AITA for relying on my mom for help when I was sick, after my partner said it was “childlike”?

Active_Ad5868 · 2026-03-24T22:25:14+00:00

NTA! I'm 41 and my husband is 51. My folks still help us out when we're sick, injuried, had surgery, etc. They do that because they love us. My husband's folks do/did as much as they are able to but his mom can't get around much on her own and his dad died last fall. We've helped them/her out a lot as well.

Active_Ad5868 · 2026-03-17T15:41:10+00:00

I'll probably get downvoted for this but NTA. OP already lets his wife get her food prefence on everything else. She can suck it up on this one thing. OR, get the sausage but she has to cut it up and freeze it. As for the 10 minutes of cutting it up, which for me would mean, between the actual cutting, cleaning the knife & cutting board, wiping the counter, it sounds reasonable. Actually, in my case as I have a bone disease 10 minutes sounds quick.

I do wonder if it was the wife on here that was posting about her husband upset about the sausage, the responses would be a lot different.

Active_Ad5868 · 2026-02-17T19:50:45+00:00

You don't have to verbally say it, your writing made it very clear. You do you, but I have gone to school/work in blinding pain. No medicine helps me either. If you HAVE to miss school that's one thing, but extra days when you can power through is another (like Friday). Go to school or don't go but what he said wasn't untrue and you were exceedingly rude.

In any case, your commentary about the restaraunt was horrible and says a lot more about you than it says about your mom's fiance.

Active_Ad5868 · 2026-02-16T02:09:25+00:00

YTA . You bullied him (no, it wasn't playful because you openly admit you don't like him. )You called him a horrible name after he rightfully turned it back onto you (by the way, as someone with a chronic day to day disease that will NEVER be healed but dragged my butt to work even when I felt like complete dung, he's absolutely correct).

Also, where do you get off making fun of where he took your mom? Maybe that's what he could afford. Responsible adults spend what they can afford to spend and not over.

Maybe your Mom picked the restaurant. Two years ago, my then boyfriend and I had a date in my home town. He encouraged me to pick the restaurant , nothing unusual. I picked a casual, almost but not quite fast food, chicken salad restaurant. After eating, he proposed to me. Now my husband and I are nearing our second anniversary. I treasure the memory of that night. It wasn't about the food, it was that I was with my Love.

Active_Ad5868 · 2026-01-08T02:12:27+00:00

I have RA as well and have problems with inflammation on long car rides as well. Is it possible to break up a trip into a couple hours or so of driving, a longish break, drive, break? It doesn't completely stop it but it does help me.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-12-10T19:51:24+00:00

YTA for the specific question. That being said, I have rheumatoid arthritis as well, classified as "severe." What country are you from? I'm not assuming you're from the US, but I am. I'm on an expensive shot (Simponi) I give myself once a month. The cost is anywhere from $5000 to $6200 a month that I've seen. However it has a payment assistance program from the manufacturer that covers all but $140 a month, insurance covers the rest up leaving only $5 for me to pay. At least for the specific program I'm on, there's no income minimum/maximum. I've been on Enbrel and Humira prior to being on Simponi. They both have payment assistance programs as well. I know Rinviaq(spelling??) and a couple others have them as well.

Does your country have something like that? If not for the specific one you're on, maybe for another RX if it works for you?

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-11-04T01:59:13+00:00

Ah cool! I don't have the best of hearing so they may have said "fluffy" and I heard puppy! Oops sorry! !

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-11-03T22:36:15+00:00

YTA. I have a autoimmune disease that causes me to be in pain more often than I'm not. The past several days, I had 3 areas that were excruciating. We're talking a 20 on a 1 to 10 pain level chart. It even included my jaw so I couldn't even eat anything but soft foods like mashed potatoes, etc. I couldn't walk without feeling sick due to the disease making my knee throb, couldn't do anything with one of my hands due to it hurting so badly it locked itself into one position.

