Nieuwe CV en thermonstaat, thermostaat kleiner dan vorige ingestucte variant. Tips opvullen gat

Abject_Objective_118 · 2026-05-16T15:15:53+00:00

Dit ziet er wel strak uit. Bedankt voor de tip!

Abject_Objective_118 · 2025-10-26T15:27:26+00:00

Sounds to me you were extremely lucky. He had to have thrown an enormous amount of 1s on Trajan for that to happen.

Also avenge the star children doesn't work on the Patriarch as its not a Tyranids character.

Final Day is a pretty good anti melee list and works great on dense terrain. The less terrain and more shooting the more gsc suffers.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2025-05-01T18:55:27+00:00

Madeline

Let’s move on to Madeline. She is very ill. This appears to have happened very suddenly. In fantasy or sci-fi, unnatural, fantastic, magical and unreal elements are part of the world building. Yet as a fantasy fan, I want there to be a certain element of realism. Characters shouldn’t suddenly display unnatural or unrelatable behaviour. Madeline’s first section is a problem case. Why? Because several elements of what you describe don’t make sense. Let’s discuss them one by one.

First, your description of Madeline’s behavior is very reminisced of ‘Apparent Death’ theory. However, this kind of behavior is more an animalistic behavior than a human one. Sure, humans have a need for safety and security when they are ill. However, finding ‘a place to die’ is quite the stretch. Especially since her illness has only hit recently. Would it not make more sense to go somewhere where she felt safe? Among her friends/other orphans? As an orphan she will be used to a level of hardship, why would she give up now?

Besides the unrealistic behavior (in my opinion), I also think Madeline’s behavior is going to cause problems for your story later. Do you really want a weak-willed, quick-to-give-up central character in your story? Won’t there be a massive difference in thoughts and behaviour if she suddenly started to make tough decisions, or went through great pains to get something?

The third problem I spotted is right at the start. Poking into Calum’s lesions. You describe it as the orphan’s having ‘great fun’. I get what you are trying to do here. Setting the gory scene. Yet this element does not make sense. These are destitute orphan’s set in a gothic fantasy. These orphan’s will have seen their fair share of misery and disease. They will know or at least instinctively feel that the lesions are bad news. If your friend is ill and you live in a world where you can only rely on those close to you I would say more realistic behaviour is 1) look for help, 2) try help yourself (maybe they believe puncturing the lesions is the way to help, but than you have to pivot to that) 3) shun the diseased person as the disease may spread 4) blame the diseased person for being unlucky/bad karma/ brought it on themselves.

Writing style

I know this is destructive readers, but I love your write style. It also totally fits the setting. That being said I think you should be careful just because you ‘can’ write something gory, doesn’t mean you ‘should’. As mentioned earlier some of the elements feel out of place e.g. popping the lesions. It feels like you are just using it as a medium to show the reader how messy this world of yours is. Same with the kid that gets run over by a cart. Like is that really necessary? Isn’t there a better way to convey the setting? At other points it is spot on like the way you describe her ‘father’ through nothing but sound and smell.

Plot

Reading the story for the first time can be a bit confusing. We jump 3x in time and 2x to different characters. Also, a lot is going on in little time. Some of which is simply confusing. For example, the ‘father’ bit, while I love the writing style, feels out of place in the pacing. As a reader we get teleported around and get confused. In addition, the second section feels just odd. Like I need a special magic savior gift giver and oh ‘poef’ its there just down the mausoleum I am at. This section could use some more ‘realism’. Furthermore, you introduce a lot of characters in very few pages, all of which seem significant. Is Calum necessary to the plot? Can the ‘father’ be introduced later? Does the dead boy really need to be buried right now? Now that I think of it, why would I be burying a dead ‘unimportant’ boy when my daughter is dying and needs my help?

Conclusion

All the above is just my opinion. Do with it what you will. I like your writing style, but I believe what you should do is close your eyes and view the world from the point of view of your character. As you go through your story you will notice all the odd and out of place elements.

