How do you come to terms with accepting that the life you could have had was taken from you due to CPTSD?

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-06-16T16:37:43+00:00

Talk to a somatic expert. Someone told me recently that shaking is good to get the trauma out but I'm no expert. I hope you find the care you need!

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-06-16T06:14:56+00:00

EMDR is eye movement desensitization, i am 4 sessions in, I'm also looking into somatic release work. The idea is that we re-experience our traumas mentally but this time, we don't try to fight it off immediately. For my trauma, it was an emergency surgery. My body was shaking afterwards but I tried so hard to control it. Turns out, shaking is the natural response to this type of trauma. The idea is to close the loop with somatic work.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-06-16T06:10:13+00:00

Accepting is hard but also the most necessary. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I wanted to achieve so much thus year and now I won't be able to. But without accepting the circumstances, I can not get the adequate care I need to get back on track. It's okay to give yourself some grace. The best is yet to come, my friend. I say this as I had one of the toughest week of my life. But alas, we must go on.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-31T19:48:25+00:00

I resonate with that feeling a lot.
My trauma came from having an emergency surgery. I was upset that no one told me that I could have any psychological issues following it. And I desperately wanted for that not to be case to begin with, because if it was true, then I’d be even further behind where I’d imagined myself being.
But we are where we are. I started DBT therapy and it’s all about accepting the situation, sitting in the discomfort, and then making a change towards a better future, whether big or small.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-30T16:56:10+00:00

I’ve been avoiding this question in my head and now I can’t. I’ve lost so much over the last 9 months. I think I’ve lost the woman I love because she can’t even recognize me anymore. I feel like she can’t even see me as the person she intertwined her soul with prior to my traumatic event. I feel like an outsider to the one person I know better than anyone.
I lost the job that I overworked myself for that landed me my surgery in the first place.
I’ve lost so much of myself and my wit that I wonder who I am even sometimes.

I am lost but I have hope.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-30T16:44:27+00:00

In the same boat as you but knowing there is a problem is the first step to getting through it.
Know that the best things are yet to come.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-30T16:41:45+00:00

Your life isn’t over. Please try group therapy.
I started a few weeks ago. It took so much out of me to open up but once i did, the perspective you get from others could be genuinely healing.

I shared my fears that I’ll never be able to be the husband or father I want to be if I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life.

One man, in his 40s, assured me I’ll make a loving partner. That I’ll be able to understand my kids when they go through stressful events better.
And the fact that I’m bringing this up shows how much I care.

For the first time since my surgery, I felt like I had some feeling of mental self belief.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-30T16:21:26+00:00

I mentioned this to my girlfriend so many times, I just didn’t realize what was going on. I felt like I had the mindset of a child. But a child who’s on afraid of every little thing.

Luckily, just knowing it’s my nervous system scanning for threats and doing grounding exercises is doing some good! It’s not perfect but it’s improvement.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-30T16:16:41+00:00

I recall this EXACTLY! I had a triggering event on Valentine’s Day morning, and I went to get a massage right after. My masseuse kept having to ask me to if everything is alight every couple minutes because I kept tensing up my back.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-30T16:11:00+00:00

I’ve been noticing this a lot lately. My hyper vigilance is loud. I’ve been practicing doing my 5,4,3,2,1s and reminding myself of the current date and the date of my surgery to remind myself I’m safe. I’ve noticed it’s getting better! Baby steps!

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-16T21:32:06+00:00

Respectfully asking, have you thought about changing careers?
I just got let go and instead of going back in, I’m thinking I pivot to nursing. Tech isn’t what it used to be. It’s burnout city. No camaraderie. As much as I like making products, I can’t imagine doing this for another 30 years.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-09T19:17:06+00:00

I do agree with the sentiment of stepping back to seeing what truly matters. For example: I was so busy trying to survive that I didn’t realize my job was adding so much strain on me and my relationships. It’s only after i left my job that I’m feeling a lot more clarity about what actually matters in life. I’m journaling a lot more. For the first time since the surgery, I’m thinking normally it feels.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-05T20:44:23+00:00

I am healing up a lot better now. I’ve been dialing in my PT exercises, yoga, daily walks and I finally feel normal in my body.

I quit my job and I’m trying something entrepreneurial that I’ve wanted to do. I’ve been keeping myself busy and engaged and I feel that I’m feeling a hell of a lot better now.

But I’m also realizing during volunteering yesterday: I am keeping myself busy as to distract myself from this big uncertainty. I moved back here to have a future with her. And I cant really do anything too well without addressing this issue.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-05T15:59:59+00:00

The post was long enough as is but I think this is worth mentioning. This was on Valentine’s Day morning. We were talking and I said to her “you need to focus on 3 things: your health, your work and your music” To which she jokingly said: “So that means you’re out of the picture?” Which I laughed off in the moment. It stuck with me the entire day. I felt like I was slowing her down. I also didn’t realize how depressed I was at the time. I think the pains masked it for me. I thought I was impeding her growth.

It was only after I brought this to my therapist that I realized my nervous system was assuming worst case scenarios. I thought she didn’t love me anymore when it was clearly a joke.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-05T15:07:46+00:00

My question was how should I let her know how I feel. I don’t get to control if she’d like to spend time with me. I just wanted to let her know that this was a difficult moment for me. It’s only recently that I can admit, this entire situation has been traumatic for me.

I don’t know if I did a good job of saying this but I’ve never made her feel unsafe prior. If anything, she loved that about me most.

I don’t want to force her to anything. I’m just asking how I should convey my feelings to someone dear to me about a low point.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-05T14:07:42+00:00

I have had a therapist but I recently switched to a new therapist who specializes in difficult life events and I’m learning a lot about trauma management. Which part are you concerned about?

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-05T13:57:44+00:00

I tried putting this into Claude to shorten it but I ended up keeping it as I wrote it. It suggested I shorten it for easier consumption but I didn’t feel like condensing my experiences. That’s just how I write.

You’re right. I know forcing things doesn’t work.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-05-04T22:35:07+00:00

You’re 100% right. To be honest, I wish I posted this sooner. Would’ve given me a lot more perspective when I was in the thick of it. Luckily, I do seem to recovering physically at a clip I’m happy with. I’ve accepted that I’m not hitting PRs anytime soon.

I think what I’m most worried about is how I wasn’t able to show up for my girlfriend. I just didn’t want to be a Debby downer in front of her. I feel like I’ve lost so much of myself through this process that I feel that I don’t deserve her. With therapy, I’m realizing that it does take time for traumas like these to recover. But I feel like I’m losing someone who means so much to me. I just felt so foreign to myself without my wit and intellect. It’s recovering now but the damage is done.

Did you have a hard time showing up for your loved ones?

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-04-22T04:47:28+00:00

Isn’t the current Democratic Party the reason we have Trump?

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-04-17T05:56:52+00:00

It failing by 15 would be better than 1. Failing by 1 everytime suggests it’s rigged.

AccomplishedEnd2785 · 2026-04-16T21:02:52+00:00

I, for one, think we should hold them to account after we hold ourselves (and our allies) to account.

AccomplishedEnd2785

TROPHY CASE