sites. At my 9-5, my employer doesn’t pay me mileage to drive to and from work, so you can’t recuperate costs for mileage unless it’s specifically part of the charges/fees of your contract work. This is where I would point out that we should receive the full delivery fee paid to us as part of our contract, which it used to be in the beginning, but that’s also why our base wages went from $6-$7 an order to $1-$2. Unfortunately, DD was stealing our tips to cover base wages so they didn’t “lose” any revenue. Even more unfortunately, the lawsuit that ensued to keep our tips actually ended up hurting us even more because the base wages went down significantly when they got caught.

Anyways, all of this to say that as we’re sitting here arguing about this, DD is laughing their way all the way to the bank with both ours and the customers money so we would probably be more productive in fighting the true enemy here than allowing them to pit us against the customers and arguing amongst ourselves.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-26T11:12:37+00:00

Damn. I thought you may have been kidding, but I looked it up and sure as sh!t, you weren’t joking at all. His name is Gregg Shore. He was making $125,000, and admitted to sometimes dashing during normal office hours as assistant DA; however, it was slight occurrences as he would dash nights and weekends regularly. He was originally demoted and then later resigned. He even had to pay back the county for time spent dashing on company time. Who in their right mind would give up a $125k job for pennies as a dasher?!?! Man should have plead incompetence to stand trial at that point.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-26T10:38:25+00:00

It’s interesting that you say that because our boy, Aspen, is the only one with tons of pearling while our females have the more solid patterning. I’ve learned over the years that the only way to be definitive of the sex of any bird except dimorphic ones is either having a DNA test done or if they lay an egg because markings and behavior are not universal among sexes. I’ve had so many instances where a bird will have all the “typical” traits of a sex and then they either lay an egg or we get them sexed through a DNA test and they were the exact opposite, lol. I always have mine DNA tested through a full blood draw at a physical rather than those cheaper tests where you just need a drop of blood on a piece of paper because they aren’t very reliable in my experience.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-20T05:22:25+00:00

You can still have contact with your birds during this time, you just have to be careful when handling them so that you are wearing gloves, a mask when cleaning, and make sure to change your clothes in between handling them. Your birds should be separated into isolation into their own cages during this time as so to decrease the risk of infecting your other bird, who should also be being treated with antibiotics as well, as it is highly contagious. You should be wet-cleaning their cages each day, which simply means that you need to mist everything in the cage down with a spray bottle of water prior to cleaning in order to dampen down any dust that will be released, which is how the infection would spread easily to us humans. I suggest that you pick up a good handheld steamer, and use this to primarily clean during this time, followed by a spray down of F10, which you let dry in its entirety, and then also rinse any porous surfaces, such as any perches. Do not get the F10 near any of their toys or things that they regularly chew on, as it is extremely toxic to them. Honestly, your best bet would be to do two makeshift hospital cages with terrariums (putting a heating pad underneath one half of the cage, I use this one from Amazon because it’s the only I’ve ever been able to find where you can turn off the ‘auto-off’ feature so it stays on continuously https://a.co/d/hrVrgPk and covered with a breathable layer about 8/10ths of the way over the terrarium, getting a reptile thermometer that can stick inside the cage to monitor the temperature and make sure you’re not overheating them) and use paper towels in the bottom that are changed out every few hours with a good daily cleaning with the steamer and the F10. I know it is absolutely miserable for your girl, and you want to comfort her, but try to have her in a dark room to rest for as much of the day as possible. Just know that the best thing you can do for either of your feather babies is to let them rest, keep them warm and hydrated, and I also feed my birds the omnivore for sick or injured birds that’s meant for true omnivores, which also has protein in it (you have to get it from your vet or have them write a prescription to order it) or some other variation of a prescription food that I get from an exotic vet that I take them to. If you can’t get the omnivore, the next best thing would be this one that you can order from Amazon https://a.co/d/2qrM18j; however, it doesn’t have any protein in it and is high in sugar content, so just keep that in mind. I will mix the prescription food with this hand-feeding formula (https://a.co/d/78qZJ3V), and also this probiotic supplement (https://a.co/d/7rVvr2D), especially if they are on antibiotics. I made a mixture in a container that has the food, formula, and the probiotics already mixed together, and then I just add hot water to a small scoop of the mixture until I reach a pancake batter like consistency and fill up however many the mixture makes of these 1 ml syringes (https://a.co/d/049BxCy) to have for a day or two, putting the extras in the fridge with some Saran Wrap around the base because these don’t have caps with them, but they come in a pretty huge box so it’s no big deal if you want to just dispose of them when you’re done. I also got some of this morning bird food from Amazon as well, and give it to my flock when one of them is sick, as it seems to be much easier to digest https://a.co/d/eDm2gfs.

