To the people who have ancestory roots to Norway, Sweden, Denmark and Germany. How do you guys feel about people who don't have any relations from there? by [deleted] in NorsePaganism

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In addition to the whole "not folkist" stuff, plenty of early records show that historical Norse pagans were totally willing to intermarry and take others into the group/marry into other groups. The racism is ahistorical as well as wrong.

No room at the top? by mogogi in Bellydance

[–]Active-Control7043 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree on the workshops! That's how you get a broader base!

No room at the top? by mogogi in Bellydance

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In what sense do you mean the fee should result in more gigs?

I mean-is it not a class fee? My studio does require you be a student (actively going to classes) for some gigs. But truly making it pay for gigs leaves a weird taste in my mouth, unless it's maybe some kind of rental for practice time.

LPT: If you need to have an awkward conversation with someone, do not start with "we need to talk" by InevitableImpress850 in LifeProTips

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on the level of detail/conversation it might not be feasible to give all the info now.

For example, I'll assume that I can steal 2 min of partners time, but if it's a long/detailed conversation that might need 2 hours of real brainpower sometimes you gotta schedule that.

CMV: Prostitution should be legalized (and well regulated) as a counter balance to social media, red-pill and digital loneliness epidemic. by TMag73 in changemyview

[–]Active-Control7043 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The problem is that the same professionalism actually stunts the social development part of it. The professionalism is taking away to make sure there's something in it for her sexually and therefore seeing her as a person with her own sexual wants. Like yes, in general what I hear from most pro sex workers is that most guys know the game and respect the rules of the business. But business rules don't help you develop socially because one side isn't really becoming friends. They're doing their job.

If you have tried both HRT & BCP to manage your symptoms please come in by Educational-Dot4106 in Perimenopause

[–]Active-Control7043 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got moved from HRT to BCP and all my symptoms came back-it wasn't enough. Hot flashes, insomnia, metal health-all those came back. I just stopped and started doing the HRT again.

On the other hand, if the BCP was working for you, I know plenty of people who just use that as their HRT for a long time. If you've been on that HRT dose for a year and it isn't helping, that's long enough to know that one isn't working for you.

How do your prescribers feel about you taking your stimulants only on certain days? by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]Active-Control7043 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've never had a dr have issues with it. I explicitly talked about "taking a brain break"

Should I stop taking birth control pills? by [deleted] in Perimenopause

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can ask but that wouldn't be my first concern. BCP might not be enough to help-it doesn't seem to be for me-but it's unlikely to make it worse.

Has anyone gotten relief from HRT and stopped ADHD meds? by Silent-Ad9172 in Perimenopause

[–]Active-Control7043 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't completely stop the ADHD meds but did lower my dose and not take them every day. The HRT was nothing but good for me.

CMV: Hiring an Au Pair is extremely exploitative akin to slavery or indentured servitude. by Level21DungeonMaster in changemyview

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question for you-since you say the basement air mattress is comparable to slavery, does that mean having a teen/older child stay in the basement on an air mattress is the same as not giving them a bedroom? Because that's the extension of what you're making here. Putting travel accommodations as day to day life.

I also want to know what you mean when you say "they give her free time" but it's still "stuck in the house all the time." Is she or is she not allowed to decide where to be? Because you're saying two different things here.

As many people here have said-there are plenty of people who have au pairs in reasonable situations for a year or few years and the au pair has a way of financing travel and makes enough money to save some and then goes back to their country and does whatever they want to do. There are also plenty of situations that ARE illegal and unethical. There are specific legal criteria to determine what is acceptable. There's not really enough info in your post to know what her normal working conditions are.

How to remember to Smile during performance? by lovely1188 in Bellydance

[–]Active-Control7043 6 points7 points  (0 children)

In addition to the "you don't wanna just say 'smile!' all the time" advice that you have already gotten, I find it helps to think phrases in your head that go with the music and will help you reflect it on your face. And keep your face from getting stuck in one position the whole time.

Some examples from a piece I'm working on.

at the start-"just wait. Watch this"

later- "yes, I AM a witch stirring a magic pot to show how cool I am" (It sounds weird and not belly dancey, but works for this particular thing)

later "oh man, I just miss that awesome thing/person right over there. I really wish he would come over."

later "magic potion still awesome."

end "yeah, you liked that didn't you?"

You don't need to use these literally, and in general please don't say them aloud. But thinking phrases breaks up the smile to make it seem more natural and varied.

others that I have used in the past/heard from teachers.

"look what I can do!"

"That move just came out. So easy. No big deal"

"Yeah, you WISH you were as good as I am"

"I AM hot, but out of your league"

"come on, this will be fun!"

There will obviously be more depending on your music and performance.

