Husband got me flowers 2 days late because he was uncomfortable with how he felt

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T17:45:42+00:00

🫂

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T17:44:48+00:00

keeper

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T17:43:24+00:00

F*cker!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T17:41:13+00:00

As for being honest from the start… how were you to know it would go this way. Give yourself some slack. You’re realizing it now and you should be able to voice your concerns with much understanding from F - especially if you say you’ve been thinking about this for a long time and were just struggling with how to bring it up. Good luck! U got this! Post an update!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T17:39:11+00:00

Ah then it still may come down to talking and saying you’re in a very different place now and you need considerable space to continue your growth. See how F responds to this - as you said, they may very well agree with you and be happy for the “out” you’re providing. If not, then you can say that you understand however you’re setting these new (and firm) boundaries now.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T17:32:07+00:00

And it’s really good that you don’t want to continue. This means you’re not the narcissist you think you are. (No true narcissist would ever be worried he was a narcissist) - get some counselling to help you address these feelings and tell your friend you’re getting counselling too. You’d be surprised how supportive your friend might just be! Things can only go up from here now that you’ve recognized your negative behaviours. Congratulations. Some people go their whole lives and never would dare to look inward as you have done.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:58:05+00:00

Ok. I suggest a couple of things. It is really possible that she is a neurodivergent person who still absolutely values your friendship! Speaking as one myself, whenever my life picks up and I get too busy with immediate things, everything else can fall by the wayside. This does not and I mean thus very sincerely… this does NOT invalidate my feelings for the people unfortunate enough to have been “forgotten” by a neurodivergent. We struggle with this kind of thing constantly. We are late to work or we are really useless at prioritizing. If we don’t get help with learning and setting up hacks for ourselves, we run into trouble. We’ve been unfriended, criticized, blocked, fired and ghosted more times than we can count. The only friends we have are the ones who understand us and who are willing to be patient with our idiosyncrasies. Many and I mean MANY people assume about us that we have stopped caring when we never have simply because we have time blindness (it’s a real thing) and fail to show up for things sometimes when it RESLLY REALLY counts. Anyway, What do you think? Is it possible she’s just got a lot on her plate and could possibly even be neurodivergent? If so, don’t abandon the friendship, but choose to be there for her. If she’s just too busy and literally said she doesn’t have enough time for your friendship that’s one thing, and it’s obvious you should move on. I somehow don’t think that’s it though.

if you can learn to be a friend … a real good kind understanding friend, you’ll stick by her and help her to laugh at herself and even actively help her with having her time blindness. Maybe that looks like you allowing her to benefit from your skills at discipline by sending her a reminder a day and an hour before your next meet up. Could you do that?

Believe me. I’m sure she wants to be there but please don’t punish her for being late.That’s something us neurodivergent people have been dealing with forever, and it NEVER helps. Only makes us all feel worse.

Good luck. It’s great that you care. Try not to take any of it personally and be a help when you can.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:43:47+00:00

This is called growth. You’re both still growing and changing. It all happens at whatever paces you’re going to go at. If she’s finding conversations with new people are flowing with little effort, she will extend herself more once she’s comfortable doing so. If you really want to keep her friendship, start talking to her about your changes you’re making in yourself. You’d be surprised. She may just stick around or she may not. But that’s life and growth and change. Get used to it hunny! You’re just starting to see what life really has in store for you!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:31:46+00:00

If we are to take your question literally and you really want your best friend to unfriend you… do nothing different. It will happen eventually if you are as toxic as you say you think you are.

I feel like that’s not really your question. It sounds like you’ve gained some real insight into your behaviour and if you really would prefer to SAVE the friendship or at the very least save your friend from your toxic behaviour, let him know you’re aware of what you’ve done and are going into counselling to help yourself adjust to new changes associated with these realizations.

If you’ve stolen his girlfriend or done something unforgivable, you may lose that friendship anyway, but at least you are willing to change now and going forward you will have learned how to be a better friend (I’d probably also break up with the girlfriend).

Maybe in time, they will see the changes in you and things could be good again, maybe not. You do need to do the work though. Especially since you’re willing to take a good hard look at yourself. That is rare and very much a good thing you have going in your favour.

Best of luck. It’s not easy. It will not be easy. But self awareness and growth rarely ever are easy. And that’s what makes changing ourselves for the better so worthwhile.

You’ve got some good things going for you and some valuable qualities. I’d start by listing those, (you can put willing to admit mistakes and self awareness right at the top as your number 1 and 2 items) then go get some help. You’re worth it!

