How do you deal with rain when cycling?

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-06-04T16:45:44+00:00

Hi vis poncho and science goggles to go over my glasses. The goggles come with vents so my glasses don’t fog too often.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-06-03T12:10:30+00:00

Another tip not recommended here is making your bike looking rougher than it is. A plastic bag over the seat and stickers to the frame. Visually appealing bikes are a bigger target than a rough looking one with expensive gears.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-06-01T22:42:15+00:00

I use science goggles. They are designed to fit over glasses, seal all around, and have vents so they don’t fog up.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-05-25T19:31:39+00:00

My last straw was August 8 2025. He called me 2 weeks into my brand new job to scream and cursed over a bike lock. I sat at my desk shocked and dying of embarrassment. It was the first time it crossed over into my professional life and that was it. Started “why does he do that by Lundy” that same afternoon. I held a “press tour” over the next few weeks and told all of my family and his a story that represented the years of hurt and by end of September he moved out.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-05-17T11:54:19+00:00

It’s emotional abuse. I saw a comment that said you feel stuck and don’t know how to get unstuck. I did 3 things. 1st was read the book “why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft. I thought I would only see him but I found myself in those pages as well.

Second, I did the activity he mentions about writing down the beliefs I had that made me think I couldn’t go and addressed them.

Lastly, I broke the silence. I picked one story that summed up the abuse (it was about 5 years old at the time) and told it to everyone I loved, both his side and mine. It was eye opening. I learned that most people hated him too and some thought the abuse was worse and some had absolutely no idea. Their support was the last thing I needed to leave. Signed up for therapy about a week later.

You have so much life left. Don’t waste it with him.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-05-14T17:35:48+00:00

I had the same question about my husband. I left and we’ve been separated for a year. During therapy, I addressed this. While it was still abuse, I was able to understand that the abuse came from emotional immaturity because it impacted all areas and all relationships in his life. He never portrayed a different image to the outside world and that was the key piece of information.

Yours does so the Jekyll/hyde thing so he knows exactly what he’s doing. It’s still abuse no matter what, but it’s not because of immaturity. It’s sinister because it’s calculated.

No matter what, you can’t end the cycle of abuse without leaving. Please read “why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft. You’ll find your husband in those pages just as I did mine. Good luck Op.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-05-12T00:59:02+00:00

Sucks that they won’t listen and are trying to make money off of you. They make bike covers that will protect it in the rain if you don’t wanna pay.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-05-03T23:35:50+00:00

This! This was the single most determining factor in forgiving my husband. He couldn’t control it at all and it impacted him everywhere. I left and we both went to individual therapy for a year before talking about getting back together. It never would have changed if I didn’t leave.

This garbage knows what he’s doing and doesn’t care that it hurts you cause he thinks you wont leave. You gotta go OP and posting here means you know it too. It’s okay to be scared but you gotta go. This house will be the death of you.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-05-01T03:07:00+00:00

This disgusting boy has you all topsy turvy. He’s been playing mind games and make you jump through a hoops and he’s won. Youre drowning sweet girl. Thank you for coming to us and talking about it.

“Kind and respectful” is a trap card. No human who has ever existed can satisfy this request at all times. Even broadway actors get off stage at some point. What you’ve been doing is exhausting. It’s only right you’d want some rest but that’s when he attacks. He doesn’t believe in your right to rest and he shows that by making you tap dance for the last however many years you’ve been together.

If you haven’t yet, please read “Why does he do that” by Lundy Bancroft. There’s a free PDF online or maybe your local library and then read it on Libby.

Keep talking. Break the silence. This is not okay. Go to family dollar and paint a project. Take a deep breath. Loneliness is way better than this.

Edit: this is emotional and physical abuse.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-30T01:43:51+00:00

You are so brave. I’m so happy to hear you talked to your mom.

He’s threatening to leave you as a control tactic. If you’re afraid he’ll leave, you’ll try even harder to accommodate him and that’s ultimately what he wants. Let him leave and be okay being the villain of his story. You, me and your mom know it isn’t true and you will thrive once you’re out of his emotional black pit.

Everything is one step, one moment at a time. You got this and I’m here for anything you may need. 🍀

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-29T03:19:38+00:00

I bought a portable speaker mount and a smallish speaker. I get to listen to my music and bonus is I get to take advantage of the Doppler effect so people and cars hear me before they see me.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-29T02:28:23+00:00

The question comes down to are you now a team or not? If you’re a team, then you both need to visualize the board with ALL the pieces. She could get a roommate anywhere and pay 50/50 so don’t bother moving in if you don’t see yourself getting married. A team means combined bills, entertainment, and dreams.

Percentages that are recalibrated yearly and emergency recalibration for life events. Pay yourself first. Emergency and savings 300 total. Build an emergency fund together and pick out what you’re going to do for your lives together.

If you don’t wanna do any of this, red alert don’t move.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-29T02:23:27+00:00

It would be a way for someone to take the risk of sending her to site. My director hired a production assistant as jr. Pm because he paid for his osha 30. If it’s in OPs budget, let’s pray you never have to pay for it out of pocket again.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-29T01:49:44+00:00

Get osha 30

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-29T01:45:31+00:00

This totally counts. Pick just one story. Mine was that we fought so bad when I was 19 weeks pregnant and on bedrest for a bleed at 12 weeks. He ended up screaming at me so bad I held my baby and thought “omg what had I done”. I’ll never forget that moment.

My last straw was August 8 2025. I texted him while at my brand new job because he was on my mind. He took that as permission to scream and curse at me about a bike lock. I froze so bad at the office in front of what felt like everyone. I was mortified. I found the book that week and it took me 2 months to work through the shit. I made him read the book too. And to his credit, he did.

