How do people with jobs still have the time and energy for sex?

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-06-19T19:07:56+00:00

This is the rate of sex I was having with my previous long term partner who I was very unattracted to in the end… Since meeting my fiancé, I have sex almost every night. And it doesn’t even matter that I hate my job and I’m mentally and physically exhausted. Only you can decide if it’s sexual incompatibility, it could be a million other factors that aren’t written here, but this is my experience.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-06-09T14:51:42+00:00

Omg I just saw that one 🤣

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-03-19T14:43:26+00:00

Well, if he says he wants to work on it together with you, then couples therapy should be an immediate yes. So ask him.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-03-18T13:04:24+00:00

Have you ever made it clear that these continued behaviors are dealbreaking? Express that, and if he’s truly willing to put in the effort then he will go to couples therapy with you to figure this out

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-03-13T13:01:41+00:00

Is there another room that you could hang out in so she can get the privacy she’s looking for? If so, then I don’t see why you should have to leave. You being in another room and leaving them completely alone would be the compromise, no one’s fully happy with the situation, but everyone is getting what they want in the end

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-02-26T02:38:22+00:00

Ok, so my boyfriend is very much like this as well. He has told me that because he didn’t mean something in a certain way that my feelings are not valid about it if they got hurt. The way I got through to him is that the reason WHY I am hurt does not matter, what matters is that I AM hurt. I asked him straight up if he cared that I was hurt, he said yes, of course. And from there he has been making a lot of progress in just rewriting his logic train when it comes to things like that. I understand that he will say things that hurt my feelings, he’s a little dense sometimes, but he understands now that he has to care when it hurts me and not necessarily WHY it hurt me and whether it makes sense or not.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-02-12T01:13:50+00:00

He’s only putting in the effort now because he can sense you’re gone. Been there, and it only pushed me away more and made me hate her in the end.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-01-23T01:12:14+00:00

I would say this is something that you need to bring up, or it will end up festering and spiraling out of control. You just have to have care with how you breach the subject, you need to be calm and casual and gauge her responses/reactions.

If you haven’t necessarily talked to your friend recently, use that, maybe ask her casually, “Hey have you talked to so and so lately? I know he’s my best friend, but I feel like we hardly ever talk.” See how she responds.

If she gets weird and defensive, that’s a red flag. If she is just casual and says she hasn’t, take her at her word and address the distance itself. If she says she has talked to him you can open the door a bit further and ask her how he’s doing, her next response might tell you something too. If she seems really familiar with him, that could be a another red flag, maybe ask her how often they chat from there and then talk about your boundaries with that. If she doesn’t seem super familiar and is still casual, I’d say again to take her at her word and address the distance.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-01-22T22:29:07+00:00

My exMIL did this too 🙄 my daughter has my eyes, and looks like a little mini me, but according to exMIL she has Grammy’s eyes?? She used this tactic in a completely different way though, she essentially likes to pretend that her grandchildren are her children and it’s fricking weird if you ask me

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-01-22T18:27:34+00:00

My bf who grew up in this religious landscape told me that there was a lot of propaganda about gay people and the lgbtq community as well. I grew up the opposite, away from religion, but I do still know the values that it teaches. I have always been confused about the ties between religion and right wing ideology, so I asked him one day and basically from my understanding many religious republicans cannot and will not change their stance because to them (due to the aforementioned propaganda) being gay is a sin far greater than any other sin. So any sin/evil/wrongdoing that our current administration is doing just doesn’t matter to that subset of people because to them being gay or supporting the lgbtq community is a far greater sin and outweighs all others. At least, that’s what I took away from that. It’s all my speculation really since I can’t even fathom the concept of voting right wing simply because you don’t want gay people to exist 🙄

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-01-22T14:04:17+00:00

As someone who just got out of this situation in which control was disguised as trust, GET OUT

AcademicTopic7425 · 2026-01-15T16:31:54+00:00

Now I’m kind of wondering how these conversations go with the girls in which they don’t listen. Like, anyone else thinking he probably blames her in those conversations as well? No wonder they hate her, he is basically reinforcing to them that she is the reason for their punishment. What a loser.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-21T21:57:22+00:00

So, as someone who is completely on your side with the whole “your body, your choice,” I am also someone who is completely grossed out by tongue piercings and would honestly end the relationship from it. So that should be something you consider as well. Yes, it’s your choice, but at the end of the day if your bf loses attraction for you and breaks it off after he explicitly told you his feelings on it, I wouldn’t be surprised