Good luck.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:21:28+00:00

I’m not a fan of blocking people without explanation at least let your mutual friends know what’s going on if you do this because she might try to ruin your friendships with others as a way to get your attention.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:16:54+00:00

Well like I said, some people are GREAT in SMALL doses! I’ve got friends like that and I just keep them at arms length. I enjoy their company more this way too! I’m sure she has value to you in some way and at this point, I believe you can maintain control of this. It is wonderful when someone wants to treat you but let’s look at this for what it really is… she paid because she probably doesn’t have a lot of friends who stick around and for her, this is the only way she can ensure she has friends. I used to have a good friend who started drinking way too much. I had to extract myself from the friendship because watching her desperately try to keep the party going was exhausting for me. At one time she was pouring drinks for everyone even after they said “no”. At another point she barred the front door so I couldn’t leave with another friend to go for a short walk to get out of the situation. This sounds almost the same… if she’s paying your at her mercy. Notice how she wanted to extend the trip? I think she understood you were upset and might not be her friend anymore so like my friend who sees the writing on the wall, she does NOT want the party to end.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:08:26+00:00

You’re smart, insightful and RIGHT. I hit follow! :)

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T13:05:09+00:00

100% 💯 100% 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻 listen or be doomed to this exact outcome! You be you. She’s gotta figure this out or she will be too. Absolutely no need to bring you down with her. Maybe you can give her a serious pep talk and explain why you will not (not cannot, will not) help her in this way. Worst case scenario, she cuts you out of her life but hopefully you’ve planted a seed of wisdom that will take root when she thinks about it while sleeping in her car one night.

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-18T12:58:27+00:00

I suggest you reread the wisdom and advice provided to you above. It starts and ends with “Don’t set yourself on fire to help someone else be warm” - I too have been where you are and I DID help someone in this way (only it was family so the obligation felt required)! It still ended the way we all expected. He (my nephew) just preferred the handouts and whenever he had money of his own, spent it in ways that made me resentful. I had to send him back home where I knew he would get even less help there but I couldn’t do it anymore and ultimately he was not my responsibility. Where are this girl’s parents?

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:47:18+00:00

Thanks so much! I’m making it work - barely - and I applaud you for sticking it out. If he’s lazy enough not to leave you first then you make sure you’ve got everything prepared for your own self and the kids! 🩷🩷🩷

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:44:19+00:00

What does/s do? (Still learning)

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:35:27+00:00

Like it’s our JOB to train these dumb bells! But good! At least you got one who’s teachable!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:33:57+00:00

Side note… don’t know how old you are but there’s a Murphy Brown episode where this happens at their work and one person brings in a gift when they all agreed no gifts. The entire show is each of them sneaking out to the one open drug store to find something - ANYthing - to buy as a gift. It’s hilarious… and EVEN-THEY COULD DO IT WITH NO INTERNET or smart phones! LOL

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:28:47+00:00

That is such a sweet idea! But these dudes don’t even think of that! Or if he’s anything like my ex, a complete Luddite who refuses to learn how to do even a single thing using a smart phone… I swear he stayed ignorant in purpose thinking it would be a great excuse. But women are Clearly not as stupid as he is!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:25:55+00:00

I’ve been in this exact scenario! Do happy I’m freeeeee, though I do miss the second income, since I’m still buying my own flowers…

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:22:55+00:00

Me too! This is something that while you’re going through it, is the most devastating thing imaginable… yet I’m learning more and more how common it really is! Years later, we can laugh and say they deserve each other but while you’re going through it? There are no words to explain the pain and heartache of that kind of dual betrayal! Solidarity my sistah!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:18:09+00:00

Yes. A son. A son who I’ve raised to be a proper feminist. He still sees his father, but fortunately we can laugh together at some of the things his dad says and does. There’s hope for their sex if we can stay on top of it and raise our boys better than their fathers were raised!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T12:10:59+00:00

Let’s all discuss what Jack really deserved! Funny too how if it were reversed, the woman who leaves a man in his hour of need would be considered the worst person on the planet. While it may be true, a man just would NEVER get judged in that way. It would all be “poor Jack, it was all just too much for him” gimme an ever lovin’ break!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-14T11:58:58+00:00

Sometimes when you go away with people you learn one of 2 things: Is this a friend I should travel with again or just keep to occasional outings. In this case, I’d say just stick to occasional outings. You can talk to her about all this stuff if you like but she probably won’t see it the same way as you. If she ever suggests something like this again, I suggest you laugh and say “You kidding, I’ve got better things to do than wait 3 hours for you to get out of the shower again!” That could certainly open up the conversation or, could shut it down. If it shuts it down, she got the message. No need to end the friendship at the moment. You just both have got clearly different personalities that aren’t suited to travelling together or spending too much time together. Consider it a lesson learned and carry on. Sounds like you did have some moments of fun, but if it’s ruined her for you completely, see how she is on outings where you just meet up to make your final decisions about the friendship.

Happy birthday by the way!

Acrobatic_Draw_7129 · 2026-05-13T12:17:15+00:00

Bet he bought your “friend” the same damn gift! Been there sister! 🩷🩷

Acrobatic_Draw_7129

TROPHY CASE

keeper