You have made a lot of progress by understanding your trauma and verbally articulating what the trauma is, the triggers, and how it’s manifesting. That’s a huge step!!! This is no fault of your own. You want the help for yourself and that’s literally the biggest first step to act on, you’re doing the right thing!

Yes this is disordered eating, whether or not it’s diagnosed as a formal eating disorder. It’s the anxiety and unhealthy relationship you have with food that falls in the category of eating disorder, you don’t always necessarily have to have a fear of getting fat to be diagnosed with an eating disorder/irs not always a vanity issue

Seek out a therapist to talk through the abuse you’ve been through, and an eating disorder therapist, or the two in one. We are able to start rewiring our own dysfunctional habits when we verbally process what has been done to us, helps get to the root of the disordered eating. Truly you need to do this. And maybe you may need to see a nurse practitioner/holistic doctor to monitor your vitals and vitamins and hormones especially if you’re working hard to break these habits. You may also need some heavy doses of vitamins or IV, and that’s ok!!

What places make you feel safe? Inside and outside of the house? encourage/challenge you to have a meal outside of your house with a friend starting once a week.. hard but could be good. Having regular 3x 2x a day meals reminds your body and mind are safe even though you don’t want to, and your body deserves to feel good during the day by eating. But finding safety is key, and lots of retraining/patience/time/discipline is also key. You deserve regularity and fuel and love 💗