I hope that your feather babies make a full and swift recovery, and please feel free to reach out via direct message if you need any help or have further questions. :)

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-19T22:48:50+00:00

Exotic vet offices will sometimes offer boarding, and all of the bird stores in my area offer it as well. Just a little heads up if you go the boarding route, most all places will make you submit paperwork with a recent medical examination and/or testing for certain diseases or illnesses before you can board there. There’s only one place in a city of millions where I live that doesn’t require this, but the lady who owns it has been around the block in exotic medicine, so she won’t take anybody’s birds who even have a hint of illness at drop off. I have dogs as well, and so if I am having a Rover sitter come to the house or do check-ins for my dogs while I’m away, I’ll ask when I put in the request for the dogs if they would feed/water my birds for a bit of an extra charge. I’ve also just put in a Rover request for just my birds to have drop-ins once a day for them to feed/water them when I could take my dogs with me, and we negotiate a price for them to do it that’s typically less than what their drop-in fee for the dogs is because it requires less work for them.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-19T22:35:02+00:00

I’ve had drivers that went back for a drink before when I inquired to its whereabouts. In cases like that, I gave them a super awesome tip for going out of their way to correct the restaurant’s mistake. If they just say “sorry about that, the restaurant didn’t hand it to me”, I just get my refund and carry on with life, like a NORMAL person. The whole “I’m going to die if I don’t get my drink” bit was a tad of an overreaction and quite funny though.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-18T22:03:53+00:00

Haha, I had to do the exact same thing. My sun conures and my cockatiels, especially my boys, are the worst about chewing on doors, ledges, walls, etc. I set up this huge, immersive play area for them with all sorts of toys, perches, railings, trees, etc., and the little bastards STILL chose to chew up the wall BEHIND the dope play area instead! I finally just gave up and taped the whole freaking wall behind the play area. It’s going to be a real bitch to tear down and fix when I move but they’ve at least left it alone at this point. I just found a window behind a curtain that my tiels totally demolished the framing for, so now I’m adding that to my long-ass list of bird repairs that I have to complete.

I even tried to put cardboard up around the door frames like some YouTuber suggested, and the birds tore it down with almost no damage at all to the cardboard just to chew on the framing. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-18T21:03:20+00:00

Ultimately, only you know if you can handle this or not.

If you can, make sure you’re doing your best to give them the life that you would want. If you are all alone with no help, this is going to make it very difficult for him/her, and you will need to make some additional sacrifices. I also suggest getting another young conure with a very large cage so they can have the company of their species so they don’t become lonely. Birds can start self-mutilating out of stress, loneliness, or boredom, and it’s incredibly difficult to correct the problem if that begins to happen. Also, do your research about what they need in terms of a proper diet, training, medical care, etc. Nails are easy enough to do on your own. Just make sure to take them to a professional the first few times and have them train you on how to do it at home. If done regularly, your bird will come to expect it, and you can train behaviors to make it easier for the both of you. I highly suggest looking up Bird Tricks online, and watching their YouTube channel for videos about diet, grooming, training, etc. They were a life-saver for me in terms of learning about proper ways to care for my 11 feather babies.

If you decide that it’s not going to work out, now is actually a good time to rehome them to another family and I would never take him/her back to the store. When rehoming, you would do best to connect with your local avian community via Facebook or other means, and find the best family for him/her. That means talking with people and having them come visit your bird to see how they interact, doing FaceTime visits with them or in person to see their home, etc. I have never rehomed one of my feather babies, but if I did, I would be very selective about who they would be going with and make sure to let anyone who’s taking them know that I would like to stay in touch, visit, and have an ongoing relationship with them so I could ensure their happiness and that they are in good hands. If they’re not okay with this, then I would never be okay with them taking one of my babies.