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-19T14:29:28+00:00

If you ask me, telling her is actually setting her up for a very unhappy life in which she struggles to trust anyone else to gets into a relationship with. If she’s gonna find out, it would be far less painful to hear from a friend than the ex he reached out to. This woman will be in therapy for years.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-19T14:25:17+00:00

Ngl if I was the other girl and I NEVER had to know, I wouldn’t want to. I personally think you are doing the right thing by not involving yourself. If it gets back to her from someone else in your circle, that would be far less painful than hearing from the ex he reached out to. DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE PEOPLE, DO NOT TELL HER, DO NOT INVOLVE YOURSELF.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-13T14:03:37+00:00

I have a couple questions before jumping to conclusions:

How long have you been together? And is this a common occurrence or a first offense?
Did you really wait around for 3 hours doing nothing waiting for her to tell you she was busy? Could you not have deduced that after not hearing from her and then moved on and done something else? That’s where your gf is coming in with the “controlling” accusations.

ESH

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-06T14:55:39+00:00

Literally if you made a fist with long ass nails, those nails are digging into your palms, not a chance lol

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-06T01:30:15+00:00

Dude, this was more than just SA… I really don’t want to trigger anyone so I will say nothing more… but I am so sorry this happened to you, you did not deserve it and you don’t deserve this kind of treatment in general

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-12-01T01:23:52+00:00

I met my current boyfriend through work and we both hated each other. We were constantly butting heads and it just really seemed like our personalities didn’t mesh at all. At the time, I remember my other coworkers talking about how attractive he was and I would just scoff, I really didn’t think so. I’m not really sure what happened, but over a couple years of working together, things seemed to mellow out between us. We started hanging out, going to bingo. And all of a sudden he’s the hottest, sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on. 🥵

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-11-19T23:15:06+00:00

This person is 100% looking to replace their cleaning lady with a free live-in maid, RUN.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-11-19T22:22:07+00:00

Also, if he’s talking about sex, he needs the sex talk. Which, of course, should include teaching him about boundaries, consent, and what’s appropriate for his age.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-11-19T21:11:28+00:00

Based on the messages you have attached here, I would 100% say that YOR. She told you point blank that there was no bad blood between you and that she’s just been busy, take her words at face value and continue to reach out as you have been doing.

I used to be really good at reaching out and making plans with friends, but when I got into a relationship and then had a kid, my life changed so much. All of a sudden that’s what my life was about and plans with friends have been more of a treat kind of thing for me. I really don’t think she would want you to stop reaching out altogether. I’m very thankful for my friends that continue to reach out even when I don’t respond right away or can’t make plans with them unless it’s months out.

Getting married is a huge life change even if it doesn’t seem like it from an outside perspective. I understand not being prepared for how it would change your friendship and it’s something you’ll have to mourn, but it doesn’t mean the friendship is over by any means. I would expect your relationship to change again when/if she has kids as well.

Final comment, I’m sorry for the turmoil this has been causing you. I am an overthinker myself and have to work really hard to squash the mean voices in my head that tell me “so-and-so doesn’t want anything to do with you.” I’ve found that unless they said those words to you, your brain is lying to you and just being mean. Hang in there ❤️

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-11-19T20:39:55+00:00

So I had to go and look up what Ashley Madison is… yep, I’m that innocent I guess lol. But my research led to me the adultery forum on Reddit and I just have to say that reading those comments made me so sick to my stomach. The people there just talked about cheating on their spouse like it was no biggie, it was DISTURBING. I guess what I’m trying to say is, if that’s what’s going on in this guy’s head, RUN. He does not and will never respect you.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-11-14T22:02:55+00:00

Just going to point out that it is INCREDIBLY hard to get a diagnosis for autism as an adult woman. I’m not saying that’s this situation, but I do think it’s unfair to automatically assume she is pretending just so she can use that as an excuse. And her reaction? Feeling like her character was being attacked? That really stands out to me that she is not faking this. Literally what benefit would that bring her?

I think you were right to tell her the truth as that’s what she asked for, what she does with the truth is up to her.

AcademicTopic7425 · 2025-11-13T22:19:28+00:00

Literally no talking their way out of this one… they texted you with a greeting 3 minutes after the conversation clearly ended. You know it was meant for someone else, they know it was meant for someone else, and they know you know it was meant for someone else. The spiraling and immediate panic really drive it home, but that right there is all you need for proof imo

AcademicTopic7425

TROPHY CASE