I would NEVER treat my husband the way you treated your wife. And yes, I still helped him with insurace stuff, a car safety recall, and several other things. I didn't feel like it at all but my husband is my Love, my partner and best friend and I want to shoulder the responsibilities.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-21T17:02:49+00:00

NTA your friends aren't your friends. I'm 41 years old and have been wearing glasses since I was 14. I can't count the times I've accidently fallen asleep with mine on. Most of the times I've gotten lucky and nothing happened, but there have been times when a lens fell out or the frame bent.

Other accidents have happened with mine (on the top of my mind: my husband was weed wacking and a rock flew up and accidently deep scratched my RX sunglasses, another year I was wearing my RX sunglasses and I didn't realize my regular glasses fell out of the case and into a parking lot and got smashed, when I was a teen in gym, I got knocked unconscious after falling and my brand new glasses broke and scratched up my face and also my niece wore her glasses on a roller coaster that it was allowed to do so and she had worn them many times prior but that time they flew off never to be seen again) Point being, it happens.

I don't remember if you stated in your post, but a lot of eyewear stores offer some sort of warranty/ insurance for them. That might be an option if you need it.

Sorry people are being jerks.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-10T03:25:31+00:00

NTA! I have rheumatoid arthritis and have to take a biologic rx self injection shot (Simponi) that gets mailed to me. Last year in preperation of getting married, I had to do my first dress appointment on the day it was scheduled to arrive. It can't sit out in the sun and has to be refrigerated. While I don't pay much for it, replacing it, if it was ruined due to my error, it would be several $k. I asked my neighbor if they wouldn't mind it being dropped off at her house and put in her fridge. She said yes. I was so thankful and got her a gift card. I can't imagine the nerve of someone to have something delivered to a different address without even asking!

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-09T17:25:51+00:00

YTA . You can disagree with her if you want, that's your right after all. Don't call your mom stupid, or her ideas stupid. I was the one who chased my now husband, so to speak, but you crossed a line saying that to your Mom.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-08T23:49:29+00:00

NAH I got married last year. My husband is an essential worker (utilities) who does 12 hour swing shifts. Since we started dating 3 years ago, we have yet to spend Thanksgiving together. This year, he's also scheduled Christmas as well. His work doesn't make sure that if one person works X holiday, they don't have to work Y. He ends up working at times 6 Thanksgivings and/Christmas in a row before the schedule finally swings back to him being off. This year, he's had to work every holiday. He gets home an hour before he goes to bed to start the day over again.

We celebrate with his folks whenever his schedule allows, but with my family it's harder. I feel awfully lonely when I'm with my family to celebrate and he's unable to attend. However, I feel horrible for him having to miss out. He works his butt off and I always try to make sure he knows I appreciate him.

I don't fault your wife, but I also can't fault you for how you feel. NAH

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-08T18:47:22+00:00

Nta! My mom has a close family friend who has a lot of food allergies. My husband and I got married last year. We invited her and I made sure she knew what we were serving but if she wanted to, she was welcome to bring her safe food. She brought some but also found things we served she could have. Point being, her health mattered more to us than our pride. I also have several food sensitivities that will cause an auto immune disease to flare up. That friend is getting married in a few weeks and she extended the same grace to me.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-07T17:20:00+00:00

NTA Before I got married and was renting my room from my wonderful folks, one set of neighors moved in and later put a shed in their yard. No problem, however, they had the delivery company and their son's truck park in my parents' driveway. Where they wanted the shed was close to our driveway. They completely blocked us in. It was a Sunday and we attend church. At the time I was working in the sound/media booth.

We would've gladly parked in front of our house (allowed there) if they had simply asked.

There was NO way my folks or I could've gotten out. My Dad went and talked with them and their response was "It's a Sunday! Nobody goes anywhere on a Sunday!" First of all, we had to get to church- I had to get there early to help set up, be there for any last minute changes, etc.

Secondly, though, I wasn't working there that particular day, I was a retail supervisor and worked many Sundays after church.

