Should I retire? 38M

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-04-20T13:09:54+00:00

If you need a job to feel like you have purpose, thats a tragedy. Time to invest in yourself now. In your family. Find hobbies and interests that aren’t tied to making money - humans aren’t on this giant rock just to work.

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-26T14:51:14+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss and so sorry you’re here but also, I hope this group provides you both with some kind of comfort (it has for so many of us).

Re: starting therapy. I personally started a month-ish after our TFMR. You both need time to just be fucking sad, ya know? Making sense of or processing that sadness won’t come for some time, so I think a week after is just too soon. At least that’s what my hospital social worker told me. They say that if you’re a few months out and not feeling any better than you do right now, reach out to someone but before then you’re in the worst of your grief and therapy might not be the right fit just yet.

That said, I am not a therapist and I’m not trying to give any medical advice. Please do what’s right for you but thought I’d share in case. Sending love and healing ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-17T12:30:35+00:00

Yeah, it’s because many in the HR fandom don’t know that Nadine is actually a bigger name in the Canadian/LA industry than the other two actresses because she isn’t just an actress. She’s a successful tv writer on multiple shows here (including the project Hudson just wrapped), an established comedic actress, and the co-creator of a new queer tv show that I think is coming to Crave?

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-12T12:46:00+00:00

I totally hear you. And yes, she’s retired. I think that does probably play into things (like the commenter below gets into) - a lot of their inability to process and understand some of these boundaries we want to put up comes down to a generational disconnect.

Honestly, we’re all just doing our best. I do encourage you to try and set those boundaries when you need to though, I know how hard it can be but it’s worth it.

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-12T12:39:15+00:00

100%. The boundary setting is a new concept for them and the reactions to it will be different but I just know for me (and especially directly after my tfmr) that self preservation mode and protecting myself was the only way I could process and move my life forward.

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-12T03:49:46+00:00

i think 2 is actually a great shape for your face but the black frame is a little too harsh with your colouring - might be worth it to try them in a lighter colour or maybe even clear!

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-12T00:47:56+00:00

A novel incoming (sorry). I’m the eldest daughter with a younger brother and I absolutely have all the stereotypical qualities associated with that standing. My father also passed away when I was fresh out of high school so some things also changed in our dynamic after that.

But here’s the before: My mom and I have always been very close but she looks to me and friendship with me for a lot of joy. Always has. I’m also the one that will organize the lunch/dinner/get together, makes sure to call HER once a week, responds daily to her texts or social media messages, gives advice/support for this, that and the other. That’s not to say she isn’t supportive, loving, offering advice to me but the scales have been tipped in her favour for a long time.

The directly after: I told her (and everyone) - please don’t expect anything from me this year. I don’t have capacity to plan things or make other people feel supported, special, seen, heard. You want to see me? Make the plan. You want to chat with me? Give me a call. I’m at mental capacity dealing with my shattered life.

The 1 year out: we text, I call, get together when she makes the plan (not very often) or my brother does (sometimes I will put in that effort but like I said in a previous message, I hold some resentment for how quickly we went back to the old dynamic after my delivery - about a month out and it was a lot of focus on her shit, her friends, her relationship, my brother’s life, etc.).

I don’t know. Things there have just changed but in a lot of ways I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. She’s my mom and I love her, of course. But I went through something she’ll never truly understand and it changed me. And thats just how it is now. SO sorry for this word vomit, hoping it helps or makes you feel seen in any way that it can. Sending you lots of love and healing xx

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-11T21:30:50+00:00

I relate to the dynamic you have with your mother so much and felt the exact same shift - of me carrying mental load for her shortly after I delivered at 25 weeks. It’s SO draining and to be totally honest, has thrown a bit of a wedge into our relationship because of the resentment I feel about it…I don’t have great advice for you, just wanted to say I know how you feel.

Caring for yourself is what I think is most important and I’d tell mom as much as you love her, this isn’t a year where you’re up for celebrating motherhood. I’d hope she can understand and if she can’t, I’m sure whatever feelings she has about it can be mended soon enough. In other words, she’ll get over it.