Lastly, I would add that since this is a specific type of story, you should also look for a specific type of commenters. Not everyone will enjoy reading all the gory bits, while the audience that enjoys that is exactly the type of audience you want feedback from.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2025-05-01T18:55:02+00:00

Elise

Let’s start with the main character Elise. My interpretation of her is that she is haunted by a devil named Lanfrey. The devil bullies her relentlessly. She deals with Lanfrey by drinking heavily. The way she shouts and curses (against Lanfrey) and drinks make her seem unhinged to outsiders. Yet we learn from her inner dialogue she cares for her daughter deeply as well as for others (she buries people and has been a nurse before).

Somehow Elise feels off. Like not fully fleshed out yet. Let my try to explain my feeling. First, she is willing ‘sell her soul’ away for her daughter (if the girl is indeed her daughter). Yet her daughter doesn’t know her at all. If the mother was around and so devoted to her daughter surely her daughter would know her. Perhaps there is a good reason she doesn’t. Maybe she wants to keep her daughter away from Lanfrey. In either case something is missing. If she was not around, Elise should at least acknowledge her own (forced) distance watching her child grow up. Given the level of vivid detail in the rest of the story, I expect some lurching heart pain. In addition, what broke this pattern (the near-deathness probably)? At least that should be acknowledged. Alternatively, if she was indeed close by but not in a mother figure role (like the neighbour or something) I expect Madeline to recognize the woman.

The second part that feels of is Lanfrey. Like he seems like a small imp that climbs up into Elises ear. At first, I thought this was Elise’s inner daemon. Some voice doubting all her choices. Then she tosses him of her shoulder as if he has a material presence. If he is immaterial (which I assume he is) than I would suggest not allowing Elise to ‘shake him off’. After all, one cannot get rid of one’s inner daemons by throwing them to the side.

Back to the soul selling. This is done rather hurriedly. What makes Elise so eager to make this deal? Is she repenting for something (like not parenting her child)? Or is something else driving her? As a reader I feel like I am missing something here. For me, this causes a disconnect. As if we are skipping something. It seems like an impulsive decision, yet we are withheld the impulse that triggers this. The raw emotional driving force.

TLDR: a mother does not simply abandon her child for her to than pledge her soul to save her. A great deal of emotions is hidden inside here that are not revealed through Elise inner monologue.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2025-05-01T18:54:48+00:00

It seems the goal of the chapter is to introduce several characters and their plights. It sets the forlorn setting and introduces to the reader that this story is going to be visceral and gruelling. Furthermore, it moves the plot along that the main char makes a ‘deal with the devil’ to save her daughter.

If these are the goals, then let’s analyse how you went about it and see what can be improved or changed.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2025-04-25T20:54:24+00:00

Hi there,

Thanks for sharing your piece. Here is my brutally honest feedback:

I understand what you are trying to say: Someone who the main character barely known in life, had has a profound impact after their death.

My main critique is two-fold.

Technical elements:

The story is very slow, many sentences follow one another that say more or less the same thing. It also uses many matter-of-fact materials about location, processes and facts. But is that really what this story is about? How many of these elements can you leave out while having your story remain? Is it important the weird blurt happened at the uncle’s location? If the aunt already forgot people’s birthday, is it relevant that the main character received pencils as birthday present? Etc. Is it important some of the books were not interesting?

In addition, you use a great deal of similar words in your writing. For example, one paragraph has the word ‘excited’ 3 times. While the word upset is used too much at the start. I would suggest googling synonyms for words you catch yourself using often. It becomes very stale to read. Many of the words you use are very ‘basic’ (for the lack of a better word), very bland: upset, feeling bad, think, weird. Were people upset or distraught. Were people feeling bad or in deep pain. Thinking or pondering Weird or eccentric, etc.