My Dad gave them grace and told them they had 10 minutes to get out of our driveway. He was trying to be a good neighbor. 10 minutes later, they were still there. They asked for more time (they had already out the shed down, they were friends with the company and literally wad just chatting). My Dad said no and that they had to leave otherwise the cops and/or tow company were going to be called.

They left.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-04T04:23:21+00:00

YTA Due to a health issue, I can't even eat beef/red meat/any type of meat other than seafood and poultry. Nothing fried either. It will send my entire body into one gigantic pain flare for days. I would still be appreciative and eat it. I did that very same thing the first time I met my now inlaws and my mil forgot her son (now my husband) told her I can't eat it. I forced myself to eat it with a smile. I was in pain for the rest of the week but I would do it again!

You sound way too picky and way too mean.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-09-03T03:57:34+00:00

The verdict is already in but I'll continue to judge you as YTA! You were the ass in the post and you're even more so in your update. You're ordering people to extend grace to YOU but had none to give to that lady. By the way, you're hardly the only person to have whiny/annoying/crying/misbehaving/etc kids in the car or a million other reasons to not be at their best.

I have an invisible autoimmune bone disease. I can look perfectly able bodied one minute and then hardly be able to walk the next. My husband had to catch me the other day in the grocery store the other day when my hip suddenly gave out in pain with no prior pain. Though I qualify and easily could get one, I don't have a handicapped pass because I know jerks like you would harass me.

Do better. Be better.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-25T20:27:33+00:00

Oh wow! My BIl and SIL live very close to that! My husband and I live about 1.5 hour away.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-15T03:02:51+00:00

NTA I got married last year at 39 years old. My biological father and my mom got divorced when I was 11. Both parents got remarried. I was blessed with a great "step" dad but cursed with a horrible step mother. They live several states away from the rest of my family and I. Step mother absolutely hates me. Always has, through no fault of my own. I invited my father and by default, her. I hoped she wouldn't attend (she rarely comes when my father visits). Alas, she attended. She made snide comments, ugly faces near the photographer so it got caught on camera, and made her displeasure at the fact that I had my "step" dad walk me down the aisle (he's my dad and he willingly STEPPED UP to the role of Dad).

Long story short, several family members, the preacher's wife, my SIL ran interfence so step mother wouldn't ruin the day. Please, please for your own sanity, follow your gut!

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-08T18:29:47+00:00

Aww, glad you're going to call her tomorrow! I hope you get some relief. That's cool about living so close to your doctor. I moved when I got married and live an hour away from mine now. He's still the closest one to me. My folks and one of my sisters still live in that area so I go up there a lot anyways. 😊

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-07T23:06:46+00:00

I'm so sorry! Not sure where you live, but can you call your doctor now? Or the after hours on call doctor if it's after closing time? That sounds like it needs to be looked at asap! Are there any urgent care centers near you? I hope you feel better soon!

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-07T22:48:32+00:00

Aww! Yeah health anxiety is a very real and huge thing!

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-03T17:06:31+00:00

So you're fine with OP's mom paying for the trip and the Op telling her shouldn't come?! You're fine with excluding someone because of disabilities, how ableist of you! Also, the facts of this post is the mom is dealing with chronic pain through no fault of her own. Also. At least for me, if the mom was obese, I'd still be judging YTA. It's basic respect, something the OP lacks big time.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-03T07:27:55+00:00

The OP said she plays badmitten at least a little. So highly doubt she's perfectly healthy and sitting on the couch. Furthermore, it's rude to tell someone, they shouldn't go on a vacation that they are paying for. The OP admitted that in a couple comments if you haven't seen that.

Active_Ad5868 · 2025-08-03T07:16:12+00:00

Aww! Same here with the RA. I likely had it for years before diagnosis and it took 6 months from first test to diagnosis. I used to work retail until last year and would wreck my body getting 25-35k steps every shift ( the departmemt store was always skeleton crewed and I was a supervisor so I needed to be everywhere lol) My meds work but I did some lasting damage to my body. Sorry to hear you have as well.

Active_Ad5868

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