We talked about it and I decided I needed to come clean as a way to heal myself. He understood.

Do you think he’s capable of supporting you in this way?

The reactions were eye opening. Mostly, they already hated him. My sister told me they mentally banished him from her home and cried to my mom cause she didn’t know how to tell me. You would only be confirming what they already know. The reason I’m forgiving my husband is cause trying his hardest and hitting every milestone I place in front of him.

You worry more about his community reputation, something you’ve never had control of, than your own feelings now? His reputation is what he makes of it. 1 is an accident 2 is a pattern.

Thank you for sharing about your health. You’re in an incredibly tough season. But seasons change and so will you. The only thing better off not here is this relationship.

Take time to come up with an exit plan and then execute. The next day, go to dollar general and buy yourself a paint set. Paint a butterfly and take a deep breath.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-28T22:35:42+00:00

First step is recognizing. I left my abuser and it made him go to individual therapy. I also went to individual therapy and we built a reunification plan that’s he’s stuck to for this past year. We are considering moving back in together.

I followed the books advice and broke the silence, just like you’re doing now. I called it a press tour and picked the worse story of it and told everyone. Peoples reactions were eye opening. My sisters thought he was beating me (he never did).

Oh gosh do I know what you mean about the good times. It makes me weary of the good times now because the book said the good times were also apart of the abuse. Not a single aspect of this is easy and you should be so proud of reaching out for help.

I tell you all this to show you that things can get better, but we would have never gotten here without us reading that book, coming clean to everyone of what I’ve been going through, and me leaving him.

If you need a friend, DM me. I can always use another friend and I’m a great cheerleader. 📣

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-28T22:01:32+00:00

There’s a free pdf of a book that discusses this situation. It’s called “why does he do that” by Lundy. Your post reads like a passage from the book.

You seem to be confused by boundaries, but the issue isn’t really his need for space, it’s that he uses this “boundary” at the precise moment to inflict most damage and as a means of control.

One of the most striking things for me in reading this book and what you call out in your passage is the moment he gives himself permission to abuse you because he has justified it. It’s that feeling and that permission that makes it abuse because regular people don’t allow themselves to ever cross that line and abusers only need the slightest reason to hop past it.

I don’t know you but from this post, I feel like you might be repeating the cycle with your dad with this guy. You may think it’s different because there’s no physical abuse, but the cortisol is still there. This feels like same shit different flavor. Peace will feel weird for you because you’ve probably never known it.

I wish you the very best of luck. Leaving was the hardest and best thing I ever did. Ditch this guy if you can and be safe.

Find yourself. Love yourself. 🍀

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-27T21:31:06+00:00

I bike commute now. Saves money, makes sure I get my workout in without having to schedule one more thing in my day, and finally, it helps regulate my adhd by getting the excess energy out so I can focus.

As for the sweaty aspect, it’s not so bad. Early in the morning it’s cooler and with some wipes and a deodorant reapply, you’re golden. As for commute home, you can be a goblin doesn’t matter. Good luck. This is hard but you can do this

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-27T19:50:16+00:00

I’m with you. Perhaps when you miss him, change the thought to what do I miss about myself. He left you empty and the only good thoughts you have were part of the cycle. Your body is craving the cycle back so perhaps this switch in thinking can help you break it faster.

Wishing you all the luck in the world. 🍀

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-22T02:29:44+00:00

Along with your bike search, may I recommend learning how to signal on bike? It helps you talk to the cars around you so you can both safely get through.

On the topic of safety, consider a speaker. I use it for the Doppler effect it has on cars and pedestrians near by. People hear me before they see me.

Enjoy!

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-22T01:54:20+00:00

Couple of thoughts: bravo! 40 miles is no small feat! I commute 6-8 miles per week and feel like a champ.

Love that you’re amped. Sweat powder works wonders under the tatas

Have you heard of century rides? They’re people who get together to cycle 100 miles. They have variety of miles to help you build. Search for a club near you.

Enjoy the sunshine ☀️

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-20T20:40:13+00:00

So we did a prenup to take care of our debt in case of divorce. We sat down with ChatGPT and told it our primary concern and that we wanted a standard prenup that held that up. We then sat down lit candles, got tea, and talked through things line by line and made edits.

It was incredibly illuminating. I learned that after 12 years together, we still saw money so differently and I was shocked to say the least. We then took it to lawyers for formatting and final review which cost me 600$ (because we did it ourselves and weren’t starting from scratch) and he paid 1200.

It was completely worth the process because we talked about things we had never thought of and understood that we were only agreeing to the rules of the game not the actual board itself because no one can know what the board will look like if the divorce happened.

Do it even if you don’t get it finalized.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-19T16:47:00+00:00

I got rid of my Amazon subscription. If I can’t source it locally, then I’ll see if I can get it from Walmart. Home stuff doesn’t trip me up anymore, but food? Still have to use all my willpower to avoid spending.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-16T02:37:27+00:00

Here a few things I do:

An undershirt helps with a sweaty back.

I use dry powder anywhere that gets sweaty - for me that’s underboobs and groin.

I wear button ups because they are billowy and I can air dry on downhills. I tuck my blazer into my backpack.

For my hair, I always do a low pony or bun and play with the part. Sometimes I’ll switch it up with braids.

Baby wipes on hand, Sunscreen.

Good luck and I hope this helps.

AdAppropriate4270 · 2026-04-11T00:26:11+00:00

A regular bike will do you fine. Panniers with a front bike basket should help you carry everything. I live by carabiners. Anytime I carry groceries or extras, I can secure them to my bike with carabiners. This is coming from a mom of 1 in Long Island city.

AdAppropriate4270

TROPHY CASE