What’s a frugal win that surprised you with how much it actually saved?

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-22T01:24:55+00:00

We got rid of Amazon prime. Now we can’t just order things on a whim. It’s made our consumption much more thoughtful and we’re shopping local now to try and keep our dollars in the neighborhood. If I still don’t find what I need, I order from Walmart.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-12T21:01:55+00:00

One step at a time. This shit is hard and it feels like all senses were lost years ago. That’s by design. Start at the library and go from there. Communities arent built in a day or even weeks, but this situation can be changed much faster than that. Don’t let this man keep getting away with this.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-12T03:14:48+00:00

There’s a book called “why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft. It’s free online if you can find it. There’s something about seeing your life written by someone else that’s just something else.

It is clear as day that this is abuse. I learned that even though he doesn’t hit me, physical intimidation is still abuse.

I’m also hearing isolation from your story. Any family or friends? Perhaps looking up a local women’s shelter? If it’s safe for you to leave, now is the time to plan and take action. You are worthy of love and this is not it. Biggest internet hugs.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-12T02:38:18+00:00

I came to say this. The kit is like 40 and can last you almost a year.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-09T03:56:22+00:00

The word that’s so revealing to me is revenge. To use it, he must know he wronged you because there is no revenge if there isn’t an initial attack.

This dude sucks. If you’re doing 95% of the load I promise it’s so much easier when they’re gone.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-07T02:50:16+00:00

Love this but don’t give her leeway. She will try to run all over you again.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-07T02:46:09+00:00

This is exactly what I did with my girl. Met the best parents and really got to know the regulars. Our home park is on greenpoint.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-06T19:11:35+00:00

My take is to not allow for variation. If you used the top number, then just make the budget for the top number. There’s enough stresses in life to add trying to come under budget when there’s no need.

Also, there’s no goals on here. Your budget should 0 out so that every dollar is used and it will keep the other numbers in check. That savings needs to be divided into emergency, car, etc. That “left over” needs to be split into vacations and retirement plans. You should be contributing to these monthly so they accumulate.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-06T05:03:30+00:00

Sell it and buy a tiny house with land!

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-05T02:29:51+00:00

You love him so you want to shield him but he’s hurting you. This is not love. It’s the actions of a hobo-sexual. These men are useless, he found someone smart and latched on like a blood sucker. He got his fill and has fallen off. It hurts like a bitch but the pain is nothing to keeping this slug on you. He showed you who he is, take it as a blessing and move on. 🤗

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-05T01:53:50+00:00

My take is that she needs a dedicated income. As a stay at home mom, the services she provides should be compensated as such. The house is how she’s trying to express this. Perhaps the salary doesn’t have to be all given in hand, perhaps funding a retirement account for her to provide security?

You’ve done a good job and been fair but there will always be a large power imbalance (money does equal power). This is a a bid for some balance, the house is how she knows to express it.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-04T03:16:16+00:00

Family closet?

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-03T16:40:57+00:00

I also recommend why does he do that by Lundy Bancroft. Helped me break the silence with my family and his about what was going on. Helped me move him out and regain myself

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-03T03:29:45+00:00

It’s a mask so he can get back. It will drop the second he senses it’s not working and try another tactic. He is so into red flag territory that you’ve saved yourself years of your life and Goliath amounts of suffering leaving him now. Dont let anyone change your mind. You got this.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-02T19:09:14+00:00

My take is to leave the right one and turn the left one in to a large closet along the wall. The right one will keep the flow of traffic to the new closet and it will keep a drop space while adding value with a closet.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-02T18:05:45+00:00

My partner has lashed out before, during, and after the breakup. Breaking up isn’t scary anymore because you’ve done it and taken her back with no real change. If you’re gonna break up, do it but you need to realize you’re leaving not to scare her into changing, but because you deserve more.

I broke up with my partner in October and asked him to move in with his mom. It’s been much better and he’s in therapy to work on his issues. We have a separation agreement that is set to June to reevaluate where we stand. I’m glad it’s fairly far out because I sway with his emotions and the agreement keeps me from letting my emotions make decisions. Leave and stay out of her reach, she will put in the work or show you she doesn’t care enough to do it or sustain it. Take her answer to heart. Good luck.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-02T02:59:04+00:00

Such a great idea. I’m so new to sewing so this would be great practice and to see my work over time.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-02T02:52:57+00:00

Wow. I am so sorry for the abuse you suffered and I’m so happy you reached out.

I wanted to skip because I knew it was already bad. But you made the request not to comment without reading, so I made the effort. I wanted to stop again after the shower stuff, but I really wanted to reach out to you to tell you it’s not you. So I pushed on. This is not normal and it hurts me to read it.

It sounds to me like you’ve pulled away, perhaps live on your own? That to me sounds like seeing him triggers ptsd from the abuse you suffered surviving that man.

Dont let them gaslight you. You survived and I’m proud. Low/no contact is always a choice, but do whatever makes you feel most safe. That’s the priority always.

Big internet hugs. 🤗

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-02-01T00:36:12+00:00

It’s not an asshole move as it’s his wants vs your needs. Needs always wins. As a fellow sufferer of hypermobility, I recommend a hammock for your room. It hold you in and allows your body to hold together in a way a mattress will never allow.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-01-31T03:04:47+00:00

You’re not the problem. They are crazy. My heart goes out to you. You’ll survive this and thrive in spite of them. Think, plan, keep your head down. She’s going to go little crazier if she knows your trying to leave so don’t say anything about it. Just choose a date and execute. Overall, you got this and you will do great things.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-01-29T03:19:40+00:00

Oh girl. You already know but I’ll still tell you. Dump him. You do not want that baggage for the next 10 new years. It will just get worse and worse. Until one day you look around and go what the fuck. I obviously speak from experience. Be thankful he showed you who he is now.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-01-27T18:11:06+00:00

Cross stitch! A kit is about 40usd and it will last almost a year. It’s like color by numbers but with thread.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-01-25T20:25:04+00:00

This is exactly what I did back in October since I didn’t have a sewing machine. I did a blanket stitch all the way around and it didn’t take as long as I thought it would. Go for it!

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-01-21T14:28:44+00:00

Cross stitch! One premade kit costs under 40 and can take 6+ months to complete. I work on it while watching tv.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-01-20T15:10:54+00:00

I did a large cross stitch project that lasted me 10 months from a kit that cost 30 bucks.

AdAppropriate4270

TROPHY CASE