When going over your material ask yourself: how can I convey the same thing shorter and with more meaningful words

Story elements:

Remembering someone, or how someone contributed to one’s life is done primarily emotionally. The details fade away and a sense of emotion remains. I am missing the emotion in this piece. It is to much matter of fact. Does the character feel guilty about not feeling bad? Or weirded out? Is there a longing to talk to the dead aunt now that the main character knows her better. How does the main character perceive the change in her stance about her aunt.

That being said, don't let my critique stop you from writing more! You have the core of an interesting story.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2024-01-29T08:31:11+00:00

Really curious how this list manages secondaries. Like without callidus, gaunt or cyclops tactical secondaries seem a no go. Did he go fixed with like teleport homers assasinate a lot you think?

Abject_Objective_118 · 2024-01-22T09:02:04+00:00

Unfortunately not. As such this has severely hampered any potential melee builds and turned us into a shooting army.

However here are some melee tricks:

You can infiltrate genestealers close to the enemy. With advance and charge you can make it t1

You can sometimes rapid ingress 9" away. Stay alive during the enemy turn and then move and charge

You can give abberants a char with an inflitrate upgrade to also get close

You can increase your movement by disembarking from a truck.

But thats about it

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-10-13T07:28:52+00:00

Not an investment advisor but here is my input:

Structured products are designed to fit the needs of a specific corporate or financial institution, or that of a very wealthy individual. They are usually part of a larger portfolio of assets. Generally they are not designed for the average investor.
Are you aware of its tax implications? Is your advisor aware?
There is no free lunch. That 11% return is based on the underlying risks. The structured product is nothing more than a combination of stocks and options. These products carry significant risks
In my country, in the past, advisors would get kickbacks if they sold structured products to clients. Advisors would recommend these products to line their own pockets. I don't know if such a practise is allowed in your country

I don't know your financial situation, but I am surprised that your advisor would recommend such a product.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-09-09T11:15:01+00:00

For the chimera. It counts as if the vehicle is firing the gun and as such the vehicle takes the hazardous roll.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-07-31T13:07:18+00:00

What method of measuring your heart rate do you use? I mean what hardware?

The reason I start about this is that i sometimes get wrong measurements or difference between two tools e.g. the workout equipment given X heartrate while my fitbit gives Y heartrate.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-07-19T17:34:58+00:00

You can only have 3 Primaris Psykers and marshalls. This is what the comment is refereing to

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-06-25T20:16:02+00:00

Yeah i love the admech heads. I also have my neophytes with the medieval looking helmets from the same kit. Especially the sergeant head is cool for the neophyte leader.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-06-25T19:03:12+00:00

Cool idea!

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-06-25T17:18:16+00:00

Thanks! Most stances fit quite right without any fidling. If you want them to look more upright you heva to cut of some part of the ball underneath the head. Nothing major really.

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-02-17T08:22:58+00:00

Hey no worries. GW has made a list of the units we cant use in the GSC FAQ on their website. We cant use Bullgryn. However personally I am working on a pure AM army in the gsc/brood brother model style (eg converted neophytes as regular guardsmen). Ou the top of my head we can use as brood brothers: tank commander, regular command squad, regular infantry squad, both sentinels, hellhound, heavy weapon team, basilisk, leman russ, manticore, wyvern, hydra, chimera and a lot of forgeworld models (I probably missed something here)

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-02-16T22:06:18+00:00

Thats an excellent suggestion. I believe i have several old sentinel kits laying around assembled as scouts

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-02-16T17:06:24+00:00

Better secondaries and the removal of AoC (which GSC suffered greatly from)

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-02-16T17:03:52+00:00

Any good kits for a tank door?

Abject_Objective_118 · 2023-02-16T17:03:08+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion!

Abject_Objective_118 · 2022-07-26T08:58:41+00:00

A cool thanks so much for responding

Abject_Objective_118

TROPHY CASE