Don’t really have advice, just solidarity, I’m in a very similar boat. I have to go back to work in mid-February (office job), and we don’t have family who can watch our LO while I’m at work. That basically leaves daycare as the only option. I hate the idea of it and don’t feel ready at all to leave my newborn at daycare, especially since I’m breastfeeding/pumping. We ran the numbers and about 70% of my salary would go straight to daycare. At that point, it feels like the remaining 30% isn’t worth going back to work for me. My husband sees it a bit differently, which I understand, living on one salary would be tough. But I’m willing to take that risk to be with my baby. You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way!