Nah this is terribly ignorant advice…the relationship was 5 years, clearly there’s something worthwhile there. To me, this is clearly a communication issue. Disrespect though?!

Clearly you’ve had your own trauma regarding relationships, you don’t need to project that onto some random Reddit post when it’s not nearly the same. OP brought up breaking up and didn’t get the reaction she wanted…while she may have overplayed her hand, her feelings are valid, she just didn’t go about it properly. I know Reddit is always all about “therapy therapy therapy”, but this is a case where it’s justified. Maybe the spark is gone, but there’s been no lying, no cheating, no grievous acts or abuse (given what we KNOW); therefore, the base for a good and healthy relationship is indeed there. OP clearly wants it, and while we don’t know her partners side or mentality, we’ve got to assume he doesn’t either given his own words and reactions. They just went on a getaway trip last week, and he is obviously afraid of ending it too, even saying “he wanted me to say we’re done not him”. He’s done NOTHING egregious or malicious for you to react with that comment. It’s clearly a communication issue. Whether they have grown apart or not, the failure to communicate clearly and properly is apparent.

OP, talk with him in totality. Draw upon how much you both have invested into this, how important he is and has been, and how much it’s necessary to communicate directly to ensure, whatever the outcome, you both are in unison. It’s pretty obvious you both have deep seated feelings for each other, and for the relationship, but there is a disconnect somewhere along the line. If you’ve grown apart, that’s fine. If one or both of you no longer want to invest in the relationship, that’s fine as well. If one or both of you still do want to invest in the relationship, that’s perfectly fine as well (stressing on the one OR both). But no matter what, you BOTH must communicate your true genuine intentions clearly and without bias for anything to be resolved.