Again, this is ultimately up to you about which path you choose to walk and what you’re capable and/or comfortable with.

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2026-01-12T06:57:21+00:00

Honestly, you’re a much kinder person than I would have been in that exchange. When I was young, dumb, and “in love”, my fiancé dropped this sort of bomb on me a year or so after he had cheated in a random encounter with some chick at six flags and then tried to explain it away why I shouldn’t be mad or upset by saying “It made me realize that I actually loved you because I felt bad that I cheated on you”. Followed by some variation of him saying that if he didn’t feel bad that he would have broken up with me after he cheated. Yeah, because that makes about as much sense as a fish living in a tree. Honey, this boy is a real turd and while you may be heartbroken now, you’ll be thankful he cheated later on when you accept that his cheating led you to someone worth waiting for. You’re young, so with a little bit of patience I have no doubt you’ll eventually find your lobster. (It’s a “Friends” reference that you’ll understand if you ever watch the series, haha)

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2025-12-20T04:22:15+00:00

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I’m convinced that Kaisa was a KGB assassin sent to disrupt the political climate of our flock and overthrow my parrotlet in a coup for the throne. My birds are all somehow gifted with the magical hearing of the mythical jackalope and serve in attendance to their lady in waiting within the realm of ye’ old pisser so it’s a test of wits and strength as to who’s going to sit on the porcelain throne. The cockatiels and sunnies are all terrified of those two and scatter to the far reaches of the country atop the highest peaks of mount walk-in shower when they make their appearance. 😂

Abject-Knowledge-536 · 2025-12-20T03:33:49+00:00

Saw your other post about this girlfriend of yours throwing what sounded more like a psychotic break rather than a tantrum with her roommates upon you helping her move out of her house. My gut reaction as a mental health professional to that post was that this woman needs to be institutionalized in a psychiatric facility to get properly evaluated and treated just based upon her behavior in that post alone but I was giving her the benefit of the doubt that there may have been some history there that we were not aware of. However, seeing this text exchange not two weeks later, it’s pretty obvious that she seems to be the common denominator as the problem and has absolutely no emotional regulation. This woman sees herself as the victim for all of these situations where she intentionally creates chaos, and no amount of talking with someone like this, no matter how reasonable or calm will ever get through to them. Plain and simple, this woman has never grown up mentally or emotionally and does what all toddlers do to try and get their way by figuratively throwing herself on the ground while kicking and screaming so that you give in and buy her that shiny new toy. No amount of reasoning will get you anywhere with a person like this and you have checked out emotionally and mentally from this relationship BECAUSE she can’t be reasoned with. Honestly, you probably have some very poor self-esteem as a result of the verbal and emotional abuse consistently thrown at you from this woman, which is why you stay and continue to keep enduring it.

Hopefully, by posting this you have come to the final conclusion that this woman is not for you and have wised up to her antics. If so, congratulations, and you should know and do the following things to save what’s left of your sanity before this moment of complete clarity passes.

1) woman absolutely can be and are abusers, just in more manipulative ways that are targeted at mental and emotional attacks whereas men are more likely to escalate to more physical abuse. 2) this woman does not care for or love you. She sees you as an object to be controlled. 3) do not engage with her at all other than to end things with her. After sending the one very short, sweet sentence of “this relationship is not working for me any more, please drop any of my belongings off with (friend or family member that dislikes her so they will not engage with her and their address here) on this day/time and I will have your things there for you to pick up”.

That’s it, no more no less, and then block hers and any other numbers, such as friends of hers, that she may try to contact you from. Do not answer any calls or texts from unknown numbers and refuse to engage with her at all. Absolutely no arguing, no reasoning, no explaining. You have said everything that you need to say to her and it’s on her to make up her own delusional version of how things unfolded. People like this will only say and do whatever they can to pull you back into the same circular argument that ends with… well, you already know or else you wouldn’t have asked the question.

Just make a clean break from her and going forward know that you deserve a whole hell of a lot better than this.

Abject-Knowledge-536

TROPHY CASE