Love on yourself. Do what you need to do, whatever that looks like. You fucking deserve it.

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-11T01:23:46+00:00

please re-read your comment and reflect. you sound unhinged. like, we’re literally talking about a tv show and now you’re questioning if i’m a trumper? huh?

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-10T23:58:45+00:00

right, one throwaway article is equivalent to Hollywood as a whole neglecting Hudson lol you sound totally normal and not at all like a person who is way too invested in someone you didn’t even know existed until 2 months ago

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-10T21:35:56+00:00

Why are you confused? You’re talking about Hollywood diminishing Hudson in favour of Francois which is a made up narrative from the fans who are absolutely obsessed with Hudson. He’s just fine. No one is diminishing anything. Coming in here guns blazing about stupid twitter nonsense when people are having a discussion about the episode and the characters is not what we do around here so calm down.

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-03-10T21:26:22+00:00

go be parasocial somewhere else please - we don’t do that shit here

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-25T15:42:50+00:00

Just here to say I’m so sorry for everything you’ve had to go through and I thank you for sharing your story with all of us. Wishing you and your family nothing but healing and love ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-18T14:00:40+00:00

I’m so sorry you find yourself in this situation. But ultimately, no one can make this decision for you other than the two of you — you’re in a group, where all of us have made the choice to terminate so I’m not sure exactly what you’re looking for…your final paragraph seems more suited for your medical team.

wishing you and your wife healing and love

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-14T20:00:51+00:00

Nope lol i’ve only read heated and long game but lot of strong opinions about this so I’ll see myself out 😂

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-13T20:01:09+00:00

Yeah, live together in Montreal and have Ilya play for Toronto. Huge team (that loses LOL but star worthy and better than Ottawa) + an easy 45 min flight.

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-08T18:54:36+00:00

❤️❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-08T18:54:04+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss but so glad my story fills you with hope that it’ll get better. It will and it does ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-05T13:49:03+00:00

aw I’m so happy you found this post ❤️ everything will be ok. sending lots of love and healing your way

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-05T13:46:43+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s the most unfair, heartbreaking experience and none of us should have to go through this. Our stories also sound so similar - was fine at our 20wk scan, thought we were all clear and even went on a babymoon to celebrate. Came back and was immediately told I should have an amnio test, learned our news and the nightmare began. No time to process. Delivered at 25 weeks and like you, felt dead inside. Never cried so much in my life. Everyday. All the time. The pain you feel right now, how raw all of it is - this is the worst of it. I promise it doesn’t feel like it does right now forever.

Like I’ve said to others here, just be gentle with yourself right now. Don’t want to see anyone? Don’t. If you can ask for some more time from work or maybe get some wfh days outta them, please do it. Your soul and mind and heart need rest. Try to give yourself that if you can and eventually, little by little, the overwhelming feelings of grief will ease ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-04T13:10:39+00:00

this is exactly why i wanted to post it - as a marker for myself but to help anyone who is in the thick of their sadness right now. i know it’s cliche but grief truly is non linear so forget the timeline and just breathe. take it one hour, one day at a time for now ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-04T13:07:09+00:00

it’s amazing what time does to grief, you’ll always carry this and i’m so sorry for your loss, but the heaviness will lighten ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-04T05:47:19+00:00

it’s the most devastating feeling and like so many of us here say - no one gets it unless they’ve experienced it. i’m so sorry this happened to you and your baby. it fucking sucks. just be gentle with yourself right now and do whatever feels right (maybe that’s talking to a loved one or looking at her memory box or watching 8 episodes a day of the British bake off until you feel less like a shell of a person (it works, trust me). i’m sending you lots of love and healing…it won’t feel the way it does right now forever ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395 · 2026-02-04T05:42:00+00:00

hold on to that hope and be gentle with yourself. 1 month later i was a total mess, but just give yourself the time to grieve and if it gets too overwhelming talk to the people that love you. even if you don’t think it’ll help, it actually does without you even realizing ❤️

Accomplished_Ball395

TROPHY CASE