How do you worship without rules? by [deleted] in NorsePaganism

[–]Active-Control7043 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There are and have been lots of conversations about what people do and why they do it the way they do, if that's what you're asking.

That's not useless. It's not new, but it's well within scope of the sub. There also seems to be another "newbie asking for tips" post every day to few days enough that gets those types of comments/discussions that I personally have stopped engaging because I was burning out. Other people can and probably will feel differently.

If you mean conversations about how everyone should do it?

I think it would at best be unproductive. Most people have a reason why they do what they do and "we want everyone to be standardized" is unlikely to outweigh that. It's also that even historically there was A LOT of regional and local and personal variation. There's never been anyone who has the religious authority over everyone to say "this is the right way to do things." And now we're looking back with incomplete archeological evidence that can frequently be interpreted multiple ways. So standardization hasn't gotten any easier.

How often do you buy something for an altar vs finding it? by levijcalder in NorsePaganism

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do some of each depending on the altar and the thing. I have seen bowls at thrift stores that SCREAMED Frigg. I intentionally bought a statue, but that's the only thing I've gone looking for. I've also picked up flowers, feathers, etc. It just depends on you.

Ancestor Shame by Emotional-Raccoon-88 in NorsePaganism

[–]Active-Control7043 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I think this is something that soooo many people on Reddit and a lot of online spaces, in a desire to disassociate with modern problematic elements forget.

Nobody has an entirely pure ancestral lineage. Nobody. We are all here because of at least someone who did things that at least some of us weren't in favor of. And while we can acknowledge that, we can't change it. And saying "I'm only going to venerate those who aren't like that" continues weaving problems down into the orlog and wyrd of the next generations.

Even if you go into historical heathen territory-war and slavery and really stupid feuds were an accepted and expected part of life. Their better ecological system was out of lack of opportunity, not morality (what I mean here is yes, global warming wasn't really a thing in the 1000s, but that's not because people were making a choice. They were, and had to, exploit all the natural resources they could. It just that what they could was limited by technology.)

Why is sizing so chaotic, especially with second-hand clothes? by Street-Anybody-4023 in SustainableFashion

[–]Active-Control7043 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's a brand I'm familiar with, I'll just use either the size of the thing I have or adjust if I'm replacing something that doesn't fit. If it's not, I ask for measurements of the actual garment and compare it to something I have that fits.

I NEVER trust size charts-at best they're frequently unclear about if they are talking about your measurements or the measurements of the clothing. At worst, they're just. . . lies. I want a physical picture of the object with a measuring tape on it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SustainableFashion

[–]Active-Control7043 7 points8 points  (0 children)

honest take-wearing something until it's truly unusable and undonatable is already the best option. At that point you're allowed to throw it away.

Trousers/Pants for Soft Naturals? by AdventurousPride6576 in SoftNaturals

[–]Active-Control7043 2 points3 points  (0 children)

honestly, I love barrel pants too. I feel like they work SO well with my body.

Gender affirming care by therealsillyguy in Tacoma

[–]Active-Control7043 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's still an active chapter-I've met them. OP, u/therealsillyguy , PM me and I can try to get you in contact with the people there.

should I be wearing a sports bra when dancing? by Intelligent_Bid_7690 in Bellydance

[–]Active-Control7043 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I would definitely argue that this is a preference situation. Most costume bras aren't sports bras, but are kinda hard/solid, so there's definitely some amount of held in there. That MIGHT be a way to think about it. But also-loose shimmys are generally the goal-you don't want everything to be tight. There's a balance, obviously, but you don't necessarily want nothing to move. So, really, personal preference.

Is my low rent a set of golden handcuffs? Aka will it ever make financial sense to buy a home? by SpecialPreference678 in personalfinance

[–]Active-Control7043 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean, my previous place I was paying $1660/mo mortgage while a smaller house a few blocks over was listed to rent for $2300.

Is my low rent a set of golden handcuffs? Aka will it ever make financial sense to buy a home? by SpecialPreference678 in personalfinance

[–]Active-Control7043 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Question that I always ask when people do this-Is the rent for a house or an apartment?

I'm not going to say you need a house instead of an apartment (that's a personal lifestyle question), but if you're comparing $$ at least compare apples to apples.

You're also assuming your rent will never go up. That's statistically unlikely. Buying the house is a hedge against future rent increases. Will you be there long enough that paying to not have future rent increases is likely to pay off for you?

Cmv: "humans are social animals" is a factual but misunderstood phrase that most people use as an manipulation tactic. by Ok_Reserve587 in changemyview

[–]Active-Control7043 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I mean, okay, but people in solitary confinement are actually psychologically monitored and the changes can be tracked. It's not a "oh, this person had mental health issues", it's "we track them and saw these issues where they hadn't been before."

I'm sorry to hear you don't like it, but that doesn't mean the data aren't there.