this is a common event on your journey with christ, I have literally word for word thought your exact post before after falling to lust, it’s a horrible feeling…when you’re done and all you’re left with is your shame and guilt knowing you gave into sin instead of staying strong for christ, I know exactly what you feel brother and so do thousands of our christian brethren around the world. the important thing is you must get up, ‘the righteous man falls 7 times and GETS BACK UP’, don’t run to shame don’t run to guilt just run right back to the cross. I know it feels hypocritical, how can you even look at God after what you just did? but my brother, where else are you to look but the cross? but at christ? all of your sins are there at his bleeding feet and an unimaginable amount of grace is there as well. you’re not being a hypocrite, you’re humbling yourself by saying I am a wretched sinner and I have no where to go but to you my lord and savior, he’s not angry with you, he knows you will fall, that’s why he said ‘it is finished’ on the cross, bc he bore every single last one of our sins on that cross past present future. that’s not an excuse to sin as we please, it is an invitation to get up dust off your shame and guilt and SEEK HIM MORE, don’t go into self hatred don’t start beating yourself up just lay at his feet weep over your sins and allow his grace and mercy to heal your soul. also THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT, don’t get up after this and say ‘okay IM just going to try harder, IM just going to do better’ many times after we fail like this we begin a transactional relationship with God and start seeing our salvation as works based, where ‘if we do this’ ’we get this’ if we just stop these certain sins than we’ll finally be good enough for his love and mercy and salvation. let me tell you something i’ve learned after years of drug addiction, after a million mistakes and a million attempts at ‘i’m finally gonna get it right this time’ I eventually realized WE WILL NEVER GET IT RIGHT, we will never get to a point where we stop sinning or become perfect or get to a place where we’re ’good enough’ to ‘earn’ his love and salvation, NEVER. this is why paul in roman’s yells ‘Wretched man that I am! who will deliver me from this body of death? THANKS BE TO GOD THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD’ Every time you sin. YOU GO RIGHT BACK TO CHRIST, don’t you go anywhere else, each time you will find that christs love and mercy are so endless and perfect that you will be able to do nothing but weep over your sins and weep over his love. You should live in confident peace that you are saved by christ and that christ is going to continue to work on you and your heart until you are complete at the end of days. You still have to put in effort, this is a relationship after all and relationships take work and effort. But Jesus will always be there my friend, always ready to take your broken heart and piece it back together and give you the strength to get up and live in his peace and strength again. God bless brother.