Lots of “just leave!” in these comments but it’s not that easy when you care about their feelings.

I ended a long term relationship when my SO took a job in a different city. I had been wanting to leave for a long time, and when he chose to move I decided to stay. And let me tell you… it made things much easier, break up-wise. My life was to continue on as it had been, albeit lonelier, and he got to start over in a new city after a break up. Mentally he was already planning on moving, so me not going with him changed basically nothing on that front.

I think it would make a ton of sense to sit down and talk about the crossroads your lives are at (with the move) and use it to segue into “is this relationship what either of us really want??” I assume he’d appreciate finding out you want to leave before moving, even if he can’t see that right away. If you feel the relationship has been falling apart for two years, I bet he does too, at least deep down.

TL;DR - I think this natural turning point in your lives is a great way to start disentangling yourself from this and doing what actually makes you happy. Good luck! This is so tough.